


The Best Brothers (are not in love with you)

by Anonymous



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Incest, Kisses, M/M, Masturbation, Panty Snatching, Pervert Blue, Pervert Red, Pervert Sans, Reader Is A Skeleton, Reader is male, Reverse Harem, Sibling Incest, Will add more as I go, au based on another work, okay now that i got those out of the way, possible future smut, reader is a skelebro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:35:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 39,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22592632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: You're a happy skeleton who lives with your two brothers, Sans and Papyrus.You're happy... but you can't help but wonder what your life would be like with a little more excitement...Luckily for you, this excitement comes crashing into your life when several different versions of your brothers fall into your universe.And some don't seem to be looking at you very brotherly....
Relationships: Sans (Undertale)/Original Male Character(s), Sans (Undertale)/Reader, sans/OC
Comments: 134
Kudos: 391
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Something Is Wrong

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Best Brothers (are the ones who remember)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20231878) by Anonymous. 



The town is winding down after Gyftmas - it’s been about two weeks since the holiday, and the local school is resuming lessons starting today, even though the lights probably wouldn’t get taken down for another month or so.

Not that the time the school starts is important to you, anymore. You graduated a good two years ago. There were a few teachers who suggested you pursue further education in The Capital, but after some thought you decided not to.

Although The Capital itself was only a day's journey (and in one direction, no less), you felt as though it would put too much distance between you and your roots…. Between you and your family.

And, here, two years later, you felt like you made the right choice.

Your taller older brother was somewhat disappointed - he bemoaned your loss of a chance to become a fancy chef, often claiming that your natural talent could have landed you in one of Mettaton’s kitchens for his very expensive restaurant.

But.

You’d never really been interested in Mettaton’s franchises, even if they were often times the only brands available (although he tended to get into niche markets - you couldn’t think of anyone who would need bone moisturizer except skeletons, and yet he had a whole brand for them. He made himself a household name by doing this.), and being one of his ‘elite’ chefs never really appealed to you.

Sans seemed to be proud of you, though.

Your eldest and laziest brother had pulled a few strings to get Grillby to take you under his wing and train you in his restaurant. Perhaps this was another reason Papyrus lamented your choice to stay behind in Snowdin; he hated anything to do with Grillby’s or grease in general.

Although, even with Sans being his best customer, Grillby hadn’t let you into his kitchen easily. You were a server for a full year before he even let you _touch_ the ingredients he used to prepare the food he made.

From then, you were only allowed to prepare ingredients up until recently when he finally allowed you to use the grill.

It was another reason to celebrate, you guess. With the news of your ‘promotion’ at Grillby’s, Papyrus had put aside his ‘creative’ differences with the flame monster and chipped in with him to buy you new chef’s clothes.

They weren’t anything fancy, but they were _new_ and they were _yours._

Most nights you still waited tables and helped clean, but there was the added bonus of Grillby mentoring you after the bar closed. 

He didn’t have a lot going on, but it was still heart-warming to you that he would take time out of his day to teach you.

To show your gratitude, you’d done a deep-clean of the entire restaurant and kitchen for him as a Gyftmas gift.

Even as a man of few words, Grillby had apparently been touched enough to write you a thank you letter. It was pegged up on your wall with some other special notes and pictures you’d collected over the years.

In all, the last two years you’ve spent living with your brothers in Snowdin and working with Grillby have been some of the happiest you could recall.

…

But.

As happy as you were, your life was lacking _excitement._

Not that you needed it!

You could live the rest of your life out as you were doing now and be completely happy. You could never see the sun or the stars and be happy.

Monsters had been doing so for generations.

You couldn’t help but wonder, though, how common it was to want to experience something new. Snowdin was a charming little town, but the most exciting thing that ever happened was the king dressing up in a funny red suit and celebrating Gyftmas with the rest of the locals.

At first, it was an idle thought, but over time…. You began spending more of your time during the day daydreaming another reality where you met new people, experienced something different…. _Fell in love, maybe_.

Never for you.

But it was a nice thought.

“yo, snowdin t’ lele, what’s in that empty skull o’ yours?” Your brother teased. He was sitting in his usual place at the bar, knocking on the smooth wooden finish to get your attention. 

Your face burst into the shade of your magic - a bright, bubble-gum pink that quickly spread down to your cervical vertebrae.

Ugh.

The one thing you would change about your job, if nothing else, was your brother constantly dropping by for no other reason seemingly than to embarrass you.

He… he… he would place whoopee cushions all around, sniggering to himself when you set one off, and would make meaningless puns until you nearly yelled at him!

All in front of Grillby!

And what’s worse is that the elemental _encouraged him_ by laughing along or teasing you!

“I’m _thinking._ ” You stressed to Sans, turning away from him, pouting.

“oof, don’t hurt’cherself, kid.”

That one got a laugh out of Red Bird.

You spun around to give him a betrayed look. Then, you turned to Sans with a sour one.

“I’ll have you know I do thinking quite a lot, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I think _you_ are a major _jerk_.”

Sans only chuckled in that annoying I-Know-More-Than-You way that he did and took another drink from his disgusting ketchup bottle. You’d stop serving them to Sans if Grillby didn’t take an almost sadistic joy in adding each one to his tab.

Grillby came from the kitchen just then, saw Sans chuckling with you pouting and rolled his ember-like eyes.

“Do not…. Disturb…. My employee, Sans…” He admonished, knowing the usual routine.

“shucks, grillbz, guess you’re right… i’d hate t’ get my lil’ bro _fired._ ” Sans outright guffawed at Grillby’s look of complete disinterest. You couldn’t help yourself from letting out a small giggle of your own… Grillby had such an expressive face for someone made out of fire...

With a long, suffering sigh, Grillby handed you the food he’d made and went back into the kitchen.

“You’re not funny.” You told Sans, completely failing to hide your own amusement.

“and _you’re_ smiling.” Your attempt at a stern expression collapsed as soon as he said those words - he’d always said them to you or Papyrus whenever he told a joke, and it always got you because it was _true._

As annoying as Sans could be, you adored your brother.

“At the risk of sounding like Papyrus,” you started, “I am and I _hate_ it.”

++

Sans knew he was only torturing himself with the constant sight of his younger brother.

Hell, he’d known what he was getting himself into when he first suggested that Grillby teach Bradley how to cook; Grillby had been complaining of caring for the bar by himself, and had asked if Sans would spread the word several times.

And with as often as Sans could be found at Grillby’s, sitting in the same barstool, he’d known that he was going to spend a good amount of time getting to know whoever Grillby hired.

But Sans _hadn’t_ known that all of those brotherly feelings he’d had for Bradley were only the tip of the iceberg.

When Papyrus had grown older, Sans had looked on with a sort of fondness reserved for siblings; he’d practically raised the kid, after all. He was _proud_ that Papyrus had gotten taller and stronger than Sans could ever hope to be.

Bradley was different.

Bradley didn’t get much taller than Sans - only about half a head or so, and Bradley didn’t get much stronger.

Whereas there had been an obvious progression of growth with Papyrus, his shedding of stripes seemingly natural and on-time, it seemed as if Sans had blinked and Bradley was grown.

When Bradley first confronted them, asking for non-striped clothing, Sans had rejected the idea.

His baby brother was still so _small_ compared to Papyrus, after all, so _soft._ He was far from grown, he was still the same little baby bones that asked Sans for math help.

Except he _wasn’t_.

It felt as though there was some sort of fundamental disconnect between Kid Bradley and Adult Bradley.

Kid Bradley was weak. Adult Bradley was _gentle._

Kid Bradley was short. Adult Bradley was _delicate._

Sans had the misfortune to realize that Bradley was all grown up, and it didn’t feel anything like when he’d realized Papyrus was an adult. He’d known that Papyrus was grown when he proved that he could take care of himself.

Bradley’s adulthood crashed down on Sans one night when he caught the sight of his own younger brother’s clavicle as his too-large shirt dipped and nearly started drooling.

Of course he was devastated.

Brothers do _not_ look at brothers like Sans had been looking at Bradley. Brothers looked at brothers like how Sans looked at Papyrus - with love, but _never_ with lust. With fondness, but _never_ with affection that went further.

So why was it so hard to keep his magic calm when Bradley sat near him for movie night, or pouted when Sans teased him?

The bubble-gum pink of his brother’s magic was a frequent guest in his daydreams, and more than once Sans had caught himself shamefully wondering if his little brother’s magic would taste of candy.

_This_ is why watching Bradley flit about the bar, lifting this, moving that was torture.

Because a normal brother wouldn’t have noticed if Bradley was more sweaty than usual.

A normal brother wouldn’t have noticed if Bradley’s brows furrowed so _deliciously_ when he pouted.

A normal brother wouldn’t be looking desperately for any movement of his younger brother’s clothing, hoping, wishing that it would expose more clavicle or even part of his column vertebrae.

Slowly, though, Sans was realizing that he was _not_ a normal brother, and even more slowly he was coming to terms with it.

Papyrus seemed to show no romantic attraction, and so Sans took a small amount of comfort in the fact that he would not be questioned on his lack of romance life. Explaining that he was hung up on his youngest brother was not on Sans’ list of Fun Thing To Do.

Something else that _wasn’t_ on that list was the stupid machine his father had left behind before falling into the Core.

As much as Sans resented the old hunk of junk, he couldn’t deny that there was something about it that drew him in… maybe he wanted to finally figure out what Gaster couldn’t. Maybe he was just too curious for his own good.

Either way, he often pulled all nighters working on it… like he was bound to do today.

He ‘ported out of his seat and into the basement when Bradley’s back was turned, leaving a hastily drawn up IOU as a joke in his place.

What he wouldn’t give to see Bradley’s reaction.

++

The bar was always more quiet when Sans left - except on Saturday nights, when the dogs played poker. It seemed to be an attraction for the town - some wanting to try their luck, with others content to watch Doggo work himself into a cursing mess when Lesser Dog (a natural card shark) absolutely mopped the floor with him.

Although it was boring, it was also a reprieve from the lunch rush that you valued. Even when you weren’t serving, you were constantly cleaning up any messes guests had left, from trash on the ground to scuffs on tables or dropped food.

And ever since the jukebox broke, you hadn’t been able to listen to any music in your idle time, either.

Punk Hamster was doing a good job of trying to fix it, though. He said that he’d bring his tool box by tomorrow to see if he couldn’t get some faulty wiring worked out.

There wasn’t a clock at the bar, which meant that most of the time you had to rely on the time from patrons or just wait until Papyrus inevitably busted into the bar to pick you up. He timed his patrols perfectly in sync with the opening and closing of Grillby’s to accommodate your schedule. It was incredibly sweet and it made you feel happy that Papyrus would work his job around yours.

… But as time passed, Papyrus still didn’t show up.

It got to the point where Grillby came from out back to check on you.

“You… Can go home…. It’s time…” He told you, a concerned lilt to his voice.

You, too, were concerned.

Was Papyrus… okay?

He’d never _not_ picked you up…

“Okay…” You responded, giving Grillby a quick hug before leaving. He pulled you tightly to his chest, patting your back twice before releasing you just as quickly.

“I’m…. Always available… Call me if… You need help.”

“Got it, boss.” You replied softly.

Your bones rattled as you walked home. It was more of a jog than anything else - you felt so much unease in your soul, it was almost _screaming_ at you with its insistence that something was wrong.

Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, however, when you finally got home. The lights were still strung up, creating the illusion that your little house was more magical than it was. The front door was still intact, and indeed, it was even still locked….

When you unlocked the door and entered, though, the lights were on…

… And your living room was full…

Among the new house guests were Sans and Papyrus…

And…

Sans and Papyrus and Sans and Papyrus… 

What’s going on?


	2. You Make a SkeleTON of New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad joke in the title ;)
> 
> I'm feeling great, lol.

It took you a good three minutes of staring before you could properly register the fact that there were three versions of your brothers standing around the living room, chilling.

Okay, well, maybe _chilling_ wasn’t the right word.

The tension in the room was so thick you might as well try to cut it with one of Grillby’s wickedly sharp knives. All eye lights were on you - or maybe it was the door behind you. You _were_ letting in a lot of cold air….

You shut the door behind yourself slowly, not wanting to make any sudden moves. At least two of the new brothers in the room looked as though they might try to skewer you should you move too quickly.

Currently, the new brother who had the most of your attention was the tallest; he looked exactly like Papyrus but _pointier_. Including, but not limited to, the serrated teeth that occupied his mandible. He was wearing something similar to your taller brother, as well - a ‘Battle Body’.

Unlike Papyrus’, though, this skeleton’s was pitch black with spiked shoulders. He wore black leather pants and sleek red boots. If you hadn’t seen Papyrus ( _your_ Papyrus) standing not feet away, you would think that he’d for some reason decided to revamp his outfit into a supervillain get up.

_And_ he was looking down at you like you were the scum at the bottom of his ridiculously shiny boots. You sure felt like it under his stare.

Standing beside him was what you imagined Sans would look like if he’d had an ‘edgy teenager’ phase. Dressed almost exactly the same, with the exception of some coloration differences - such as his sweater being red instead of white, and his jacket black where your eldest brother’s was a signature blue. Like the taller, he too had sharp teeth.

They were more uniform, though. And one of them had apparently been knocked out and was replaced with a golden mould.

He was looking at you quite differently from the taller. It wasn’t a look you were familiar with, but you recognized it all the same.

It was the look that woman from out of town had given you when she’d had one too many. The lidded eyes, the quirked grin - it had been right before she’d grabbed you.

Grillby had escorted her out promptly after, but the feeling of her hands on your bones lingered.

Although you hadn’t reciprocated her feelings, you could feel that stare burn into you hours after she was gone.

_The same stare he was giving you_.

It was odd and a little more than unnerving to see that expression leveled at you by someone who so closely resembled your brother.

“OH. UM. LELE.” Papyrus said, sounding panicked, “WHY ARE YOU HOME?? YOU’RE EARLY, IT’S ONLY - “ He rushed over, pulling you to his side as he checked the wall for the time, and found it to be fifteen minutes after your shift ended. “OH. I’M… I’M SORRY, BROTHER, I SEEM TO HAVE LOST THE TIME. WHY DON’T YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM?”

As quickly and as quietly as possible, Papyrus lead you to your room, situated right in between his and Sans’. Meanwhile, you turned your head to look at the group of unfamiliar skeletons, watching as they stared at you with similar curiosity.

“Papyrus,”

“SAVE YOUR QUESTIONS FOR LATER, BROTHER! (I STILL HAVE QUITE A FEW OF MY OWN)!!!!”

And with that, you were shoved into your room, and the door was just about slammed behind you.

… You were alone. In your room.

For some reasons, the space you’d previously felt cozy in felt dull, cold, and uninteresting in light of your house guests. To know that the only thing separating you from this new _adventure_ was a door.

You knew better than to disobey Papyrus, though. He would only ever shove you aside to protect you, and you trusted him with your life. There were many times where he’d had a ‘gut feeling’ that had lead some very real consequences.

… That didn’t mean you couldn’t sit by your door with your skull pressed to the wood, trying desperately to hear anything about the newcomers.

While you hadn’t focused on them, you’d seen the other new pair and were just as perplexed by their appearance.

Where the pointy two had looked to be exactly like your brothers with the exception of some stylistic choices, the other two were almost _swapped._

The one who looked like Sans was clad in the blue you were used to, but he was wearing something similar to what you would expect to find in Papyrus’ closet - again, a ‘Battle Body’. But the one who looked like Papyrus had an orange hoodie and black joggers with a white stripe down the sides.

Unlike the rather opinionated Pointy Pair, these two only eyed you with the same curiosity you’d surely been looking at them with.

Who were they? And why were they in your living room?

Were they related to you? Some sort of cousins? Or were they perfect strangers?  
  
If so, did they want something? Did they just want to visit their doppelgangers?

You couldn’t hear much through the door, but it was enough to shed light on a few of the questions you had.

_“ya didn’t mention th’ kid.”_ A voice not unlike Sans’ - but rougher, deeper, lazier - spoke up. You unconsciously attributed it to Pointy Sans.

_“it didn’t come up.”_ Your eldest brother replied, sounding angry. It took you off guard - Sans was _never_ angry. In all the years he’d raised you with Papyrus, not once had he gotten upset with you. It was always Papyrus who had to be the ‘bad guy’ at times, enforcing your curfew, correcting bad behavior…

_“CAN WE MEET THEM? I’VE NEVER SEEN THAT MONSTER IN OUR UNIVERSE!”_ You didn’t know this voice - you couldn’t imagine it belonging to Pointy Papyrus, so it must have been one of the Swapped Pair.

_“NEVER?_ ” Your Papyrus inquired, sounding perplexed.

As were you. Universe?

_“NEVER!”_ The stranger confirmed, prompting some murmurs from around the room. You couldn’t catch what was said beyond that - it was too quiet, you had a feeling Sans and Papyrus knew you might be listening in.

Would they introduce you?

The thought of a missed opportunity, of some sort of new excitement you’d never get to explore flitted past your mind, and you were filled with a mild sort of panic.

You _must_ know these skeletons. If for nothing else than to satisfy your own curiosity.

… But you weren’t going to get any answers as you were. So, you made the executive decision to get dressed in clean clothes, ones that weren’t stained from work. You chose a soft sweater - it was one of your old striped ones from years ago that you hadn’t given away, and some sweatpants.

It was around the time for dinner, and you know Papyrus would never cancel a family gathering of any type, not even for doppelganger-mishaps, so you should be given the clear to leave your room soon.

Until then, you went back to the door, leaning your skull against it carefully to see if you could hear anything else.

You were foiled, however, by Papyrus opening your door exactly at that time, causing you to go sprawling forward into the hall, making a graceless dive towards the ground with your face.

“Ack!”

Papyrus tried to catch you, but you fell anyways.

“APOLOGIES LELE! I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE AT THE DOOR!”

Quickly, you pushed yourself up, and stood with Papyrus’ help.

“It’s okay,” You told him, “My fault… Who are the guests?”

When you asked, Papyrus got… nervous…

His tell was his tendency to wring his hands together, causing an awful squeaking sound to emit from his gloves.

… And he sure was squeaking up a storm.

“I THINK PERHAPS IT’S BETTER IF SANS EXPLAINS….”

Hesitantly, you nodded, and let him lead you into the kitchen, where everybody from before was standing around, some seated at the meager four-chair table, while others leaned against walls or counters.

Again, they all turned to you when you entered the room, eye lights trained on your form.

“GREETINGS! I HAVE RETURNED…” Papyrus told them, “AND THIS TIME WITH MY AMAZING YOUNGER BROTHER, BRADLEY HAND.”

“heh, gotta _hand_ it to you, paps, that was a pretty epic introduction.” Sans chuckled, sounding tense. Casually, he walked over from where he was standing and slung an arm around your shoulders. You leaned into him, seeking comfort in his warmth.

Of course, your attention immediately went back to Tall Dark and Scary. Or, in other words, Pointy Papyrus. He was looking at you again, but this time is was more appraising and less violent murder-y.

“YOU HAVEN’T GIVEN HIM A COLLAR.” He accused, looking towards Papyrus.

Both of you stared, stunned, at Pointy Papyrus. Was he suggesting that you should wear a… pet collar? It was then that you noticed the metallic gleam from around Pointy Sans’ neck. He was, in fact, wearing a red leather collar with spikes. It had a tag and everything.

“We don’t keep our sibs as pets in this ‘verse, buddy.” Sans said darkly beside you, pulling you tighter to his side.

“OF COURSE NOT.” Pointy Papyrus rolled his eye lights, “COLLARS ARE FOR PROTECTION. HOW ELSE DO YOU SEND A MESSAGE?”

“‘sides the stripes.” Pointy Sans pointed out, and you looked down to see that you were, in fact, wearing your old striped sweater. “ya weren’t rockin’ those earlier, sweetheart. wow old are ya?”

Sans’ phalanges dug into your clothing as he tightened his grip even further. It was starting to hurt, so you lightly pushed him off. Instead, you took one of his hands in yours. He was tense, he didn’t seem to like these newcomers.

“I’m grown.” You told Pointy Sans, “I just like this sweater.”

“not that grown.” Sans quickly corrected. “he’s still pretty young.”

You huffed, pouting slightly. It was the same argument over and over again with Sans… he refused to admit that you were an adult. Instead, he always treated you like a kid, insisting you wore stripes if you were going to leave Snowdin or refusing to talk about certain topics with you around.

Even talking about you like you weren’t even there...

“ALL THE MORE REASON FOR HIM TO HAVE SOME SORT OF PROTECTION! HE’S SMALLER THAN SANS - WELL, MY SANS…!”

Sans flinched, while Pointy Sans grimaced.

“thought we were gonna be hush hush ‘bout that?” Pointy Sans grouched, looking over at you again. You tried to catch his eye, but he seemed to be almost avoiding your gaze, now.

“SURELY YOU WOULDN’T EXPECT US TO KEEP SECRETS FROM OUR OWN BROTHER?” Blue Sans pitched in, tilting his head. He was staring at you, now, his blue eye lights traveling up and down your figure.

“WELL, TECHNICALLY,” Papyrus spoke, wringing his hands again,

“he’s not your brother.” Sans finished darkly. “he’s our brother. not yours.”

“I’m confused.” You told the room. “Are you guys long-lost family? Why are you here?”

“I’M SANS!” Blue Sans exclaimed, bouncing over to take one of your hands in his. He was smiling at you almost _too_ widely, and he’d taken one of your hands in order to shake it vigorously.

He was around the same size as Sans - if a little bit shorter, the top of his skull right at your nasal ridge.

You blinked, attempting to gain some control in the handshake.

“YOUR BROTHER FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE! ISN’T THAT SO EXCITING? I DIDN’T HAVE A BRADLEY IN MY UNIVERSE… “

You looked at the skeleton who just claimed to be Sans dumbfounded. Sans… from another universe?

“I ALSO THINK THAT HIDING OUR IDENTITIES IS UNDERHANDED. I’M THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD AND ENFORCER OF THE LAW.” Pointy Papyrus introduced himself, as well, not moving to shake your hand, but giving you a nod.

You would have returned it if not for Papyrus suddenly snatching you up in his arms, away from the others. You scrambled in his grasp, not able to see anyone as he was holding you too tightly.

“WELL I’M THE GREAT AND VERY NOT-TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, SO ONE OF US IS GOING TO HAVE TO CHANGE OUR NAME AND I VOTE NOT ME!”

“WHAT ABOUT ME?” Blue Sans interrupted, “DO I HAVE TO GET A NEW NAME? I LIKE MY NAME.”

You could hear Pointy Sans snort from his place beside Pointy Papyrus. “i dun’ mind, i got plenty o’ names… question is whether or not they’re safe fer kids ta hear.”

“Still not a kid!” You insisted, even as you were being carried by Papyrus.

“oh, i believe ya, sweetheart…” He purred. His tone nearly made you pass out from how much magic rushed to your skull. Was he really flirting with you??? Papyrus shifted to hold you tighter, much like how Sans had been doing before.

“knock it off.” Sans growled.

“I’M GETTING IMPATIENT.” Pointy Papyrus growled right back. “I’LL TAKE ON A NEW NAME FOR THE SAKE OF CONVENIENCE, BUT I’M CHOOSING IT…. LET ME THINK”

“VERY WELL!” Papyrus told him, “DOES ANYBODY ELSE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR THEIR NICKNAMES?”

“stretch.” Orange hoodie finally spoke up, giving one word before reclining back against the counter he was resting against. He was silent throughout the entire ordeal, watching you and your brothers with an almost scary amount of focus.

“red.” Pointy Sans settled, pointing to himself, “i get called it often ‘nough, anyways.”

“I SUPPOSE I’LL GO BY BLUE THEN, FOR THE SAME REASON.” Blue Sans finally ceded.

Which left only Point Papyrus without a nickname. All heads turned to him, which seemed to irritate him slightly.

“CALL ME EDGE.” He bit out with a huff.

“And call _me_ Lele.” You said, finally able to introduce yourself, even if you were being carried by your older brother.

“FANTASTIC!” Papyrus exclaimed. “BUT LELE AND I MUST MAKE DINNER. WHY DON’T YOU ALL ACQUAINT YOURSELVES WITH THE HOUSE WHILE I WORK??”

“i’ll show you around,” Sans offered, sounding anything but casual, “lay out a few… _rules…_ ” 

Sans showed them out of the kitchen, resulting in quite a few grumbling skeletons, but none fought him on it. After a few moments, you were left with Papyrus, who was still holding you.

“... Bro?” You tried, not wanting to upset him.

“Sorry.” Papyrus sighed, “I’m A Little Nervous With The Others Around.” Gently, he set you down back on your feet. “I Do Trust That They Won’t Harm You… But It’s Hard For My Instincts To Grasp That As Well.” He admitted.

“It’s fine.” You told your brother, “But I was worried when you didn’t come in on time. I think Grillby was worried too, you might want to drop in tomorrow and let him know about all this.”

“I’ll See.” Papyrus replied with a non-committal hum.

“So… who are they?” You ask, for what feels like the billionth time. You’d never gotten a straight answer.

Papyrus’ eye sockets narrow as he begins to prepare food. You watch him, knowing that the process of burning spaghetti is somewhat cathartic for him. Even if he doesn’t know that the flames aren’t supposed to go that high…. 

“I Wanted Sans To Explain, But I Suppose It Falls Upon My Shoulders To Once Again Be The Responsible Brother… They Are Us.” He explained, “From What Sans Told Me, They Are Versions Of Himself And I From Around The Multiverse.”

“I don’t quite understand.” You admitted.

What did that mean? Sans and Papyrus from other worlds?

“Neither Do I, BUT, I Do Know That They Will Be Staying With Us Until Sans Can Send Them Back... Arrangements Will Need To Be Made.” Papyrus put down the pot he’d just gotten out, heaving a large sigh.

“I Can Already Tell Edgy-Me and Sans Are Going To Be A Source Of Constant Headaches…” Papyrus lamented, “Where’s My Ice Cream For Doing All Of This?”

“I’ll get you some after dinner,” You offered, knowing how much Papyrus loved his ice cream. After cleaning or recalibrating his traps, Papyrus always ‘rewarded’ himself with a nice frozen treat. When you were younger, it was always enough enticement to help him out.

“Thank You, Lele…” After that, the kitchen was largely silent as the two of you worked. Well, it was more like Papyrus made spaghetti and you watched. He insisted that since your job was in a kitchen that you shouldn’t have to cook at home.

Which meant that Papyrus cooked all of your meals…

… He was improving slowly, at least.

By the time the pasta was sufficiently charred and the mess of tomato had been cleaned off the walls, it had gotten darker outside.

“LELE, COULD YOU PLEASE GET SANS AND THE OTHERS FOR DINNER?”

“Of course,” You said, leaning your head out of the kitchen. Hm. The house wasn’t very big, and yet you couldn’t see a single one of your brothers’ counterparts anywhere at all…

Except for on the couch, where Stretch was lazing, his orange hoodie in perfect contrast to the green fabric of the furniture. He looked to be asleep.

Well, if he was anything like Papyrus, it wouldn’t be too difficult to wake him.

“... Um. Stretch? Dinner’s ready.”

… No movement. Was he snoring?

  
  


“... Stretch?”

Still, nothing.

Slowly, you crept closer, until you were standing only a foot away from the napping skeleton. Cautiously, you raised your foot and nudged his leg with it.

“IT’S GOING TO TAKE A VERY LONG TIME TO WAKE HIM IF YOU DO THAT!” A voice from behind you spoke up, making you jump _out of your skin._

With a squeak, you spun on your heels and saw Blue. He was still grinning at you, hands clasped behind his back as he looked up at you. “PAPY’S A VERY HEAVY SLEEPER!”

_Papy._ You used to call your Papyrus that when you were younger.

You guessed that he was talking about Stretch.

“Dinner’s ready.” You told Blue, “I’m supposed to tell you guys.”

“DID YOU WANT HELP?” Blue asked, “GETTING EVERYBODY!”

Did you want help…? Well, you were going to have to get to know all these new skeletons _somehow_ , and Blue didn’t seem dangerous. Just like a loud version of Sans who actually _wants_ to help instead of being lazy - and actually, he was nothing like Sans.

It was difficult to see how this could be your brother in _any_ universe.

Then again, he wasn’t your brother. He didn’t have a Bradley of his own. He was just some guy that looked like Sans, really. But he was going to be living with you for who knows how long, so you might as well get to know him.

“Sure. Thanks, Blue.”

Said skeleton cheered, and promptly went over to Stretch. You watched curiously as he flicked the side of Stretch’s skull, “WAKE UP, LAZY BONES!” 

Stretch startled, jumping in place, looking around in confusion before his eye lights landed on his brother.

“sans…?”

“DINNER’S READY, PAPY!”

“dinner?” Stretch looked around, his gaze falling on you. “oh.”

“Papyrus has dinner ready in the kitchen.” You explained further.

Stretch settled back in his seat, “okay.”

“Okay.” You parroted, feeling your face start to heat up. Stars, this was awkward.

A hand clasped around yours, though, tugging you away before you could think on it too long. It was Blue, giving you a large grin as he pulled you to the stairs.

“THE OTHERS WERE ARGUING OVER ROOMS, LAST I REMEMBER!”

True to his words, you found Red, Edge, and Sans all inside Sans’ room. Edge did _not_ sound happy.

“YOU EXPECT ME TO STAY IN _THIS_ UTTER STY? HAH! YOU’RE MORE STUPID THAN I THOUGHT - IS THAT A _TRASH_ TORNADO?” Edge ranted, scandalized.

“sorry, buddy.” Sans replied, “this isn’t a hotel, we don’t have unlimited rooming. it’s either here or the couch.”

“He can stay in my room?” You spoke up, drawing the attention of the others. Edge’s eye sockets narrowed as you were so used to Papyrus’ doing - yes, this version of your brother made much more sense. And it was pretty unthinkable of Papyrus to stay in Sans’ sty.

“lele, go back downstairs.” Sans hissed.

You frowned. Sans was _still_ treating you like a child, and in front of your guests, nonetheless! It was embarrassing and insulting, honestly.

“Paps wanted me to get you guys for dinner.” You huffed. “And I can bunk with Papyrus. My room is clean, at least.”

Sans clenched his teeth, but didn’t say anything.

“I’LL CHECK THE ROOM AFTER DINNER,” Edge sniffed, “TO SEE IF IT’S UP TO MY STANDARDS. AFTER SEEING THIS ROOM, THOUGH, I DON’T HAVE MUCH HOPE.” 

He left the room, walking towards the kitchen. Red followed him, quiet, but not without throwing a heated, “ _thanks, doll_.” At you. He winked again and waggled his brow bones.

Well. Maybe it would be good to stay away from some of them. That one, at least.

“WE DID IT!” Blue said behind you, holding your hand tightly in his. “LET’S GO EAT!”

But you were still looking at Sans, and he was still looking at you. You were having a silent argument.

_Stop treating me like a kid_

Sans bit out a bitter sigh through his teeth. It was as much of an answer as you were going to get at the moment. And it was a negative.

Without looking back at Blue, you agreed with the slightly smaller Sans.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

You turned away from Sans, then, leaving him alone in his mess of a room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to level with you guys, this fic is SUPER self-indulgent. I just wanted all of the Sanses to love Bradley XD.
> 
> So don't be afraid to get a little self-indulgent and ask for a particular scenario!!
> 
> Also I'm super inspired for this fic right now since It's literally just wish fulfillment, so I'll be writing a lot....
> 
> Leave a comment if you so wish ;DD!!


	3. False Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus attempts to help break the ice during dinner, but Bradley is getting heated all on his own ;)

Nothing about this situation was ideal to Sans.

Not only did he have to give up his room, but due to his mistake, _Bradley_ was being pushed out of his room, and now they all had to room with _Papyrus_ , even though Sans _knew_ that Papyrus kept his personal space sacred.

As loud and extroverted as the tall skeleton was, he reserved a few hours of the day to recharge himself. It was one of the few things he requested, and now Sans had ruined even _that_.

… At least he could keep an eye socket on you. Sans wasn’t blind to how the other versions of himself eyed his youngest brother.

Red was more overt in his flirtations. He gave you heated looks, and had made several lewd comments after they left you and Papyrus behind in the kitchen.

Sans could hardly stand to _look_ at the slightly taller version of himself. He might lunge at the other and try to strangle him otherwise. Unfortunately, he was by Edge’s side at all times, which was a pretty good deterrent for murder attempts.

_Blue_ was more subtle, though. Sans could still see the way he looked at you. Could still see the way he held your hand close to himself, how he tugged you along, the odd quirk to his grin when he looked at you…

He was _curious_ about you.

And Sans hated it.

You were _his_ younger brother.

And you were _angry_ with him. For treating you like a child, for trying to protect you from the _impostors_.

Blue had dragged you away, leading you towards the kitchen, leaving Sans alone. Before he could tell the others to keep their grimy mitts off of you, too.

He knew you weren’t a child. 

But he’d thought that maybe if he played up how young you were, the others might get the message and _back off_.

Red, especially.

It was an unspeakable level of infuriating to watch him be so _obvious_ over whatever infatuation with you he’d developed within the past few hours while _Sans_ has been pining for almost a year, restraining himself - !

…

Sans gathered himself again. He couldn’t get too worked up at the dinner table, or else he might try and do something that would make both you and Papyrus more upset than you already were.

The newcomers weren’t being talkative, though, and you weren’t quite in the mood to carry a conversation over the dinner table so they ended up in an _awkward,_ so to say, situation.

There weren’t enough seats at the table, so Papyrus ended up having to stand. As did Edge. Stretch took a seat on the living room couch, and Papyrus didn’t even have the heart to scold him.

… The table was silent.

And you weren’t looking at Sans, avoiding catching his eye socket at all costs.

Papyrus, on the other hand, was looking at Sans _far too much_ . Usually, Sans wouldn’t mind, but Papyrus was looking at Sans like he wanted him to _do something_.

Really, hadn’t Sans already done enough?

“WE SHOULD GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER!” Papyrus blurted, suddenly and loudly. “TELL US ABOUT…. WHERE YOU CAME FROM?????”

Thankfully, it took all of the attention off of Sans, unfortunately, it gave the other Sans, Blue, a reason to open his big mouth.

“OUR HOUSES ARE VERY SIMILAR.” He said, looking deep in thought. “I’M A SENTRY BACK IN MY WORLD WITH PAPY, AND I’M TRAINING TO BE IN THE ROYAL GUARD!”

Some of Papyrus’ nervousness melted away. Sans was glad. Papyrus’ anxiety was fickle but it seemed like some shared interests might keep it at bay.

…. That being said, it meant Sans could refocus his attention on _you_ , knowing that Papyrus was okay.

You were looking at Blue curiously. He’d taken the seat next to you at the table, leaving Sans to sit across from you, which Sans had originally been upset about, but didn’t care much about when he realized it left Red further away from you.

“REALLY?? I TOO, ASPIRE TO JOIN THE GUARD ONE DAY AND CAPTURE A HUMAN!!” Papyrus told Blue, a big grin plastered on his face.

“That’s the same, too, at least.” You spoke up, “Sans and Papyrus are sentries here as well. Does Stretch sit around all day and do nothing?”

“not _nothing_ …” Stretch protested from the room over. “i’ve done a ton of work today. A _skele_ ton.”

“PAPY, I SWEAR TO QUEEN TORIEL I _WILL_ GROUND YOU.” Blue threatened. Seemed he was closer aligned in personality with Papyrus.

And it seemed like you were catching onto that quickly. 

“jokes on you, bro,” Stretch chuckled, “we’re already underground.”

“........ WE COULD ALWAYS USE THE SHED AS AN EXTRA ROOM.” Papyrus mentioned, almost idly.

Stretch snapped his jaw shut at that, his sockets widening.

Guess they must have had a Shed back in their universe, as well.

Blue changed the topic, though, back to his universe. He mentioned a few things before something else that caught Sans’ attention was revealed.

“I TRAIN WITH ALPHYS, THE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD!”

Which, of course, drew a raised brow from both Papyrus and Edge. Hell, even Sans was a little shocked. He went to college with and worked with Alphys briefly in the lab… it was weird to think about her in Undyne’s place, yelling at cadets and suplexing boulders.

“MS. ALPHYS IS CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD IN YOUR UNIVERSE????” Papyrus gasped, “I TRAIN WITH UNDYNE!”

Blue shook his skull, “UNDYNE IS THE ROYAL SCIENTIST!”

“ _ALPHYS_ IS THE ROYAL SCIENTIST HERE! SHE WAS GIVEN THE TITLE BY THE KING HIMSELF!” Papyrus explained.

“UNDYNE WAS GIVEN HER POSITION BY THE QUEEN….” Blue supplied.

“It’s almost like things are swapped in your universe.” You offered (your face was strangely pink… like you’d been running…). Blue’s attention was once again on you as he smiled sweetly.

_(Sans hated that smile, he shouldn’t get to look at you so sweetly, and you shouldn’t be giving him a nervous grin back - !)_

“I THINK YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT!” Thankfully, he turned his attention to Edge and Red next (the latter of which seemed to be occupied by something Sans didn’t know, his stupid cracked face was pulled into a smug smirk, and he was leaning too far back in his chair…) “WHAT ABOUT YOU, EDGE? DO YOU HAVE A QUEEN OR KING?”

“WE HAVE A KING, NOT THAT THE BASTARD DOES MUCH ELSE BUT LORDE IT OVER EVERYONE ELSE.” Edge explained. “AND I’M THE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD IN MY UNIVERSE.”

“co-captain.” Red fake coughed.

Edge glowered at him.

“UNDYNE IS MY _VICE_.” He growled defensively.

Red only laughed lightly and sunk back further in his seat. Not too long after, Sans was distracted by a squeak from across the table.

It was you. Your face was, at this point, bright pink, and you were looking down at the table, avoiding all eye contact.

… And Red was still smirking.

Sans… did not like that….

“WOWIE!” Papyrus, oblivious to the strange occurrences at the table, looked at Edge with admiration. “YOU MUST HAVE TRAINED VERY HARD TO SURPASS YOUR UNDYNE.”

Almost as if the praise was inflating not only his ego, but his body, Edge puffed his rib cage out. “IN MY UNIVERSE, IT’S KILL OR BE KILLED…. I SIMPLY ROSE TO THE TOP USING MY NATURAL ABILITY!”

“... KILL OR BE KILLED….?” Papyrus asked, an edge to his voice as his eye sockets narrowed suspiciously.

Sans was suddenly tense, on alert. He hadn’t even thought to check the others for LV… he’d assumed that they might be dangerous, but not as to have… as to be _killers._

He suddenly wanted you and Papyrus far, far away from these alternates.

Edge’s eye sockets narrowed right back at Papyrus.

“CORRECT. ASGORE DECLARED IT TO BE SO AFTER HIS WIFE LEFT HIM. I, ALONG WITH THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE GUARD, ENFORCE WHAT LITTLE LAWS ARE LEFT. WITHOUT ME THE ENTIRE UNDERGROUND MIGHT AS WELL FALL INTO ANARCHY.”

“‘s true,” Red piped up, “boss is th’ best. keeps snowdin safe.”

“OH.” Papyrus did not sound nearly as impressed as he’d been before. “A… A GUARDSMAN DOES WHAT HE NEEDS, I SUPPOSE…”

“goddamn right he does.” Red grouched, sounding a little irked. He’d sat up straighter in his seat and drew his shoulders up.

Sans could at least the instinct to defend his brother.

“I THINK IT’S VERY ADMIRABLE THAT YOU TAKE SUCH AN ACTIVE ROLE!” Blue complimented. “I WISH MY BROTHER WOULD GROW SOME AMBITION.”

“i have _plenty_ of ambition.” Stretch pointed out, “it’s just mostly focused on sleeping and eating.”

“OF COURSE.” Blue said sarcastically, “LET US NOT FORGET YOUR CRIPPLING ADDICTION TO SWEETS.” 

The short skeleton looked to _you_ next, “ _PLEASE_ TELL ME THERE’S NO MUFFET’S IN THIS WORLD…”

You shook your head. “In Snowdin, no. She’s out in Hotland… we have a bar called Grillby’s right down the road, though.”

“heh, nice.” Red commented.

“I CAN THINK OF SEVERAL OTHER ADJECTIVES I WOULD RATHER USE TO DESCRIBE THAT INFERNAL BUILDING.” Edge bit out dryly.

Papyrus hummed in agreement. “ME TOO. SANS SPENDS HIS DAYS THERE, WASTING AWAY, BOTHERING POOR LELE DURING HIS WORK.”

Red perked up instantly at that. Sans knew that if the slightly taller version of himself was anything like, well, _himself,_ exactly why.

And he was _not_ keen on having the red menace steal your attention at the bar, or even really at the bar at all. That was _Sans’_ place. Not Red’s.

“you know me.” Sans started, “just gotta keep an _eye socket_ on lele.”

You didn’t seem impressed.

“I wish you _wouldn’t_ …” You muttered.

“you a waiter, sweetheart?” Red asked, still looking like a dog having a bone dangled in front of him.

“Yes, Grillby’s training me in the kitchens.” You were starting to turn pink again, and Sans was starting to see a pattern that he didn’t appreciate.

Sans also really wished Red wouldn’t look so _happy._ He didn’t realize he’d gotten so tense again until he realized that the fork in his hand was bending.

_shit._

“heh…. guess we’lll be seein’ a lot o’ each other considerin’ i love th’ place. what’s grillbz like in this ‘verse? still a flamin’ bastard?”

“He’s very nice,” You insisted, “Except that he let’s Sans keep his ridiculous tab.”

“aw,” Sans grit out, “thought those burgers were on the house for your big bro.”

“Hmph.” You ignored him.

You _ignored him._

If you weren’t careful, Sans might need to have a _talk_ with you about this. He understood that you were upset but he _really_ didn’t like how you constantly undermined him. In front of the others, especially.

“I LOVE GRILLBY’S FOOD, BACK IN MY UNIVERSE HE HAD A STAND IN HOTLAND.” Blue spoke. “MAYBE I’LL VISIT YOU AS WELL?”

_like hell you will, blue bastard._

The conversation continued like this until everybody had choked down their food, with Sans watching as you got progressively more pink. He looked to Blue, who seemed to be none the wiser, then to Red, who was watching you with almost just as much intensity.

_what’s your game - ?_

“Dessert!” you exclaimed after gathering everybody’s plates and interrupting Sans’ train of thought. “I’ll get us some dessert!”

++

Dinner was torture.

First, there was the awkward silence. Papyrus remedied that, though, by asking questions and in general being his amazing self, but beyond that, Red was _touching you_.

Not with his hands, no, but periodically he’d knock his foot against yours under the table. That in itself wasn’t flustering - it was the looks he kept giving you, and the way he kept making lewd gestures when nobody else was looking.

You were shocked, honestly, that nobody had caught him.

He was slouched low in his seat so that he could get his legs all up in _your_ leg room. More than once you accidentally brushed up against his leg and could practically _feel_ his chuckles from across the table.

They were like Sans’ but _oh so much deeper_ and carried a _much different_ context.

The idea of _anyone_ flirting with you - let alone someone with your older brother’s face - was flustering you _badly_. It felt like when Sans would come to Grillby’s just to watch you. The rare days where there weren’t any whoopee cushions or bad jokes.

You never mentioned it since you figured he was just particularly stressed on those days, but you’d caught the way he watched you… like you were the only thing he could see.

You didn’t tell Papyrus about it, and you _definitely_ didn’t bring it up with Sans.

You didn’t know what it _meant_.

You _also_ didn’t know how Red could basically be putting his feet up in your lap with Sans and Blue’s feet under there as well. Surely they would notice?

Blue was as happy as ever, chowing down on the burnt pasta with very little hesitation. He occupied the seat next to you as soon as you’d sat down taking Sans’ usual spot. You were okay with that development since it meant that you wouldn’t have to be so close to your brother during dinner.

He was making you pretty angry with the whole ‘kid’ thing.

Maybe it was petty, but you were deciding to ignore him for the time being.

And _maybe_ it was mean, but you were indulging Blue and Red more than you normally would…

If Sans wasn’t going to be nice, then you were going to be _very_ nice to his alternates. They were your brothers too, technically, so it stands that you should be allowed to interact with them.

You were an adult, after all, who could take care of himself.

Blue was nice so far, and Red was… well. He certainly seemed to like _you_ a whole lot. You haven’t gotten to interact with Papyrus’ doubles much, yet. Edge was intimidating, but Stretch was like a taller version of Sans. And not weird passive-aggressive Sans, either. The Sans that helped you build snow skeletons and gave you cookies when you got good grades on your report card.

He just had that _energy_.

Throughout dinner, however, Red was getting more bold and Blue was scooting his chair closer to you and it was just _a lot_ . You weren’t used to getting this much attention outside of Grillby’s, with both of the Sanses seemingly _fixated_ on you or something.

Red’s gaze stayed on you, even as he spoke to the others. You could tell that Sans was starting to get pissed off about it. Or maybe Sans was just angry with you not being an obedient little kid.

It was strange since you _never_ rebelled as a teen. There was nothing to rebel against. Sans was cool and fun, while Papyrus was stern but also still _very_ fun.

You were completely out of your element, basically.

Which is why you stuttered your way through explanations as you took the others’ plates. It was more familiar like this, you could pretend you were at the bar, waiting, and that you were bussing tables while the others talked more.

And, Papyrus wanted his ice cream, so you could get dessert out for the table and escape Blue’s closeness and Red’s touching.

You prepared a few bowls, all the while trying to calm your magic. Red’s little nudges with his foot along your tibia and fibula had _somehow_ made your magic start to act up. Not only were you blushing, but you could feel it circling your spine, like it wanted to do something.

This was all so new…! You were so embarrassed. You didn’t want Red to know what effect his flirtations _(were they flirtations? Was he messing with you, like Sans often did?)_ had on you, and you _definitely_ didn’t want your brothers or their counterparts to know.

Behind you, you heard footsteps, and you nearly rattled apart when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

Whipping your head around, you were relieved to find that it was only Papyrus. He looked concerned.

“NEED SOME HELP, LELE?”

You nodded dumbly, not knowing how else to respond, handing him some bowls. “Uh, yeah, if you could give these to the guys…?”

With flourish, Papyrus balanced the bowls on his arms (with one on his head, even!) and brought them into the next room.

“ICE CREAM! COURTESY OF OUR FANTASTIC CHEF, BRADLEY HAND!” He went around the room, handing a bowl to each skeleton. Edge seemed to take his almost reluctantly, while Blue was almost ninja-fast in accepting the treat.

“THANK YOU, LELE!” The small blue skeleton extolled.

“yeah, thanks, kid.” Stretch hummed, eagerly digging into the frozen treat once he got his bowl.

“I didn’t make the ice cream.” You protested, feeling even _more_ magic rush around your bones.

If you didn’t stop producing more magic, you were sure something would happen. It felt _weird._

“BUT YOU LOVINGLY PREPARED IT!” Papyrus reminded you.

“shucks, sweetheart.” Red snickered, looking up at you like _he knew_ what you were feeling. “didn’t have ta make me ice cream, yer enough of a snack as it is.”

“Please don’t eat me.” You told him with a nervous grin. With his teeth, he could certainly attempt to take a rather large bite of you and _wow,_ okay, _stars,_ that thought wasn’t supposed to make your magic burn, but it _did._

“promise i’d make it feel good.” Red offered, the most blatant of all his flirtations so far. You nearly physically fell down with how surprised you were.

And then… 

Sans elbowed Red hard in the ribs. Your brows nearly rose off of your face as Papyrus gasped.

“SANS - !”  
  


“oops, sorry red, didn’t mean to.” Sans sounded perfectly casual. If you hadn’t watched the interaction, you might have believed that Sans had only accidentally bumped Red.

“ _watch it,_ ‘nilla.” Red growled out, his attention for _once_ leaving you.

“WE DON’T TAKE THREATS LIGHTLY.” Edge added.

“I’M SO SORRY.” Papyrus sputtered, looking shocked. “HE’S NOT USUALLY LIKE THIS!”

Sans shrugged. “‘t was an accident.” He looked back up at you, and for the first time since you left Sans before dinner, you made eye contact.

He wasn’t even sorry at all! Not for treating you like a child, or upsetting Papyrus, or even for hurting Red!

“Sorry,” You told everybody, setting down your own bowl of ice cream, “I’m tired, I think I’ll go to bed early. Is it alright if I stay in your room, Papyrus?” You turned to said skeleton, “I offered my room to Edge already.”

“.... OF COURSE, LELE.” Papyrus replied.

You could feel the eyes of all the people in the room as you left. You were going to your room, first, to pick out some clothes since you weren’t sure how long you would be bunking with your brother.

To your shock, however, Red was standing outside of your room right as you got there.

How did he…. Was he able to teleport like Sans?

Although you were a little confused, you decided to play it safe and be polite. Sans _did_ just very likely bruise his ribs, after all. He didn’t deserve for you to be rude to him.

He grinned at you, flashing that golden tooth. “heya, sweetheart.”

“Hello, Red. I’m sorry about earlier.” You entered your room, mildly nervous when he followed you in.

You could feel the magic that you _thought_ dissipated when Sans had hurt Red start to make itself known again, more insistent this time.

It was getting heavier… like it was trying to form your body. For _what_ you didn’t know - usually you only formed your body when you were working out so you could see physical evidence of your training. Your cheekbones were flushed, too.

“‘s’ awright, sweetheart, i’ve taken hits way worse back in my ‘verse.” He reassured you, idly lying across your bed, eye lights following you as you moved around the room to gather your things.

Oh, yeah. Edge _had_ said their world was kill or be killed. It sounded terrible, honestly, but your mind hadn’t been very focused then. Red had been getting especially touchy while his brother was talking (... distracted?).

“Your universe sounds scary.” You told him honestly. “I’m not sure someone like me would make it.”

It was true. You were kind of weak compared to your brothers, you knew. You weren’t tall like Papyrus, and you weren’t sturdy like Sans (despite his 1 hp). You were kind of small, and quite shy.

  
Working at Grillby’s had helped you get out of your shell a little, but you couldn’t imagine living in a world like Red and Edge’s. You imagined that you had to be tough there, inside and out.

Probably why Red looked bigger than Sans, and why his teeth were sharp and he dressed intimidatingly.

“i’d take care of ya.” Red promised. You felt a sudden warmth at your back, and turned, only to realize that Red was right _behind you_.

With a squeak, you spun around and jumped back, your spine hitting the wall behind you.

Oh stars… close like this, you could see that Red _was_ quite a bit bigger than Sans. Tall enough, at least, that you had to look up a little to meet his eye lights with your own.

Your attention was drawn downwards when you heard metallic clanking. Red was fiddling with his collar. You suddenly remember what Edge had said about collaring _you._ Your entire face felt like it might explode.

“ya’d be my bro,” Red breathed. His words didn’t match up with his actions. He was slowly leaning forward until your head was pressed against the wall, and your nasal ridges were only inches apart. This… did not feel brotherly. “i’d protect ya, give ya one o’ these…”

He outright gestured to his collar that time.

“they’re common back where i’m from,” His breathing was soft and his words even softer, like he was trying to not scare off a small animal “i noticed nobody else had ‘un so i figure ya dun’ wear ‘em here. they mark territory, nobody’d mess with ya.”

By now, all of your attention was on the collar.

If you were born in Red’s universe, you’d have one of those. Your neck felt too restricted and too cold at the same time, your soul felt like it might burst out of your rib cage.

“‘cause ya’d be _mine…_ ”

_His._

Oh, stars, why did he have to say it like _that?_

“Y-Your brother.” You corrected, feeling his breath fan over you, trying not to breathe too deeply. “I’d be your… _your brother._ ”

Red chuckled, finally stepping back and giving you space. His eye lights were focused on the glowing coming from your rib cage. You were mortified, but it was a little late to try and hide.

Not like you could, anyways, in the darkness of your room.

“yeah.” Red rocked back and forth on his heels, “so just think o’ me as a taller, more handsome sans, huh?” He winked, “another big brother.”

Wordlessly, you nodded, grabbing your things before leaving. The entire time, you could _feel_ yourself glowing, lighting up the room with a light pink. When you were finally clear of the room ( _your_ room), you heaved out a giant sigh of relief.

That had been… _phew_.

You don’t know if you would be able to look Red in the face anymore, after that.

Jeez… and your magic was heavier than ever. It would only take one push to summon your body from the ribs down, such an extravagant show of magic that you rarely ever did so. But the magic just kept rushing around you when Red was near…

Quietly, you placed your things in Papyrus’ room before heading to the bathroom. You still needed to brush your teeth…

It would probably be good to get out the spares, as well, for your guests. Papyrus always kept a few extra under the sink, and you were thankful that it would come in handy, now.

You closed your eyes as you brushed your teeth, leaning over the counter, letting it support your weight so you could finally relax. This entire day had been a nightmare…

… 

A warm body pushed itself up against your backside, arms boxing you in against the counter. You snapped your sockets open, looking into the mirror, only to see Blue staring back. He was doing that grin again.

“Hello!” He greeted in a softer voice. “You Wouldn’t Happen To Have Any Extra Toothbrushes? I Figured You Might Since I Always Stock Our Bathroom Generously Back Home.”

You spat out your toothpaste into the sink in front of you, nearly drooling.

“U-Uh, yeah…” Your over-excited magic liked the contact of his pelvis against yours _far_ too much, and it felt as though you’d been tossed out of the batter with Red and into the frying pan with Blue.

You reached for one of the tooth brushes and handed it to Blue.

You might have been shaking. You couldn’t tell.

He kept you boxed in the entire time he brushed your teeth, only releasing you when he had to spit into the sink.

“Goodnight.” He said, sounding oddly cheeky as he left the bathroom. Left you, still leaning against the counter, rattling, magic glowing like you were a nightlight.

These Sanses sure liked to tease….

As best as you could, you stumbled into Papyrus’ room, seeing him sitting at his desk, looking over a book of some sort. When you entered, he took one look at you and rushed over.

“LELE! YOU LOOK TERRIBLE! ARE YOU SICK?” He fretted, sitting you down on his bed so he could examine you.

“I… I’m fine, just that my magic is acting up.” You told him honestly, leaning into the cool material of his glove. 

“YOUR SCENT IS RATHER STRONG, AS WELL…” Papyrus muttered to himself. “YOU MIGHT BE HAVING YOUR FIRST HEAT.”

_Oh._

That could explain it… you did feel _very_ hot…

But it didn’t seem to come on naturally, like you were taught it would. It only seemed to act up when Red or Blue got too close…

“What should I do?” You whined. You didn’t want to feel like this any longer.

Papyrus looked around the room before responding. “JUST REST AND WE’LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS, HM? COULD BE A FALSE START. SKELETONS GET THOSE SOMETIMES.” He patted your head before lying you down in bed, tucking you in. "DON'T WORRY. IF ANYTHING DOES HAPPEN, IT'S COMPLETELY NATURAL, ALL RIGHT?"

You nodded. Heats were natural... and they weren't supposed to affect family, so you'd be fine even if you _did_ start.

“SANS IS STAYING IN HERE TONIGHT, AS WELL…” He sighed, “JUST SLEEP, WE’LL LIKELY JOIN YOU LATER.”

You nodded sleepily, feeling the day catch up with you… You drifted between the world of the waking and sleep, feeling the bed dip as a large body tucked itself behind you, and later when another, smaller mass settled against your front.

They were blessedly cool against your heated bones, and you were finally able to fall asleep…

++

Sans looked up at you from where he tucked himself against your side. Papyrus’ bed was large, but it wasn’t quite big enough for all three of them to lay down without squeezing in. The two of you were already asleep.

He noticed how your bones were hot, your magic swirling excitedly.

Your scent was strong around the room and he nearly started drooling…

_Were you going into heat? Stars… you smelled so nice. Family isn’t supposed to be attracted to heat scents like this…_

_But family isn’t supposed to have the feelings that Sans does..._

It was going to be difficult to fall asleep.

Sans resolved to breath through his mouth, keeping his hands to himself, turned away from you to prevent any touching. He didn’t want to violate you in your sleep like that…

  
But _stars,_ was it difficult to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter idea was given by one of you guys!! Wanted to see Bradley get all hot and bothered after a night of flirting ;).
> 
> Poor Bradley... baby is innocent. Mostly.
> 
> Don't be afraid to leave a request if you'd like to see something happen!! Again, this fic is literally wish fulfillment, so I might as well fulfill some of y'all as well lol. :D


	4. Working Out and Getting Worked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically the title ;)
> 
> Warning for slight ~NFSW~ content in this chapter. It's Sans' POV, so you can skip that part, if you'd like!

You woke up to the feeling of gentle prodding, a small poking at your ribs. With a whine, you curl into yourself further, pressing your face into the pillows beneath you.

Whoever was trying to wake you wasn’t taking no for an answer, though. The prodding continued for minutes while you squirmed away until you were fed up enough to finally crack an eye socket open to glare at the perpetrator.

The first thing you noticed was that it was still dark outside. The second thing you noticed was Papyrus’ face, filling every inch of your vision. He practically lights up when he notices that you’re awake, smile growing exponentially, almost.

“Lele! You’re Awake, Fantastic!”

You whine again, knowing that know you were _not_ going to be allowed to go back to sleep. “Yeah, what about it?” You tell your brother.

“I Was Thinking About Your Condition Last Night. You Seem To Have Cooled Down Well Enough, But I Thought Some Early Morning Exercise Might Help You Burn Off Any Extra Magic!”

Papyrus looks so proud of himself for coming up with a solution for you that you can’t even be mad at him. Even if he did wake you up before the lights in the underground were even on yet. So, you sit up, watching as he backs away.

“Okay, okay…” Slowly, and without disturbing the still sleeping Sans, you get out of bed. Papyrus watches you as you pick out some clothes from the pile you brought that were suitable for exercise.

“Fantastic! Edge And Blue Are Downstairs Already… They’ll Be Joining Us This Morning! Come Down When You’re Ready!” Papyrus promptly left the room, making sure to shut the door quickly behind you.

Oh.

Of course alternate versions of your brothers would have the same habits… Such as Edge and Blue having an early morning exercise routine like Papyrus…

But you were still horrifically embarrassed from the night before! Edge hadn’t seen you do anything too embarrassing, but remembering the way Blue had pressed against you the night before…. _Ugh._ This was going to be a long session to get through.

In the end, you chose to wear a tank top and some joggers. Snowdin was cold - how could it not be, it was covered in snow - but as a skeleton, you weren’t particularly sensitive to temperature. Touch and intent, yes, but the chill in the air didn’t affect you beyond a slight claminess.

You left your room reluctantly, being gentle with the door as to not wake Sans. You were still upset with him, but the truth was that he didn’t sleep that well, and you weren’t about to ruin a good night of sleep for him, no matter how petty you felt.

He remained asleep, though, and you were able to quietly pad down the stairs. Waiting in the living room were the three more energetic iterations of your brothers.

Edge greeted you with a nod, which you returned. Papyrus waved excitedly, despite having seen you just minutes ago, and dragged you over to the group.

Meanwhile, Blue was staring again. 

This was _not_ going to work if you kept getting distracted by Blue getting distracted by you… especially since you couldn’t look at him without remembering last night, watching him in the reflection of the mirror as he pinned you...

Maybe if you just ignore Blue’s staring…? Papyrus was taking up plenty of your attention, anyway.

Yeah. You’ll just ignore Blue.

You all listen to Papyrus as he outlines what activities you’ll be doing, and in what order.

“FIRST, WE’LL DO A FEW LAPS AROUND THE TOWN, THEN WE’LL STOP BACK BY THE HOUSE FOR SOME WARM-UP STRETCHES, AND AFTER THAT I HAVE STRENGTH TRAINING PLANNED FOR TODAY… HOW DOES THAT SOUND?”

Edge crossed his arms over his chest (still wearing his armor from yesterday… these boys are going to need some new clothes, aren’t they?) before grunting in approval. “SIMILAR TO MY OWN ROUTINE.”

Blue bounced a bit from foot to foot, warming himself up for running. “SOUNDS GOOD!”

Papyrus turned to you, expectant. “AND IS IT GOOD FOR YOU AS WELL, LELE? I CAN TONE IT DOWN IF YOUR STILL NOT FEELING WELL.”

You shook your head as you pulled on your running shoes. “Nah, sounds good.” Papyrus dragged you into his morning training more often than not on your days off, anyways, so you were fairly used to it. You weren’t as strong or as fast as Papyrus by a long stretch, but skeleton’s stamina was notorious. You’d survive.

The four of you made your way outside. It was still dark, of course. You had to be careful not to slip or step on any unstable ice. It could be quite dangerous to take a tumble with Snowdin’s ravines causing unexpected cliffs, not to mention the river that cut through the woods.

There wasn’t anybody else up yet, thankfully, so nobody but Papyrus and the others could see how absolutely out of shape you were.

While Edge kept up a pace of his own, lapping you every couple of minutes, Papyrus and Blue kept up with you.

It was obvious that they weren’t breaking a sweat in their light jog, and that they were only trying to make you feel better, but it helped you keep pace, anyways.

“YOU’RE DOING GREAT, LELE, KEEP IT UP!” Papyrus praised, working his arms animatedly at his sides.

Blue, too, was spitting encouragement at you. It made it all the more difficult to ignore him, since you didn’t want to be rude, so you stuck to small grunts of acknowledgement.

“WONDERFUL PACING, LELE! YOU HAVE GREAT STAMINA!” Right on time, Blue gave you another compliment that had magic you couldn’t afford to expend rushing to your cheekbones.

“Mhm.” You didn’t look at Blue as you shakily responded. Stars, your legs were starting to go numb.

…

Edge was waiting for the three of you to finish your laps by the house. When you got there, he had several bottles of water with him and was already stretching. Blue and Papyrus went ahead and grabbed a bottle each with words of appreciation.

As the last to arrive, there was only one bottle left. Before you could reach for it, Edge grabbed it, uncapped it, and handed it to you.

You watched the tall skeleton with wide, bright eye lights as he offered you the drink.

You must have been staring, because Edge shook it a little in front of your face after you kept looking at him in shock.

“HERE.” He told you, “YOU NEED TO HYDRATE.”

Carefully, you took the drink. “Th-Thanks…” And then proceeded to down half the bottle in your embarrassment. Honestly, it’s like you couldn’t do one thing without making a fool of yourself in front of these alternates…

Edge didn’t seem to mind, though. He stood by you as he took a few sips from his own bottle, looking around the area with sockets narrowed in suspicion.

_It must be weird_ , you thought, _to see a place so familiar yet different._

It occured to you that he might still be on guard, used to the dangers of his own world. It saddened you a little. You didn’t want to see any version of your brother upset or scared like that…

Even if you didn’t really know him…

But he’d talked about collaring you, earlier. And as much as it had flustered you when Red offered, you got the feeling it wasn’t inherently sexual. Edge had wanted to make sure that you were safe and protected.

It helped you put his scariness into perspective - he had to be scary, back in his world. The words _Kill or be Killed_ came back to your mind. In his world, his sharp teeth and dark clothing probably kept him safe.

And, oddly enough, being near him like this made _you_ feel a little safer.

He was… a taller, pointier version of Papyrus. You… You resolved to get to know him better. He didn’t make you feel weird like any of the Sans alternates, he didn’t _do_ anything weird like the Sans alternates… you could do this.

“TIME FOR STRETCHES!” Papyrus cheerfully announced.

This was the part you were good at - your small, lithe body was pretty flexible. It meant you were able to keep up with the others as Papyrus lead you in stretches.

Both Edge and Blue spoke up at times to introduce a new stretch, and, in all, it was pretty laid back.

… Until Papyrus had deemed you all good enough, and moved onto strength training. You didn’t have any equipment at the house - if Papyrus wanted to use a dummy or weights, he went to Undyne’s - but that just meant all the more physical activity.

To put it lightly, to Papyrus, a good starting exercise was a five minute plank.

Like some sort of gods, the others had absolutely no problem keeping up. You, however… were not as strong.

You tapped out in the second minute, falling onto the ground.

Before any of the others could stop what they were doing to check on you, you wheezed out confirmation of your well being.

“I’m okay! I’m… okay…”

“GOOD JOB!” Papyrus commended, not even breaking a sweat from where he was _still_ planking. “YOU GOT A WHOLE THIRTY SECONDS MORE THAN LAST TIME!”

You offered a thumbs up from where you were still face down on the ground. Your outfit was probably soaked down the front from the snow.

Yeah. You were exercising in the snow.

You turned your face to the side, breathing heavily. “Think I’m going to tap out now.”

“IT WAS…” Blue huffed, “WONDERFUL TO HAVE YOU JOIN US!”

“Thanks.” You told him, pushing yourself onto your elbows so you could get up. “I’m going to take a shower then get breakfast started. You want your oatmeal, bro?”

“PER USUAL!” 

“‘Kay,” you wiped the extra snow off your front. Of course it was soaked. “The rest of you good with waffles?”

“SOUNDS LOVELY!” Blue exclaimed.

“I’M WILLING TO GIVE IT A TRY.” Edge said.

“Got it, have a nice session.”

“WE WILL, BROTHER!” Papyrus answered for the group.

With no other reason to be outside, you jogged up the steps of your porch and entered the house. The lights were still off from when you’d left, so you assumed none of the lazier brothers had woken up yet.

Well. Made it easier to navigate the house.

You grabbed a sweater (non-stripped), some jeans and a pair of socks from Papyrus’ room to change into, spotting Sans still sleeping. He’d changed position to where he had bunched up the blankets in a relative ball shape, and was hugging them to his chest. He was also snoring now, just loud enough for you to hear.

A small grin tugged at the corner of your teeth - you couldn’t help but remember all the years of being the little spoon when you were still shorter than Sans. He was the best to take naps with.

Being extremely careful, you tiptoed over and gave him a small smooch on the forehead, a small clink where your teeth met his forehead.

He snuffled.

You had to laugh at that, and you remained in a good mood as you entered the bathroom, placing your neatly folded clean clothes on the counter, then shucking of your wet ones, throwing them by the door.

You took a short moment to observe yourself in the mirror. Round skull, big eye sockets, a permanent grin… yup. Still a skeleton. Still _you_.

Your bones were smooth and ivory. Perfect.

At least, if nothing else, you knew that you made a handsome skeleton.

…

The shower was perfect. You weren’t sensitive to temperature, but Papyrus had done _something_ with the heater so now you could blast scalding hot water for way longer, just hot enough for it to be relaxing.

It meant you didn’t have to worry about leaving enough hot water for your brothers or their duplicates.

You gave your bones a cursory scrub, making sure to rinse out all of your joints. It wasn’t supposed to be a long shower, you still had breakfast to make before the others got back from their routine, so after scrubbing yourself, you shut off the water, slightly forlorn.

The bathroom was still filled with steam as you exited the tub, water dripping from your bones. The annoying thing about being a skeleton was having damp joints after bathing, so you grabbed a towel and started to dry off, starting with your foot, leg propped up on the lid of the unused toilet.

… A knock came at the door.

“Ocupado!” You called out, not bothering to look up. Why should you have?

…. Did you lock the door…?

“... bradley?” You heard Sans.

“Yup!”

“you, uh, you good?” He asked.

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine?” Why was he asking if you were okay?

It was only as the door knob started jiggling that you realized he had been asking if you were _dressed_.

Frantically, you tried to cover yourself, only ending up dropping your towel, cursing.

“Uh, wait, I’m not dressed! Very naked!”

It was too late though, Sans was popping his head in through the door, getting a face full of steam and an eye full of your bones.

“Out!” You shrieked, “Get out!”

But Sans _didn’t_ get out. Instead, he stood in the doorway, letting in a bunch of cold air and the door open for anybody to pass by and see you.

You scrambled for your towel, dread only growing the longer Sans stood there.

Why the _heck_ wasn’t he moving?! You knew for a fact that he was the one who _taught_ you about personal privacy in the first place!

“who’s naked?” A gruff voice called out, sounding curious and tired.

_It was Red!_

No, nope, nu uh, you grabbed your towel and covered as much of your body as you could. Red appeared in the doorway not a moment later, peaking in over Sans’ head curiously. A wide grin split across his face when he saw you.

“ _oh._ hey, sweetheart.”

It seemed that _that_ finally snapped Sans out of his daze, and he was quick to shut out the door, blocking you from your peeping toms.

_Finally._

You quickly flicked the lock on the door, ensuring they couldn’t barge in again.

“s-sorry!” Sans called out from the other side. You only scowled to yourself. 

“Not forgiven!”

“good, ‘cause i ain’t!” Red guffawed. You felt your face go pink at the implication. Damn flirty almost-brother!

You quickly got dressed, barging out of the room angrily. Luckily for them, neither skeleton was still in punching proximity.

_Ugh!_ Stupid Sans, never respecting your boundaries. You were an adult! Not some sort of kid that needed to be supervised in the stars damned _bathroom!_ You can’t _believe_ you’d been nice to him while he was sleeping!

“someone woke up one the wrong side of the bed.” A voice spoke up. You whipped your skull around, only to see Stretch. He was leaning against the railing. He looked like he’d slept in the clothes he was wearing yesterday - which, was probable. 

The new skeletons didn't have a wardrobe of their own… you should bring that up with Papyrus.

The tension bled from your bones.

“Just stupid brothers.” You grouched, pushing past him to the stairs.

Stretch hummed, following you. “whatcha doing?”

With a sigh, you looked over your shoulder. Stretch was right there, hands shoved into his hoodie pocket.

Well. _He_ wasn’t the one being stupid, so you could put aside your anger at the moment.

“Making waffles,” You told him. “Is that okay?”

“sounds yummy.”

…. He watched you as you made a bowl of oatmeal and a batch of waffles, quiet except for when he would make a dumb pun about how baking was _whisk-y business_ or how he wished he was the waffles so he could get _baked_.

He was kind of funny. And he seemed to enjoy it whenever he made you laugh. Your mood quickly improved.

++

Sans… had not expected to get an eye full whenever he walked in on you. He should have clarified, but the shower had been off for a little before he’d walked in, so he _thought_ you were dressed. He really did.

Of course, his dumb body froze when he saw you. You were probably _so angry_ that he’d literally just _stared_ at you, while you were _naked,_ instead of shutting the door like any _normal_ brother would do.

Would you find out that he had very non-brotherly feelings for you?

_shit._

And then there was Red. Dumb, lecherous Red.

Sans was glad he was at least able to slam the door shut whenever that giant bastard walked by.

The taller skeleton tried to complain, too, but Sans was too busy covering his nasal ridge with a hand, and his sternum with the other to pay attention.

_He couldn’t let Red see that he was blushing and glowing like a damn night light._

Even though Red didn’t have any qualms flirting with the universal equivalent of his brother, Sans did not want _anyone_ to know, under _any_ circumstances, his feelings for you. Although they’d only had a few conversations, and all of them short, Sans was sure Red would hold it against him.

So Sans booked it, back into Papyrus’ room, before he could pop a giant blue boner and embarrass himself even further.

…

And there he sat, on his younger brother’s bed, with very _physical_ evidence of his attraction to you, his _other_ younger brother sitting in his shorts, glowing like the mushrooms from waterfall.

… He… he couldn’t jack off in Papyrus’ bed.

That would be a _very_ bad thing to do. In fact, Sans shouldn’t even be _considering_ jacking off in Papyrus’ bed. 

Sans shouldn’t even be considering jacking off to _you._ You were his younger brother, what the hell was _wrong_ with him?!

But the way your bones glistened with water droplets… it was nothing like when you were younger. Sans was at least thankful his attraction to you only began after you became an adult. It kept him from being absolute _filth._

A burning jealousy filled his bones.

_Red_ didn’t have to worry about these things. He’d only known you as you were, an adult, not someone he’d watched grow up, not someone he’d taken care of. Blue didn’t have to worry about it either.

They could look at you like that without it being wrong.

Well, on some level, it was still wrong. You were their brother from another universe.

Shame filled Sans’ soul as he moved off of Papyrus’ bed and onto the floor, gripping his erection through his shorts. He… he wasn’t on Papyrus’ bed, and he wasn’t _technically_ jacking off… he was…

As long as he didn’t touch his dick _directly_ it wasn’t jacking off. He was… adjusting himself…

Sans ‘adjusted himself’ until he creamed his shorts, feeling like absolute garbage.

Fuck… he was going to have to do laundry soon, wasn’t he?

++

Red had slept… _great._

An even wider smile stretched his face when he thought about the night previous. Edge had let Red stay with him in _your room_ on the condition that Red slept on the floor.

Of course he took up the offer, not even caring. He’d slept in worse places.

It gave him an opportunity to not only learn more about whatever universe they’d been dropped into, but about _you_ too. Your room was filled with cutesy shit, lights and pictures of yourself and others strung up on the walls.

It had made him cringe a bit when he saw photos of younger you with your brothers - the stupid ‘classic’ versions of him and his bro. He didn’t like the implications. He looked too much like the softer version of himself.

He remedied it by looking at the photos you had of older you - your graduation, you at the bar. The more recent photos of you seemed to be taken candidly, and were labeled by a familiar handwriting on the back.

Guess Big Bro Sans had a thing for photography. Or at least photographing _you_.

_(The guy was confusing to Red. He seemed a little too protective of you… granted, Red had never had to deal with someone hitting on Papyrus right in front of him. Then again, Papyrus could take care of himself. Either way… Red was going to find a way to have you at least once, no matter what that blue namby pamby skeleton thought)_

You didn’t seem to mind, though. You had all of the photos either framed or pinned on the wall, creating a timeline from your graduation up until now.

He liked the photos, but none compared to what he’d seen earlier.

_You, dressed in only a towel, a brilliant pout and pink flush on your face. The face you’d made when you noticed him looking_.

“fuuuuckk...” Red groaned to himself.

Not really the time to get riled up.

It was hard, though. You were strange and tiny - Red was taller than this pansy universe’s version of himself, but he was still short back in his world. To say that finding an adult monster shorter than himself was a turn on was an understatement.

And you’d gotten so flustered last night, so pink. The brighter your face had gotten, the stronger your scent had, as well. Bubblegum, just like your magic. Sugary, sweet, and oh-so tempting.

You’d been right, last night. A monster like you would have never made it in his universe. Not with your bright magic or scent. You’d have been eaten up either metaphorically or literally by a monster many times larger than yourself.

Well.

Not if you were _his_ brother. All of Snowdin and beyond knew not to fuck with Papyrus and Sans.

Would he have given you a collar? They were a necessity after a monster got out of stripes, to keep others’ hands _off_ of a loved one.

Red had never given _his_ Papyrus one because it would have undermined his strength, but had accepted the one he wore now from his younger bro after one too many scraps with someone who thought they could get one over on the captain of the royal guard by attacking his weaker brother.

It was possible he could have given you a collar, but it was more likely Papyrus would have marked you first.

Still, it was nice to think about you, so tiny and scared, wearing a collar that Red had given you, your little bones rattling as you looked up at him with those wide sockets. Trusting…

Red shook his head a little to dislodge those thoughts.

_not th’ time to be horny, right…_

To avoid working himself back up, Red left your room and went to the kitchen. His bro and the others were all gathered there, chowing down on something you’d made.

(He instantly noticed that Vanilla wasn't there.)

Only the lazy version of his brother - Stretch - was sitting at the table, the rest of you standing in a loose circle, chatting and smiling. Red felt his permanent grin quirk up at the corner when he noticed you were standing next to Papyrus - Edge - looking proud when he complimented you.

Heh.

Maybe you’d let Edge collar you, here, even if it wasn’t traditional. Red knew that it would take a bit for him and his bro to work themselves out of the _danger_ mindset from their universe (they'd even taken shifts sleeping last night... although this house was a mirror image of their own, it was still different. Possibly dangerous), and it was likely that the closer you grew, the more Edge would want your safety guaranteed.

And if you were Edge’s, that would make you _his._

And there would be nothing the stupid, over-protective blue version of himself could do about it.

Red let you serve him a plate, your face flushed, likely remembering this morning and last night.

This was going to be a _good time…_

++

Blue’s world had been rocked in a very real way when he’d been dropped in this universe along with his brother.

Everything was flipped, he’d found. It was disorientating, but it was nothing compared to finding out possibly one of the greatest differences between the universe - _you._

But it wasn’t only you that occupied the back of Blue’s mind; there was a nagging worry about what would happen to his universe without him. What would Alphys think? The queen?

And even to more practical matters, like what if a human passed through? Or what if they were stuck here until yearly taxes to the crown were due? What would happen if someone found their now abandoned house? Would it get sold again? Would squatters move in?

He tried to put those thoughts behind him.

Worrying would do no good, after all, which is why he was putting all of his focus on the things he could change.

He wanted to make sure that his brother was safe - even though Papy was like a froggit in the way that he could adapt to any environment easily. Blue could tell that his brother was nervous, just like himself, but he was doing a good job of hiding his feelings like he normally did.

Blue tried to talk to him last night, in this lazy version of himself’s room. It was filthy, but Blue wasn’t in any position to be picky, and he thought that Papy would find comfort in the mess.

He didn’t want to talk, though. When Blue spoke up, he only received snores in response.

So Blue turned to _you_. You were new, and getting to know you was probably a good idea. Especially since you were supposed to be his brother.

Blue was… slightly ashamed, though. He’d seen how flustered you were last night, and took advantage of that by getting closer to you, pressing up against you in the bathroom…. He could feel magic scalding his face when he recalled how you’d smelled.

But he couldn’t _help himself_ . You were adorable, and you smelled nice, and you _were_ nice… Blue was a little desperate for control after having the carpet ripped out from underneath his feet, and you were _so easy_ to exert control over.

He told himself he wouldn’t do it anymore, after last night. You’d been practically shaking apart in the bathroom, and as fun as it had been to watch you, it wasn’t nice.

And it was wrong…

You were his alternate version’s brother! That made you practically _his_ brother! Like a cousin or something!

But Blue _hadn’t_ grown up with you… You were nothing more than a stranger to him, in reality. A cute stranger who smelled like sugar.

A stranger who had looked positively _delicious_ as you worked out this morning, working up a sweat. 

Your bones were so perfect, exposed in the top you’d been wearing… You looked much better without stripes. He could tell that you were still thinking about the night before, this morning. Your face was pink even when your breathing was even, and you wouldn’t quite make eye contact with him…

Blue wasn’t blind, though.

The lazy, classic version of himself and the crude pointy version of himself were all over you.

He wasn’t quite sure about your relationship with the classic version - was he an overprotective brother? Blue could sympathize with that, at least. Papy was so lazy that he often needed guidance, and Blue often dragged him away from flirtatious monsters who’d saddled up to his brother after he’d had a few drinks…

Red was… very interested in you, though, that much was obvious. Blue pretended not to notice the way he’d touched all up on you last night, and the way you’d been flushed after leaving your room.

So. Blue savored the waffles you’d made as he stood among the others, laughing at _good_ jokes and funny stories.

He decided to play it by ear…

Who knows?

Maybe you’d share Blue’s interest in you. Maybe you’d be interested enough to let Blue do some more exploration of what you looked like, shaking and embarrassed, later. In bed.

Yeah. That'd be nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW!! This was a long chapter ;D
> 
> Again, the prompt for this chapter - Classic walks in on Bradley in the shower - was given by one of you guys! I also put in some Red and Blue POV for y'all ;).
> 
> If you couldn't tell, coming up will be the boys getting some new clothes and Bradley doing some ~laundry~ so if you'd like to see anything after that, leave a request!
> 
> AND BEFORE I FORGET!! WE HAVE FAN ART, I REPEAT, WE HAVE FAN ART!!!
> 
> [Bradley's an adult!](https://aminoapps.com/c/undertale-aus/page/blog/fanart/n731_4kfLuKMvooLZgZrMGdxEGGvK55z8). Courtesy of the AO3 user, [TheNemnems](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNemnems/pseuds/TheNemnems)
> 
> It's lovely! Thank you so much!


	5. Valentine's Day Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't linear, but I wanted to give you guys something for Valentine's Day! It's set about two months after the boys show up, and is completely cannon at that time in the fic, but not right now :D.
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day!

When you woke up, the room was empty.

It was fairly common - it’d been around two months since your brothers’ alternates had shown up at your door, leaving you to accommodate four extra skeletons in your (comparatively) small house.

Since then, rooming arrangements have changed.

Papyrus and Edge shared a room. Papyrus has taken up day shifts for the guard, and Edge, after meeting Undyne, had joined as a sentry himself and was working the new night shifts.

(Undyne was practically kicking herself after realizing that there was nobody guarding Snowdin at night… Some of the dogs had taken up extra hours, as well, to make rounds twenty four hours a day.)

Because of this, they practically weren’t ever in the room together, despite having bonded over new strategies, work out routines, and a general appreciation of Mettaton content. It was rather soul-warming for you to see your brother with his counterpart, talking animatedly. They were like twins, honestly.

You still stayed in the room with them, as well. Since Papyrus slept for a maximum of four hours and Edge was out at night, there was a pretty good system of who got to use the room when. It wasn’t ideal, but it was working for now. 

Red and Sans had moved back into Sans’ room - it had been a unanimous decision by a house vote that the two laziest and messiest monsters bunk together in the stinkiest room. Red didn’t seem to have much of an opinion on it, but you could tell Sans was… not happy. He hasn’t warmed up to Red at all in the two months since he’s been here, not even a little bit.

Blue and Stretch were occupying your room for the time being.

So far, the house had fallen into a tentative calm and routine where nobody was stepping on anybody else’s feet.

It almost felt like the calm before the storm…. Like you were waiting for the other shoe to drop…. But you decided to enjoy it, nonetheless.

Today might be that day of the fated shoe-dropping, however.

_February fourteenth._

Valentine’s Day.

It was a Human Holiday, and February was a Human Month, but you consumed enough Human Media to know about it.

The tradition had started when you were kids - you and your brothers had rummaged around the dump when you were younger far more than any other monsters you knew, besides maybe Gerson or Catty and Bratty.

You knew now that it was because Sans often had trouble trying to take care of two younger brothers, but at the time, the dump had been a magical, if smelly, place. There were surprises around every corner, and the way the crystals above you glittered was surreal…

Because you spent so much time in the dump, you and Papyrus noticed after a while that the trash in the dump changed with the seasons. Not too long after Gyftmas, a flood of cards and red and pink paper hearts would flow into the trash piles. Most were mucky and disgusting, but some survived.

On the cards, you found funny messages, and within were ink stains too smudged to read. You and Papyrus had a ball collecting the legible ones and reading them together, so much that you brought back your hauls for Sans to see. He got a good laugh out of the punny ones, so it became a tradition to go to the dump a few months after Gyftmas and look to see who could find the most cards. Even if you didn’t need to look through garbage anymore.

And _then_ it became a tradition to make your own cards. It was obvious that Valentine’s Day was a day to celebrate love, so Papyrus started making his own Valentine’s cards for you and Sans, and you looked up to him, so you made them, too.

It was after a few _more_ years you realized that Valentine’s wasn’t just a random day, it was fixed in place. February fourteenth. The three of you might even have not known what that meant if it hadn’t been for Mettaton.

Before the famous robot had acquired a Human Calendar and discovered their odd names for months, you might have been still calling them ‘First Month’ and ‘Second Month’ (as named by Asgore, of course). He’d popularized using the human versions a little after you were born, so you and your brothers quickly caught on after finding the date.

And it became a little family tradition.

Make cards, give each other gifts, show that you loved each other.

Even now that you were twenty whole years old, you still made cards and gifts for your brothers. 

You’d even gotten gifts for Edge, Red, Blue and Stretch! You didn’t know if they’d also discovered Valentine’s Day, but you wanted to do something special for them. Since they’d arrived, they’d brought so much more love into the house, so it only seemed appropriate to give them gifts and include them!

Instead of cards, you wrote them each a letter and had gotten them a little treat:

For Papyrus, you wrote about how much you admired him, how he’d always been there for you, how you loved his advice. You wrote about how he’d influenced you to be not only healthier, but also to be more out-going and confident. For a gift, you’d gotten him a tub of his favorite ice cream - vanilla. He said he liked that he could add whatever toppings he liked.

For Edge, you wrote about his bravery. You told him that you’d seen how he’d been changing, slowly, to be less scared and more open. About how proud you were, about how much he’d been inspiring you to get out of your shell, too. You wrote about how he made you feel safe when he was around, and how a compliment from him was like getting a round of applause from a full room. 

It’d taken you awhile to pry from him that he also enjoyed ice cream as much, if not more, than Papyrus. You’d even gotten him to admit his favorite flavor! So, in the freezer, along with the brand new tub of vanilla ice cream was triple chocolate.

You wrote to Stretch about his calmness. He was always able to take away the stress and tension of the day with a gentle noogie to your skull and a laugh. You told him that he was the softest to cuddle, and that he had the _best_ laugh. Out of all the skeletons, he made you feel like you could be yourself and speak your mind no matter what.

Getting a treat for him was easy; he had a sweet tooth the size of Asgore’s trident, so you’d just dropped by Muffet’s in Hotland to get him a pitcher of cider. It hadn’t even been that expensive since you got a discount for having a ‘nice face’. (You think it was because she felt bad that one of her spiders crawled into your socket, sending you into a coughing fit. The spider was fine, if not a bit mortified.)

The Sanses, though, were… harder to write and buy for.

Your feelings for them had been all twisty and uncertain. The more time that passed, the more complicated they grew. At times, Red and Blue acted like older brothers - they picked you up from work, comforted you, teased you about brotherly things and played stupid pranks on you. Red, in particular, liked to antagonize you with puns at Grillby’s, much like Sans.

At others, though, they assaulted you with heated looks, gentle touches, and whispered words of affection.

Sometimes the touches were _not_ so gentle as much as borderline groping, but you haven’t said anything yet. You were… confused?

You kind of liked the attention they gave you….

…. Sans, though, was on a whole new level of confusion.

You felt like he’d only been getting more distant with the passing weeks. He always looked more tired, now, like when you were kids and he was still struggling to pay the bills by himself. 

But when you asked, he just laughed and gave your shoulder a little pat. Sans told you that Red snored, and he couldn’t sleep as well because of it.

Concerned, you’d told him that he could sleep in Papyrus’ room with you if it bothered him that much, but Sans had rejected you with a blue skull and ducked away not a moment later.

Was he… angry at you?

You hoped not, and, if he was, you could at least remedy it today! Valentine’s Day was all about love, so you were going to show Sans that you loved him from the bottom of your soul!

But you were stumped.

When it came to Papyrus, Edge, and Stretch, the words came easily. You could articulate how they made you feel, how happy they made you and how much you loved them.

When you thought of Sans… your body went warm. Your soul felt joy, affection. You remebered all the times he’d sacrificed time for you, how many times he’d indulged in your dumb kid antics.

You thought of falling asleep on the couch with him after movie nights - he had a tendency to cling in his sleep, so you were always wound up with him when you woke. You thought of seeing him at Grillby’s - pretending to be annoyed, but secretly being flattered that he wanted to spend so much time with you.

You - you thought of the way even _his_ touches had felt lingering, nowadays. He wasn’t around often, but when he was, his words always struck a chord with you and his touches were appreciated.

So…

You wrote about how his voice warmed you from the inside out, how he’d always been your hero. You wrote about how happy you felt when _he_ was happy, and how you wished he slept better. You told him you hoped he only ever had good dreams, and that you wouldn’t change a thing about him if you could. (Not even his annoying whoopee cushion obsession). And lastly, you made sure at the end of the letter to specify that you loved him.

He didn’t hear it often enough, honestly.

And, well, as a gift…

It was silly, but ever since you were a kid, you’d made him those little ‘hug’ coupons. He never failed to use them all throughout the year, so you never stopped making them. 

Although… sometimes you thought it was just to play pranks on you. He expected the hugs as soon as he used the coupon, sometimes using them while you were working and he was sat at the bar or when he knew you were on break, making you run all the way out to his sentry station to use up the ‘one free kiss’ coupon.

Per usual, you wrote him out ten ‘one free hug’ coupons, ten ‘one free kiss’ coupons and ten ‘make one fart sound’ coupons. (Those ones always made him laugh).

  
  


...

Writing for Blue was a little easier. You told him that his strength never failed to amaze you, and you encouraged him to rest more. You told him that he was smarter than he lets himself seem, that it was always a treat to sit with him and talk about one of his passions. You told him that you saw the way he cared for his younger brother, and commended him for his dedication.

For his gift, you gave him a few meal vouchers for Grillby’s. He adored the food, you noticed, but he said he ‘felt lazy’ stopping by to sit for awhile and enjoy the ambiance.

But he was always working! So you decided that you were going to give him some of his favorite food _and_ force him to relax!

….

Red?

Ohhh boy, Red.

You blushed the entire time you wrote his letter - you weren’t sure if he would take the message out of context. In his time at your house, he’d shown himself to be capable of more than being horny and handsy.

How to articulate that, though…?

You started by describing some of his positive attributes: he was funny, protective, and honest. You told him that, in a way, you admired how crass he was. He wasn’t afraid to be himself. And… you thanked him for how kind he’d been to you. He made you feel wanted, he made you feel _needed_. You weren’t sure what you meant to him, or what he meant to you, honestly, whether or not he was like a brother to your a good friend, but you wrote that you’d never met anyone else who wore their heart on their sleeve quite like he did.

As for his gift, you just took your knowledge of Sans and tweaked it. 

Sans didn’t like expensive gifts - he prefered for his belongings to be useful. He always told you that he wanted his ‘bang for his buck’. Everything, from the clothes he wore, to his whoopee cushions got their use.

For this reason, you most often got Sans either ketchup or something else you knew he would use for his birthday or for Gyftmas.

Red, you’d noticed, liked mustard. He drank it like Sans drank ketchup.

Grillby hadn’t minded you taking a few bottles, regarding you with little more than a raised brow when you’d asked. He made it in house, and Red was positively a glutton for it.

With that, you’d completed your Valentine’s Day preparations, and had found it to fall asleep the night before.

Now, though, you can finally see the others’ reactions as they read your cards and open your gifts!

You jumped out of bed, uncaring that you were still in your sleep clothes, and gathered up the cards and gifts you’d stashed under Papyrus’ bed (he was too tall to check underneath), running into the hall.

It wasn’t often that you woke up often enough to catch Papyrus before his morning patrol, but you hoped you’d at least be able to catch him before he left the house. You’d left out his letter on the counter just in case last night, but it would still be nice to see his reaction!

However, when you reached the kitchen, only Edge and Stretch were sitting across from each other at the table. They were each nursing some drink that had steam rising from it. Edge looked tired, and was likely just coming home from a shift of his own, while Stretch looked like he’d just woken up.

You knew that, like Sans, he sometimes had difficulty sleeping, so you brushed it off.

“Did he leave already?” You asked the two.

“Just Missed Him.” Edge grunted. “He Seemed Rather Happy To Receive Your Letter, Though. And He Left This For You”

A smile pulled at your permanent grin as you took the card from Edge. It was hand-made, obviously, with lots of care. There were lots of smiley faces and sunglasses doodles. You tucked it into the pocket of your sweat pants, setting it aside for later.

“That’s good, did he find his ice cream?”

“I Believe He Will Be Devouring Half The Tub When He Gets Home.” Edge confirmed.

“Hehe,” You giggled, “I knew it.”

Stretch raised a brow bone. “what’s up with the gifts, honey? it ain’t his birthday, i’d know.”

For a second, you forgot that the others might not celebrate Valentine’s Day.

“It’s a human holiday, Valentine’s Day,” You explained. “To celebrate love and all that jazz, so Sans, Papyrus and I like to celebrate each other. We make cards, write letters and give each other gifts.”

“aw, don’t got any love for ol’ stretch?” The tall skeleton joked. You could tell he wasn’t serious, but it was a good lead into _his_ gift, so you reached into the fridge where you stored the cider, and placed it in front of him. The hoodie-clad skeleton watched it like a hawk.

“is that - “

“Yup” You said gleefully. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Stretch.” As he looked at the glass in shock, you handed him a card of his own.

Instantly, Stretch tore into it, showing an uncharacteristic determination as he skimmed the lines. He looked up at you after he finished reading, a light blush on his cheekbones.

“thanks, honey, this was real _sweet_ of you. kinda feel bad that i didn’t get you anything, though.”

“You’re enough.” You told the skeleton with a little smile, knowing that it would fluster him further.

Stretch chuckled and looked away.

“shucks, lele.”

From the other side of the table, you heard a mug being sat down, and looked to see a slightly disgruntled Edge. He was looking at the other cards and gifts in your hands, a light red over his cheekbones.

“Oh, sorry Edge!” you quickly scrambled to hand him his own letter. “This is for you! And there’s a gift for you in the freezer, right next to Papyrus’!”

Edge cleared his throat and crossed his legs, taking the letter gracefully.

“Thank You…. Brother.” You couldn’t help the large, silly grin that covered your face at that.

Just as carefully as Edge had accepted the letter, he opened it and read it. With every passing moment, his skull grew redder and redder.

When he was finished, he put the paper face down on the table and took in a deep breath, looking like an absolute light bulb.

Without making eye contact, he thanked you.

“That Was… Very Nice. I Wasn’t Aware That I… I… Appreciate You Too, Bradley.”

“It’s no problem! You guys are like family!”

Stretch covered his face with an arm and groaned, now glowing just as brightly as Edge.

“aw, get out of here, kid. don’t smile like that, you’re gonna make me get all mushy.”

When you snickered, Stretch shooed you.

“I mean it, honey, i’m melting over here. go give my bro his letter, he’s gonna love it.”

Practically cackling, you left the kitchen to hunt down the other brothers.

And… exactly as you thought that, you heard the shower start up from upstairs. Okay. Looks like you know where at least _one_ of them is. Not that you’d interrupt them during their shower - you didn’t want a repeat of _that_ fiasco…

First by the stairs when you climbed them was Sans’ room, so you figured you’d knock and see if either Sans or Red was awake at this hour and give them their letters and gifts.

To your surprise, Sans was already awake, and he answered the door on the first knock. No knock knock joke required.

You looked down at him in slight shock.

He looked… disheveled. Tired. Like he hadn’t slept at all.

You felt your soul pang in your chest.

“H-Happy Valentine’s Day!”

Sans blinked, seeming to be in a state of shock of his own. He looked at the papers and items you were carrying, and it looked to click in his head.

“‘s that time of year already, huh….?” He chuckled, scratching at the back of his skull nervously. “happy valentine’s kiddo, heh, love ya.”

“Love you too! Here!” Grinning brightly, you handed Sans his letter. Inside the envelope were the coupons all stapled together. Sans knew the routine by now, and opened it quickly to see the coupons.

“heheh, sweet. you know the drill.” Sans tore off one of the coupons near the back with a devious smile, and handed it to you. It was one of the ‘make one fart sound’ coupons.

You _did_ know the drill. These were usually the coupons Sans used up first.

With an over exaggerated sigh of exasperation, you stuck your magical tongue out and blew a raspberry, drawing it out for at least thirty seconds. But Sans smiled at you the whole time, which made it slightly more bearable.

“stars, kid, you’re gonna steal my title of legendary fart master one of these days….” He laughed, pocketing your note.

You frowned a little as you watched the small movement.

“You’re not going to… read it?”

Sans blinked at you.

“oh, uh…. later. i wanna take my time, huh?” Sans winked at you before looking away. “paps gone already?”

“Yup.” You said.

He huffed, “guess that’s my cue to start gettin’ ready and off to my station, huh?”

“... Yup.” You reiterated.

Your disappointment must have been evident on your face, because Sans cursed under his breath and leaned forward, throwing an arm around your shoulder to tug you closer to him. You reciprocated easily, leaning into him and putting your skull on his shoulder, holding the other letters and gifts to your chest.

“don’t give me that look, kid,” He said, sounding oh-so similar to Stretch in the kitchen. “i love ya, i just gotta take care of bills, ya know?”

“I know.” Your reply was muffled by the fabric of Sans’ jacket. You held onto him a little longer before leaning back again.

“good, we’ll talk tonight, okay?”

“Okay.” You mustered up a small smile for Sans. “Is Red in there? I have a gift for him, too.”

“nah, he went to shower.” Sans told you.

“I’ll find Blue next, then, I guess.” You waved Sans off as you made your way further down the hall to your room. If Red was in the shower, and Blue wasn’t in the kitchen or the living room, then that meant that he must be in your - his - room.

Blue opened up before you could even knock, and grinned brightly when he saw you outside the door.

“LELE! TO WHAT DO I OWE THE PLEASURE OF YOU VISITING ME?”

“Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s, uh, a human holiday, but we celebrate it. You give gifts to your loved ones… so here!” You quickly shoved his note at him. Like with Sans, the gift was in the envelope with the paper, a few vouchers.

Stars quickly replaced Blue’s eye lights as he opened up the letter and read it.

“WOWIE! I FEEL SO APPRECIATED! SO MANY GENUINE COMPLIMENTS!” Blue finally noticed that there was more in the envelope than the letter and his smile grew _exponentially_. “THANK YOU SO MUCH LELE! THIS IS WONDERFUL!” Blue wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in for a surprise hug.

You wrapped your arms around him as best you could while still holding onto your things, smiling.

“It’s no problem! Having you guys here has been great, it seems the least I could do is include you in our family traditions…”

Blue wouldn’t let you leave without another hug and a few more words of thanks, but by then, Red was exiting the shower, so you caught up with him. He was fully dressed, thankfully, if not a little sweaty.

He must have a sweat problem if he’s sweating after showering so soon…

Hm…

“Good morning, Red!” You greeted.

He let out a loud yawn, his maw stretching open widely and showing off all of his sharp teeth. “mornin’, babydoll. whatchu got there?”

“It’s for you,” For the third time, you explained the concept of Valentine’s Day, and offered up your letter and gifts.

Red took the letter first, then the mustard bottles. He quickly realized that they were Grillby’s special recipe, and grinned excitedly.

“damn, kid, in my ‘verse these woulda been worth a whole lotta gold. grillbz izza greedy bastard.”

“Not here, I got them for free.” You insisted. “I think he knows why I wanted them, too. He gave me a weird look.”

“heh, flamin’ douche…” Red chuckled fondly. He looked down on you then, into your eye lights. Your face was instantly hot. “thanks, sweetheart. you’re a good’un, ya know?”

“I know.” You responded cheekily.

Red laughed a little before opening up the note, and you had the pleasure of watching Red’s face light up, just like his brother’s had. By the time Red was finished reading, he was bright enough to light up the entire hallway.

“ _fuck._ ” he whispered quiety, under his breath. You got the feeling he didn’t want you to hear him, because when he looked back up, his expression dropped upon seeing your smug grin.

“this is, uh…” He trailed, “ _nice…_ sweetheart. yer too good.”

While you were having fun, you decided to cut Red some slack and give him time to calm down. So, you started back towards Papyrus’ room, intent on getting ready. You still had to go to work, after all!

“I have work in a few, gotta get ready. See ya, Red!” You called out over your shoulder.

Red grunted loud enough for you to hear, acknowledging your words. After you shut the door, leaving him alone in the hall, though, Red looked back down at the letter in his hand and smiled softly. “see ya, sweetheart.”

++

_stupid, stupid, stupid…!_

Sans mentally berated himself as he thought about your interaction earlier. Not _only_ had completely forgotten Valentine’s Day, but he’d pushed you away for _no reason_ . Maybe other than being flustered - but that wasn’t the point - it was your _face_ that really made him feel guilty.

He hasn’t been spending time with you and Papyrus, he _knows_ , but he’s been _so busy_ . He just wants these other versions of himself _gone._

Did Sans realize the irony of this situation? Yes. He didn’t want to let the others get close to you, but by spending so much time away, he was inadvertently giving them a wide opening to insert themselves into your life.

And he wasn’t an idiot. Sans saw the gifts and envelopes in your hands. You were going around, giving them to the other skeletons, as well.

It made a burning jealousy simmer under his bones.

You were _his_ brother, this was _your_ family tradition…

The others didn’t _deserve_ you. _They_ hadn’t raised you, comforted you, taught you...

Of course, that only made it so much _worse_ that Sans was now coveting your affections, but he’d _worked_ for those affections. Shamefully, Sans thought that he _deserved_ to be loved by you, to have your attention only on him.

After being so devoted, restraining himself for _months_ , didn’t Sans deserve at least a _little_ of your undivided attention? Didn’t he deserve to have his feelings returned?

In his soul, Sans knew the answer.

Of _course_ not. You didn’t owe him anything just because he decided to be a decent brother and not come onto you.

That didn’t stop him from _wanting_ you.

So Sans turned you away, spouting off some excuse about getting ready for work, letting you hand out your gifts to the other _hims_.

He sat in his room and looked through the little coupons you’d cut out for him, your handwriting jumping up at him from the page. Is it bad that he’d already planned when to use each of them? Ever since he ran out of last year’s coupons, he’d been carefully planning under which circumstances he could use them, and convincing himself to spread them out over the year instead of cashing them all in at once.

_(if he got you to kiss him ten times in a row, did that count as making out? no, of course not… the thought was tempting, though)_

It wasn’t too long after that he heard the front door open and shut again - and a quick look at the clock confirmed that it was around time for you to be heading off for your shift at Grillby’s.

Which meant that Sans was once again alone with his alternates.

Sure, he could go off to his own stand, but Papyrus usually didn’t check up on him until midday, meaning that he had a few hours until someone realized he wasn’t doing his job.

Sans decided to sleep it off. Maybe, when he woke up, he wouldn’t be so tempted to head over to grillby’s and pester you with _love_ puns until you convinced Grillby to tell him to knock it off.

… Some arguing from the hall drew his attention, though. Sans easily recognized the voices of his counterparts - Blue was loud and his voice deeper than any of the Papyrus’, while Red’s raspy drawl was unique to himself.

_Ugh._ Couldn’t even escape those two while lost in his own thoughts.

Sans listened with boredom as the two argued over who got the better gift. Sans had seen the mustard bottles in your grip earlier, but he wasn’t exactly sure what Blue had gotten - 

“... VOUCHERS!” He heard Blue exclaim.

And _that_ got Sans’ attention.

He looked back down to the coupons still secure in his grasp. Coupons for hugs and kisses and fart sounds.

Interchangeable with the word coupons, though, was _voucher_.

Did you… give Blue hug and kiss coupons?

Sans quickly shook the thought from his skull - no, no… of course not.

That was _Sans’_ gift. Papyrus didn’t get coupons, _Red_ didn’t get coupons, and he was willing to bet that neither Edge nor Stretch had gotten coupons from you.

… But, then, what could Blue be talking about?

Sans wracked his brain, but he really _couldn’t_ think of any other ‘vouchers’ Blue would be telling Red about, which lead to the settling of something quite _bitter_ in Sans’ would-be stomach. He thought of Blue using one of the coupons, getting you to give him a tight hug, or your bony lips on his cheekbone.

… Before Sans knew it, he was poking his head out of his room, glaring at the other Sanses.

“what are you two on about?”

Both Red and Blue turned to Sans, eerily similar looks of discontent on their faces. It was like looking into the two worst funhouse mirrors of all time.

“bradley gave us some gifts fer sum human holiday, an’ we’re tryna see who got it better.”

Narrowing his sockets, Sans bared his teeth at the two. “yeah? and what did you two get?”

Red held up the mustard, and Blue did the same with a few slips of paper.

Sans scrutinized Blue’s gift, looking the papers over.

… Tension eased from his shoulders. Those were _meal vouchers_ for _Grillby’s_ . Heh. He knew it. He was being silly, there was no way you’d give someone else _Sans’_ gift.

“heh… neither of you.” Sans bragged, “ _i_ got the best gift.”

Red raised a brow bone, undoubtedly sensing the smugness and interpreting it as _‘i got something you didn’t’_.

He’d be correct.

“bold words for sum’on with a brother kink. whatcha got, short stack?”

Sans flinched at Red’s words - the asshole had been holding Sans’ crush over his head ever since he figured it out. Sans wanted to correct him, to say that it was more of a _Bradley_ kink than a brother kink, but he didn’t want to dig himself into a deeper hole, so he held off.

_Instead,_ Sans was going to show Red what he was missing. Despite his flirtations, Red had yet to get even a forehead kiss from you. If he was going to be a smug asshole about not-being-your-technical-brother, why not rub something in his face for once?

So, Sans pulled out his phone. He dialed up your number. By now, you would still be on your way to Grillby’s, so he knew you could jog back over if Sans wanted to use a coupon. Your shift didn’t start for at least another half hour, so Sans felt no guilt in pulling you away from it. The phone rang once, twice…

“... Sans? Is something wrong?” Your voice crackled from the microphone. Sans turned it onto speaker mode for the others’ benefit.

“Nothin’, bro, just wanted to cash in another one o’ those coupons.”

“ _Seriously? Now?_ ” You sighed, “I swear you use those things just to mess with me. I’ll be over in a bit.”

You hung up, and Sans put his phone away.

He held up his own gift, a stack of coupons.

Blue and Red’s eye lights dilated as they read the words on the slips of paper.

“ONE FREE KISS….?” Blue said out loud.

“you sick bastard.” Red growled.

Sans couldn’t respond, as the front door opened, and your voice rang out across the house. “Where are you Sans? I have to go to work.”

“upstairs.” Sans called back, not taking his eyes off the dubstruck monsters in front of him.

_Heh._

When you finally climbed the stairs, you noticed all the Sanses standing together.

“Having a party without me?” You huffed good naturedly.

“sorry, lele, was just debatin’ who had the best valentine’s gift, and i had to make a point.”

You blushed, looking down at the coupon Sans was handing you. You took it and tucked it into your coat pocket.

_You looked so good in your uniform, with that tight black shirt hugging your rib cage…_

Sans tapped his cheekbone expectantly, and you leaned forward to give him a short peck.

Sans relished in the way the _others_ , for once, looked jealous.

“pleasure doin’ business.” Sans rumbled.

“Dork.” You replied. “I’ll be back early, Grillby texted me and told me he’s closing up at noon so he can visit his niece in Hotland.”

“‘kay.”

You waved the three of them off one more time before leaving, calling out a short “Happy Valentine’s Day!” Before you shut the door.

Blue pouted.

“I WANT HUG COUPONS…”

Red only growled, looking upset.

And Sans smiled. This may be the best Valentine’s Day yet, stupid duplicates or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW this was a long chapter, the longest one yet!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the boys' shenanigans ;D.
> 
> Working on another chapter soon! Leave a comment if you want to say something or chat with me :)!!


	6. Red's Hiding Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laundry Day.... doesn't turn out exactly how you expected it would...

It wasn’t long after breakfast that Papyrus and Sans had to head off to work - the latter of which you hadn’t seen since the shower fiasco. You figured he was laying low; your brother was probably just as embarrassed as you. He hadn’t seen you undressed since he was helping you take baths when you were five.

You were still brothers, and he was still older than you, but, well, you weren’t a kid anymore. It was embarrassing to have him walk in on you like that… 

Edge ended up walking right out the door with Papyrus. The two were engaged in a conversation about patrol routes and the effectiveness of spikes in puzzles. It seems they didn’t want to cut their conversation short, so Edge offered to ‘secure the perimeter’ with Papyrus, who couldn’t turn down an offer to ‘hang out with friends’ if it meant he’d miss a Mettaton special.

(Even if he’d much prefer to watch Mettaton  _ and _ hang out with friends)

It wasn’t surprising to you that Papyrus had clicked so easily with the alternate version of himself.

Your little skeleton family was odd in the way that you stuck together. While you all had friends; Sans and Grillby, Papyrus and Undyne, you and… well... most of you had friends…. Either way, all of you really only seemed to connect with each other.

You adored Undyne, and Grillby was like an uncle to you, and your brothers were just as close, if not closer with them, but at the end of the day, it was your brothers who’d raised you. You’d all grown up together. You didn’t function like typical siblings, but that’s because in many ways you’d all had to play different roles throughout your childhood.

It made you think that maybe… you?... could find friendship with some of your brothers’ alternates? It was a shame that you apparently didn’t exist in their universes, you would have been ecstatic to meet another  _ you _ .

Although, maybe it was for the best… it was hard to imagine your three-bedroom house being the new home to nine adults…

But! You didn’t have work today, meaning that you could spend more time with your brothers’ alternates, and maybe even learn more about where they came from!

Blue and Stretch’s universe sounded interesting; you wanted to know the extent of what was switched around. Did their Muffet allow Stretch to keep an open tab, like Grillby and Sans? Or had she retained her fiscal sensibility? Did they have a river person?

Blue helped you wash dishes after everyone was finished eating, handing off the squeaky clean plates for you to dry and put away.

“STARS, IT SURE WOULD HAVE BEEN HELPFUL TO HAVE YOU IN MY UNIVERSE! PAPY NEVER DOES CHORES.”

Stretch, still sitting at the table, perked up when he heard his name and chuckled. Absolutely shameless. i’ll make my bed if i’m feeling  _ chore _ -itable.” 

“ - THEN THERE’S THE MATTER OF HIS TERRIBLE JOKES…” 

With a laugh, you explain, “Well, Sans worked a lot when I was a kid, and Papyrus was pretty adamant about keeping the place clean, so I ended up building good habits with keeping things tidy.”

“ADMIRABLE!”

Blue’s praise brought a small tinge of heat to your cheekbones. “Hehe, thanks…”

“SPEAKING OF ADMIRATION! WHAT’S THE ROYAL GUARD LIKE IN THIS UNIVERSE? I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE THAT UNDYNE IS CAPTAIN HERE…”

“She’s pretty great. She’s nice with the kids and gives the guard a good role model to look up to. Papyrus adores her, she’s his best friend, I think.” Affection swells in your soul as you remember all the times she's stayed over. Arm wrestling, popcorn with chocolate sauce drizzled on top, Sans making hundreds of midnight snacks…

Good times.

“SHE SOUNDS LIKE THE ALPHYS FROM OUR UNIVERSE.” Blue hummed as he drained the sink, allowing the water to filter down into the pipes, finished with washing dishes. You, yourself, put the last of the dishes away at around the same time. “I WONDER… IF THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE COMPLETELY SWAPPED, OR IF THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT STAY THE SAME?”

“Well…. In our universe, I know that it was Alphys that got Undyne interested in anime. Is it the same in yours?”

Blue nearly jumped in excitement, “IT IS! ALPHYS FOUND SOME IN THE DUMP… SHE WAS SO PROUD OF HERSELF FOR FINDING ‘HUMAN HISTORY DOCUMENTARIES’ THAT SHE GAVE THEM ALL TO UNDYNE. SHE DIDN’T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL ALPHYS THEY WEREN’T REAL.”

“Oh, that’s rich.” You snickered. “Alphys pulled the same trick on poor ‘Dyne here, too. But really, I think she just wanted to share her interests with Undyne. Can’t blame her for that.”

“I SUPPOSE I CAN’T.” Your brother’s clone leaned back against the counter, facing you again to talk. His grin was quirked at the edge again, like he found something on your face funny. And you realized… that the kitchen was empty now.

Where had everyone gone…? And when…?

A-And when had you gotten so close to Blue??? It felt like only seconds ago you had been standing at  _ least _ a foot apart, but now you were almost face to face with him???

Blue hadn’t even moved, as far as you knew - he was still leaning up against that counter. Stars. You hoped you didn’t start blushing again like yesterday - that had been a figurative hell for you. Even Papyrus had ended up noticing. You don’t think you could survive it if you started smelling like a bubble gum factory every time one of the alternates spoke to you.

“... LELE?” It was probably your imagination, but you could  _ swear _ you felt Blue’s breath on your face, despite being just a tad too far for that...

“Y… Yes?”

“I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE FOR YESTERDAY. I CORNERED YOU, AND I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW… I’m Sorry For Making You Uncomfortable…?”

You blinked.

_ Uncomfortable? _

Sure, you hadn’t appreciated the way your bones had been buzzing, your magic threatening to overheat and send you spiraling to the floor, but Blue himself…? He’d made you flustered, yes, but not uncomfortable. (Well, not in the sense that he’d creeped you out)

“Oh, well… thanks. Don’t just go around pinning me to counters, though…? I guess, uh…” Should you really tell him…? “I kinda… didn’t  _ not _ enjoy it.”

Blue’s eye lights fizzled into stars at your quiet admission. “REALLY??”

Oh jeez…. You covered your face, feeling it blush now,  _ for sure _ .

“Y-Yeah?”   
  


When you felt breath on your face again, your sockets snapped open,  _ sure _ that you weren’t imagining it. Sure enough, in front of you was Blue. He was looking at you, standing not inches apart, large stars in his sockets.

“THAT’S GOOD TO KNOW ~ “

_ Stars _ , what did you just invite upon yourself…?

Although... The thought of Blue trying to get close to you… didn’t bother you? It actually kind of flattered you. Kind of like how Red’s actions flattered you. They really found you interesting enough to talk to you or pay so much attention to you…?

“... YOU’RE STILL HOLDING THE TOWEL.” Blue told you gently, taking the piece of fabric from you and hanging it on the handle of the oven.

Ah… embarrassing…

“Sorry! I, uh, must have zoned out.”

“IT’S FINE! YOU’LL HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT’S RUNNING AROUND IN YOUR HEAD, THOUGH!” Blue gave you a cheeky wink.

You… didn’t want to tell him you were thinking about him. About how you liked having his attention on you..! That was creepy and obsessive! It would be humiliating!

A few seconds of quickly searching your brain yielded what you had been thinking before all of this, earlier this morning - clothes! Right! The boys were going to need to wear clean clothes!

“It’s laundry day!” You squeaked, “I have to do laundry today! Um, I can wash your clothes…?”

Blue stared at you. He’d stepped away to put the dish towel where it belonged, but he was still only about a foot away. You could  _ feel _ his confusion.

“OH. UM. OKAY? I’D… NEED SPARE CLOTHES?”

You nodded rapidly, speed walking out of the kitchen, bypassing a napping Stretch in the living room. You ran not only to hide your blushing face, but to escape the look Blue was giving you. Ugh, stupid Bradley….

Laundry? Really?

“You can borrow some of Sans’! In fact, um, so can Red… and Stretch…” Edge wasn’t home, but Stretch would need some clean clothes while his were in the wash, too. You’d let him wear Papyrus’, but your older brother was picky about the handling of his clothes, and you didn’t want to alienate him by just handing off his outfits to Stretch.

Which means… well, they won’t fit too well, but you could try and let Stretch wear some of your bigger outfits.

It was just your luck that Red happened to spot you in the upstairs hallway. He was exiting your room again. Did he forget something in there?

The sharp monster jumped when he saw you. Looking slightly… guilty? 

  
  


“uh, hey, sweetheart.” He was sweating now. More than usual, at least...

“... Hey, Red?”

“w-watcha, watcha doin’ here…?” Red was avoiding your eye. His skull was slowly but surely changing to a deep fire engine red. He…. was flustered?

Suspicious.

“Getting some clean clothes for you guys. Also... it’s my house…”

Red nodded exaggeratedly, like he was trying to draw your attention away from something else.

“heheheh, got me there, doll. so, uh, what’s up?”

“I’m doing laundry.” You explain slowly. Behind you, Blue has finally caught up. You give the loud monster a surprised look. He pushed himself up right beside you, nearly touching. He was giving Red an equally suspicious look as you’d just been giving…

What?

Blue drew in a long breath, like he was smelling something. You looked back to Red only to see that the sweating has only increased.

“th-that’s cool. nice of ya, sweetheart, but imma just head on down to grillby’s, ya know, check out the scene…” Sneakily, Red attempted to bypass you while he rambled, but you caught him by the sleeve of his coat.

He  _ did _ realize you were going to have to wash the clothes he was wearing, right…?

“Can you change first? I want to wash to clothes you’re wearing.” You tugged again at the sleeve to emphasize your point.

“YES, RED. CARE TO HAND OVER YOUR JACKET?”

“no can do, baby blue.”

The two engaged in a staring contest, with you as a bystander. Is it just you or are things getting way too tense? You just wanted to wash his jacket so he didn’t have to stay in the same clothes for two days.

Well… maybe you  _ should _ let Blue handle this. You didn’t want to wrestle with Red for his jacket, after all.

“I’m just going to grab the clothes!” You told the feuding monsters, scurrying over to your eldest brother’s room.

The feeling of crackling magic was starting to fill the hall, not to mention that both skeletons had taken on the dead-eyes look that Sans got when he wasn’t happy. What was going on??

It was easy to find two pairs of white shirts and shorts - they were the only things Sans wore. There were plenty more dirty clothes piled up against the wall. Which was odd, considering that Sans usually didn’t put in the effort to tidy his room, instead allowing trash and filth to accumulate on the ground

But… the room was relatively clean. The trash had been taken out and even his  _ tornado _ had been dismantled! THe sheets were  _ on _ the bed! You hadn’t seen Sans’ room like this since Papyrus went on a house-wide deep clean!

A shout from the hall - “DAMN!” - shocked you out of your observation.

What in Asgore’s name??   
  
The door flew open, and in stomped Blue.

“I’M AFRAID TO REPORT THAT THE SUSPECT ESCAPED VIA TELEPORTATION-TRICKERY…” Blue said regretfully.

… While you were still clutching the clothes to your rib cage, soul pounding a mile a minute. The short skeleton seemed to notice a moment later, his expression turning apologetic.

“OH! SORRY FOR SCARING YOU, LELE.”

“It’s… It’s fine…” You wheezed.

“BUT WE CAN’T DO ALL THE LAUNDRY IF RED DOESN’T HAND OVER HIS CLOTHES!” Blue (almost, not quite) pouted. “PLUS…” He scrunched up his eye sockets like Papyrus does when he gets suspicious, “RED SMELLS WEIRD.”

_ That _ got a little laugh out of you.

“Sleeping in the clothes you wore all yesterday will do that to you. You don’t smell that fresh, either. Especially after your workout this morning.”

Blue tinged his namesake at your reminder, looking down at his own outfit, as if realizing for the first time that his shirt was covered in sweat stains at the pits.

“I MEANT THAT HE SMELLS… WELL...” Blue grumbled something you couldn’t hear, picking at his dirty clothes. “HE’S HIDING SOMETHING.”

“That much is obvious.” You told the other, “but we’ll get it out of him eventually. Either way, we have a good ton of dirty clothes courtesy of Sans to wash first.” You handed him one of the clean outfits, “here, change into this. I’ll get the first load started.”

You tried to hold all of Sans’ dirty clothes in one arm, with Red’s outfit in the other, but it was awkward.

“Change in here and bring your clothes to the laundry room!” You called out over your shoulder.

Blue huffed and looked down at the clothes in his hands.

… He was going to find out what Red was hiding. After all… he had something… that smelled like  _ you _ .

``

As it was, Sans dirty clothes made up a load by themselves, so you ended up running those first. You set the clean clothes on top of the washer for Red when he felt like cooperating later before heading to your room to gather your own dirty clothes along with something that  _ might _ fit Stretch.

When you got to your room, though, something stuck out to you…

Your sock drawer was open…

It was strange because you didn’t usually go into that drawer other than, well,  _ socks _ . But you’d gotten everything you’d needed last night. So why was it open…. Did you forget to close it?

_ That _ would be embarrassing. Other than socks you kept your, uh,  _ unmentionables _ in there.

Skeletons didn’t  _ need _ underwear, but that didn’t stop lacy little things from having an aesthetic appeal. Your brothers didn’t know about your small collection of undergarments - why would they need to? - they were part of your private life.

Besides, you hardly ever wore them. Again, you didn’t  _ need _ to. But you… looked good in them? And you liked to think you’d find a monster who’d appreciate the way you looked in them one day…

Oh jeez. What if Edge or Red had seen?!?!

Oh no… Is that why Red seemed so flustered earlier? Had he seen the open drawer and taken a peak?

_ Ugh. _

You should apologize to him for being so careless… but at the same time.. You didn’t want to ask him if he’d seen your underwear… besides, there’s always the chance that he  _ didn’t _ and you’d just be admitting to having them…

Ahh…. maybe you should just pretend nothing ever happened. Quietly, you shut the drawer, not bothering to look inside.

You needed clothes for Stretch, right, clothes for Stretch… you were going to have to visit the capitol. Not only did Red and Blue need clothes outside of Sans’, but Edge and Stretch didn’t even having anything in the house they could wear that would even  _ fit  _ them.

Did your family have the money for new wardrobes? Sans was pretty good with saving, and you had some left over money since you only had to help with a few utilities...

Hm…

In the end, you picked out some sweat pants and a hoodie that were too big for you, but definitely too small for Stretch. He’d look a little silly for the meanwhile, but his clothes would be ready in a few hours, so you were sure he wouldn’t mind that much. 

Outside of your room, Blue was waiting.

You almost mistook him as Sans, though. He looked so much like your older brother when wearing his clothes… just a little bit shorter. Same skull shape, same colored bones, same teeth…

It hit you again that he was an  _ alternate version _ of Sans.

Weird.

In his hands were his dirty clothes, but you couldn't help but notice…

“IS SOMETHING WRONG?” Blue asked. You were staring at his neck.

Where he was still wearing his bandanna.

“Uh, can you take off your bandanna, too? I’m sure it needs to be washed.”

Immediately, Blue’s hands came up to grasp the offending article of clothing.

“UM! ACTUALLY, I DO NOT THINK MY BANDANNA NEEDS TO BE WASHED! SO! WE CAN BRING STRETCH HIS CLOTHES - “ The small monster began to speak, attempting to dodge your request.

“Blue, you’ve been wearing it for two days. You even worked out in it this morning… it needs to be washed.” Your voice was firm as you told Blue this, crossing your arms over your chest.

“THAT’S…” Blue looked off to the side like he expected to see a note-card with what he should saw on it. “NOT TRUE! NOPE!”

“ _ Blue. _ ” Was this going to be another deal like with Sans in his jacket? Or Red and  _ his _ clothes? Do all Sanses have something against washing their clothes?

“... LELE?”

“Blue.”

“LELE.”

“... Your bandanna needs to be washed. It’s dirty.”

“... NO.”

“ _ Yes. _ ”

“SHOULDN’T YOU BE MORE WORRIED ABOUT RED???” you gave Blue the stink eye as you march past him down the stairs. Fine. He wins  _ this _ time, but you’re getting that bandanna whether or not he likes it.

_ Today. _

After you take care of Red and Stretch.

Blue breathed a sigh of relief, thinking you’ve given up, and followed you down the stairs to where Stretch had turned on the TV and was now mindlessly flipping through channels.

“I’m doing laundry.” you told him in a no-nonsense tone. You were getting his clothes.

“kay.”

“I brought you some clothes to wear while I wash yours.”

Stretch looked at the bundle in your arms. He looked back to the TV. After a few moments, he paused what he was watching and looked back to you, holding his arms out, making a ‘gimme’ motion with his hands.

You complied.

“kay. i just leave these in the laundry room?” He asked, pointing to what he was currently wearing.

“... Yes?”

Stretch  _ stretched _ before standing up, taking the clothes upstairs to change without complaint.

That was… easier than you thought it would be? What with Blue and Red giving you such a hard time.

“NOW WHAT? SHOULD WE FIND RED?” 

Before you could respond, a low chuckle resounded throughout the living room.

The two of you turned to see Red leaning up against the wall. He was giving Blue a testy look.

“like you could catch me, blue boy.”

Blue sputtered for a moment before regaining his confidence, “STOP BEING A COWARD AND LET US WASH YOUR CLOTHES!”   
  


“says th’ one who won’t hand over his damn bandanna.” Had Red been listening to you?

“THAT’S DIFFERENT! YOU’RE HIDING SOMETHING!”

Red looked off to the side nervously. You just barely noticed how one of his hands slipped into his jacket pocket.

Did he really have something…?

“‘m not.”

“ARE TOO!”

“am  _ not _ , have you been listening to me, brat?”

Blue gasped at the name calling, his face lighting up in anger. “OH YEAH? THEN EMPTY YOUR POCKETS… RED… RED  _ MEANIE! _ ”

Red  _ Meanie _ snorted, “holy fuck, you suck at calling people names!”

“SILENCE! HAND OVER YOUR JACKET!”

Red stopped laughing to scowl. He clutched his jacket closer to himself.

“no way in hell, blue bud.”

“Will the two of you  _ stop it! _ ” You groaned, having had enough of their stupid fighting. They were arguing like  _ children _ . For guys that were supposed to be versions of your  _ oldest _ brother, they sure were immature. Actually, thinking back on Sans’ personality…. It makes sense…

“Blue.” You said, holding out one of your hands. “Bandanna, now.” You turned to Red, next. “Red, Jacket,” you held out your other hand.

Each skeleton looked at you like a gyftrot caught rifling through garbage.

Blue takes a step back. “I’M SORRY, LELE, BUT THIS IS MY LUCKY BANDANNA. I SIMPLY CANNOT WASH IT, OTHERWISE ALL THE LUCK WILL WASH AWAY, TOO!”

“ditto.” Red says, “all my cool is stored in this jacket, n’ i don’t wantcha ta wash it all away.”

“ALL OF YOUR  _ SECRETS, _ TOO.” Blue accuses.

“yeah, those too.” Red admits, not even bothering to act ashamed.

“I’m sure a little detergent won’t wash away your luck, Blue.” You reassured. “In fact, you might be even  _ more _ lucky if you smelled nicer, don’t you think?” Turning an eye to Red, you bit out another line to him, far less reassuring, knowing that Red was only attempting to stall you like Sans would. Your eldest brother didn’t like parting with his jacket, either. “And you’ll be  _ much _ cooler without those mustard stains.”

“AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE YOU….” Blue sighed, clutching his bandana, “I WILL NOT TAKE THAT CHANCE! WHO KNOWS! IF YOU WASH IT, WE MIGHT ALL CATCH A HORRIFIC ILLNESS! OR PIANOS MIGHT FALL ON ALL OF OUR HEADS. HUMAN CARTOONS ARE VERY MORBID AND CREATIVE WHEN IT COMES TO BAD LUCK.”

You’re pretty sure you’re  _ less _ likely to get sick by washing clothes…

“Don’t make me take the bandanna myself.” You warned. You  _ were _ proficient at hunting down avoidant Sanses and forcing them to give up the goods.

Red perked up. His nervousness turned to smug confidence.

“gonna undress me? heheh, kinky, but alright…”

That is…  _ not _ what you were insinuating…

Red was giving you a heated look. You were starting to  _ feel _ heated.

_ Asgore _ how had this turned from laundry into flirting?? How did these monsters have the ability to fluster you no matter what??

“oh, shy, sweetheart?” Red rumbled. He could tell  _ exactly _ what he was doing to you. Damn him! “no need, howsabout we take it slowly, little striptease, yeah?”

By this point, the edgy monster was taking steps towards you, and you were having to take steps back to maintain a respectable distance between you. Did no Sans know the meaning of personal space?!

It was just your luck, again, that you would bump into Blue, who’d been attempting to make a tactical retreat.

You stumbled, knocking him over since he was shorter than you. You fell back onto him, your legs kicking out and tripping Red, who fell on top of you. The three of you landed in a painful pile with you in the middle.

From under you, Blue’s arms wrapped around you.

“YOU MAY HAVE CAPTURED ME FOR NOW, BUT YOU ARE NOT GETTING MY BANDANNA!” He said. Oh, so he was trapping your arms so you wouldn’t be able to steal his bandanna??

_ That’s _ what he was worried about?? 

Red pushed himself up into a position that was nearly  _straddling_ you. How in Toriel’s name did you get into this situation??

Your pelvis was too closely aligned with Blue and Red - and all the struggling was resulting in some suggestive grinding. You tried to refocus your magic, but it kept swirling downwards - ! Not to mention the color that was surely lighting up your face by now.

To your surprise, Red made a few purposeful grinds downward. He was eyeing you with bright eye lights.

“come here often?” He joked.

“G-Get off!”

“gotta promise ya won’t try an’ come after me, huh?” Red said.

“YES! WE’LL RELEASE YOU IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO BOTHER US ABOUT OUR LAUNDRY!” Blue confirmed.

“Since when were you two on the same team???”

“sanses think alike, sweetheart.”

“YES, THE MAGNIFICENT SANS IS A MASTER OF TACTICAL ADVANTAGES!”

…

A third magical presence joined the room, weighing down the atmosphere significantly.

It felt like you had a brick sitting low in your stomach.

_ Sans _ .

“what’s this i hear about sanses?” He said casually, wandering into the living room.

The three of you looked to the side, frozen.

Sans was looking down at where you were tangled, dead-eyed. A bottle of ketchup fell to the floor. You could imagine why; the three of you must make an interesting picture. Blue, holding you to his chest, arms trapped, with Red straddling you.

Could this day get any weirder…?

“... lele?” He said quietly, his emotions indiscernible.

“H-Help?”

The change in Sans was immediate. His left eye flared blue, throwing Red off of you with Blue magic. The taller skeleton made a noise of anger, but you were ripped from Blue’s arms and quickly placed next to Sans, who grabbed you as soon as you were within range and pulled you to his front, forcing your skull down into his neck so he could cradle you protectively.

“ w h a t ‘ s g o i n g o n h e r e ? “

“I’m trying to do laundry.” You attempted to explain as best you could with your face covered by Sans’ jacket. Yikes, he smelled a little, too. Maybe he needed to have his jacket washed as well.

Your back was a little uncomfortable… Sans was a little bit shorter than you, so being in this position required you to hunch a little.

“d-don’t look at me!” Red growled, “blue was th’ one holdin’ him down! i just tripped!”

“LIAR! HE WAS FULLY COMPLIANT!”

You wiggled out of Sans’ hold so you could stand behind him, looking at the skeletons who had trapped you with a pout. You’d thought Blue was on  _ your _ side!

“ i s t h a t t r u e , l e l e ? “

“Well,” You were going to try to explain more, but as both Blue and Red pushed themselves out, you noticed something...

Red was particularly disheveled from having been thrown, and there was something pink poking out from one of his pockets. What was that..?

As the sharp-toothed monster brushed himself off, it fell to the ground

_ Oh. _

_ Oh stars. _

It was your  _ underwear _ .

What the heck?!

_ Of course _ as the brightest color in the room, it had the attention of everyone in the room. For awhile, everyone only stared.

Then, Red tried to swoop down to reclaim it, but it was quickly lit up in blue magic and brought over to you and Sans.

_ What was he doing?!? _

Sans grabbed the fabric and studied it.

“who’s is this?” He asked, confused. He’d dropped the scary voice in favor of mild uncertainty. His skull tinted a little blue as he turned them over in his grip, studying the lacy design.

Behind him, you were quietly dying.

This was the worst possible timeline.

“I KNEW IT!” Blue cried, pointing an accusatory finger at Red. “YOU… YOU PERVERT!”

… Red, who was a sweating mess, his skull redder than a firetruck.

“pft, i, fuck… i… found ‘em?” Red trailed on a high note. “... in bradley’s room….?” He added at Blue’s stare of disapproval.

Sans dropped the panties like they were hot coals.

“b… bradley…?” Slowly, your brother’s skull turned until he was looking at you. Your skulls were probably both as luminescent at this point as you looked at each other.

With a dying wheeze, you hid your face in his neck, hands on his shoulders. You couldn’t let him see your face! Oh my Asgore! You could feel his bones trembling, probably from embarrassment.

You were never going to live this down,  _ never _ .

“They’re mine.” You whispered.

“.... oh.”

Red cleared his throat. “so, um, laundry?”

“DON’T THINK YOU’RE GETTING OUT OF THIS! YOU’RE BANNED FROM BRADLEY’S ROOM!” Blue declared.

“fuck i am.” Red growled, “it ain’t yer fuckin’ house - “

“no.” Sans interrupted. He was back to being angry. “but it  _ is _ mine. stay out of lele’s room.”

“th’ hell?? where am i supposed to sleep then? ‘n th’ shitty fuckin’ couch?”   
  


“YOU DESERVE IT AFTER TODAY.” Blue sniffed.

“stay in my room.” Sans decided. 

“BUT MY BROTHER AND I HAVE BEEN STAYING THERE.” Blue interjected.

Him and Stretch? Well, at least that explains why Sans’ room was so clean…

“you can take lele’s room.”

“but boss - “ Red’s voice was anxious. Probably didn’t want to explain to Edge how he got them kicked into Sans’ room.

“he’ll have to deal with it.” Sans hissed sharply, “if you care so much, then clean it. you’re not preying on my brother, shithead.”

“‘prey’ seems a lil’ strong, don’t it…?” Red whined.

Sans ignored him and turned to you, grabbing your wrists and forcing you to show him your face.

He was still a little blue, and wouldn’t look you in the eye lights, but he didn’t seem to be disgusted with you.

“sorry, lele, this is all my fault.”

You sniffled.

“N-No, I’m the one who bought the stupid things.” You moped.

“th-they’re not  _ s-stupid _ …” Sans cringed at himself, hating how he sounded. How was he supposed to tell you that he could hardly stop himself from fantasizing about how you would look in them, laid out on his bed, ecto-flesh summoned for him to run his hands over…? “besides, i’m the one who brought those guys here.”

You didn’t say anything, only letting Sans’ words fall flat. You were in no mood for conversation.

“hey, cheer up bud, go enjoy your day off. i’ll do the laundry.” Sans offered softly.

You sniffled again, feeling tears prick at the corner of your eye sockets. “Okay…” you mumbled.

Sans sent you off to Papyrus room while Sans and Red stood quiet and regretful in the living room, not wanting to have made you cry.

… None of them noticed how Sans pocketed your underwear before turning to them sternly

“so, gonna give up being stubborn?”

… It wasn’t too hard to convince the two to give up their articles of clothing.

That night, you didn’t eat dinner with the rest of the house. How were you ever supposed to show your face to them again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I got sick last week! But I'm back!
> 
> And for the next chapter I'm planning to have Bradley take the boys clothing shopping ~~> Leave a request if you have any ideas for what Bradley or the boys should do!


	7. Shopping Trip PT. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Had to split this into two <3
> 
> This part is mostly set-up but I hope you enjoy it!

When Papyrus got home that night, you made up some excuse as to why you were hiding away, not wanting to tell him what happened. He didn’t seem to buy it, but didn’t bother you about it anymore.

You also told him that you were thinking of taking the others for new clothes the next day before you had to get back to work. Thinking on it now, you’d rather not spend a day with Red and Blue, but you weren’t about to deprive them of basic monster necessities because you were embarrassed.

(... And upset. Red had to have gotten your clothing from _somewhere_. On purpose.)

But having Edge and Stretch present should help to balance things out. You figured Blue wouldn’t try anything with his own younger brother there, and the same could be said for Red.

It had seemed like a good idea last night.

Now, in the ‘morning light’ of the Underground, you were having your doubts. You couldn’t hide away _forever_ , but you could at least try, right? You heard Papyrus shuffling around, already awake and tried to stay as still as possible to feign sleep.

… That idea was dashed when Papyrus shook you awake, mistaking your stillness for sleep. As was intended. You should have known he wouldn’t let a sleeping skeleton lay.

“LELE! RISE AND SHINE, BROTHER! WE HAVE SHOPPING TO DO TODAY!” He announced, ripping the blankets from your body. You whined in response, trying to shove your face into your pillow.

There was a twin sound of discontentment from beside you, and somewhere in the back of your head you registered that Sans must have joined the two of you sometime late last night. The two of you curled towards the center of the bed, sleepily nudging up against each other for shelter from the evil blanket-stealer.

“I change my mind.” You whined, “No shopping. Only sleep.”

“hmm” Sans groaned in agreement. His subtle snores still leaving him clued you into the fact that he was still half-asleep. Something rare for your insomniac brother. “... five more minutes…”

Papyrus only tsked at the two of you.

“AN EARLY START IS ESSENTIAL! IF WE ARE TO VISIT THE CAPITOL AND BE BACK IN TIME FOR DINNER, WE MUST LEAVE SOON!”

What your brother was implying finally reached you, causing you to snap your eye sockets wide open.

“We?” You asked, an edge of confusion in your voice. Your question was interrupted by a yawn that forced its way out of your mouth.

Papyrus chuckled triumphantly as you finally sat up, rubbing your sockets with the back of your bony hands. Subconscious Sans must have been missing your body heat, because he circled his arms around your waist and nuzzled against your hip with a small snore-snort. You idly patted him on the skull as you looked over at your younger-older brother.

“YES! I ASKED UNDYNE TO GIVE US THE DAY OFF FROM SENTRY DUTY FOR EMERGENCY FAMILY CIRCUMSTANCES! AKA, SHOPPING!” The tall skeleton did jazz hands. “SO WE CAN ALL GO TOGETHER!”

You blinked a few times.

One moment passed, then two…

“All of us?!” You exclaimed. That was… all seven skeletons (including you) in one store?? With that many travelers, you wouldn't even be allowed to take the River Person’s ferry. You’d have to walk. No wonder he wanted you to get up early.

It put a dent in the schedule you’d been trying to make, but… It was kind of a relief. Papyrus was your hero, you’d feel a lot more comfortable with him there.

With a sigh, you untangled Sans’ arms from your waist and slipped off the bed to get some of your clothes from Papyrus’ closet. The sight of his outfits hung up reminded you of something.

“Hey, Paps. I washed the others’ clothes yesterday, but Edge wasn’t here so I couldn’t wash his.” You mentioned.

“THAT’S OF NO CONCERN FOR PROBLEM SOLVER PAPYRUS!” Papyrus explained, “I SIMPLY LET EDGY-ME BORROW SOME OF MY CLOTHES. GENIUS!”

Your jaw fell open. Papyrus? Sharing clothes?

Your brother had some quirks - he didn’t like other people touching or messing with his stuff. He was pretty particular, always had been. You and Sans didn’t mind - it wasn’t that hard to respect his things and be decent. As time went on, you noticed that Papyrus was a little less picky, but his clothes were still off limits. He did his own laundry separately and everything.

But he let Edge borrow some clothes?

“I, uh, wow.” You said. “That’s really great, Papyrus.”

“NYEH HEH! I KNOW!” With that, he left the room to allow you some privacy. Sans was still snoring away on the bed, so you quickly got dressed and took your pajamas to the laundry room to drop them off in the hamper when you were finished.

“Hey!” you called out, hoping Papyrus would hear you. “Did you want to wake Sans up or should I?”

Papyrus popped his head out from the kitchen with an annoyed look on his skull. “THAT LAZYBONES IS STILL SNORING AWAY?? WORRY NOT, LELE. LET THE MASTER HANDLE THIS!” Papyrus bounded up the stairs, patting you on the shoulder as he passed, and walked into his room.

You could hear lots of shouting. With a cringe you went downstairs where the rest of the house was sitting and standing around. Some (namely, Red and Stretch) looked like death brought to life while Edge and Blue were sharing a conversation over coffee.

They were all wearing their original clothes, besides Edge, who’d borrowed a red sweater and some of Papyrus' absurdly ripped black skinny jeans. Apparently, the more holes there were in the fabric, the ‘cooler’ they were. He still had his own scarf and boots on, though.

“So I guess we’re _all_ shopping today?” You announced.

“yup.” Stretched popped the p. “so nice of sans to ‘volunteer’ to pay.” He winked at you with a sly grin. It almost offset the heavy rings under his sockets.

A grin of your own slid across your teeth. “Is that what Papyrus told you?” You laughed.

“I DON’T LIKE THE IDEA OF BEING INDEBTED TO YOUR OAF OF A BROTHER…” Edge admitted, “BUT THERE’S NOT MUCH OPTION FOR US. OUR GOLD IS ALL BACK IN OUR WORLD.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” You told him. “I just think it’s _quite_ fitting for Sans to be the one to pay for this whole mess. I still don’t know what he did to get you all here.”

“IT’S NOT WORTH TRYING TO UNDERSTAND.” Blue reassured you with a grin. The brightness of it kind of unnerved you. Was he just going to pretend yesterday never happened?

… Well. It’s not like you really wanted to talk about it. Maybe you _could_ just… forget?

Ugh. But it was going to be hard to not remember the sight of your underwear falling out of Red’s pocket or your _own older brother_ picking it up and scrutinizing it.

Papyrus burst into the room next, with Sans slung over his shoulder.

“ALRIGHT THEN! WE’LL GRAB SOME CINIBUNNIES FROM THE LOCAL SHOP THEN HEAD OUT!”.... Sans let out another snore.

He was still sleeping? Must have tired himself out pretty badly last night… what was he even doing?

Nonetheless, the seven of you made a quick trip to the shop then set out on what was sure to be a rather long journey.

++

You kept up with Papyrus’ long strides while you were still finishing up your cinnamon treat, along with Edge who was easily walking along. Sans was still slung up over Papyrus’ shoulder, drifting in and out of consciousness.

Blue walked slightly behind you, going at an impressive pace, but still lagging due to his shorter legs. Stretch and Red were at the end of your little train, dragging their feet. Probably not happy about being forced to walk so far. Luckily, inside the capitol there were trolleys your group could take, but until then it was just going to be… several hours of walking…

It was half an hour into the trip that you ended up slowing down, falling behind until you were in some weird in-between behind Blue and in front of Stretch and Red.

Little did you know that a certain two skeletons were just _waiting_ for the opportunity to pounce.

It started with Red picking up his pace, making louder steps as he actually picked up his feet. Then it was Blue whistling casually as he _oh so naturally_ slowed down. It wasn’t long until you were _sans_ wiched between the two. Blue on your left, Red on your right.

“WATERFALL IS SO PRETTY, ISN’T IT?” Blue asked innocently.

“Uh, y-yeah.” You mumbled, looking down. Even though the others were only a few feet away, the darkness and silence of Waterfall made it feel like you were isolated with the two. In a group setting, it was easier to pretend what had happened hadn’t.

But with Red standing so close, and Blue on your other side… it was all coming back. How they’d had you pinned between them… and to your shame, how it had made you feel to be between them.

You could almost _hear_ Blue’s discontentment with your response.

“... ARE YOU OKAY?” He asked. “I’M SORRY FOR HOW I ACTED YESTERDAY…”

Why did this sound so familiar? Oh, right. Because that wasn’t the first time he’d literally pinned you before. How did you keep ending up in these situations with him? It’s only been two days!

Then again… you did tell him… you hadn’t quite hated it….

Red on the other hand… Just… Just stole your private things!

“I-It would be nice,” You said quietly to the blue skeleton, “if you could respect my personal space from now on.”

Blue bit his bony bottom lip with a small pout. “YEAH. OKAY.”

“And…” You turned to Red this time, who was looking up at the ceiling with a small scowl. “Um,”

“yeah.” Red said swiftly, cutting you off. His scowl deepened a little, but he didn’t move his gaze. “classic bitched at me ‘nough yesterday, i get it, i’ll stay away from you.”

You frowned at the taller skeleton.

“I was going to ask if you could not go digging around in my drawers.” You huffed. “... Personal space would be nice, too, but Sans doesn’t control me.”

The sharp-toothed monster snapped his head in your direction with a look of shock. “y’ain’t gonna tell me ta fuck off?” 

You looked away, not wanting to meet his intense look.

“L-Like I said. Respect my privacy and we’re fine. We’re still getting used to living together, so I guess… we’re all going to make mistakes. Some more than others,” You paused pointedly to shoot a quick glance at Red, “but I’m an adult, so I get to decide who gets to be around me and who doesn’t.”

A grin split across Red’s face, a little too smug for your liking, so you were quick to speak up again before he could get any funny ideas.

“What you did was still wrong, though.” You reminded him.

“ya want an apology?” The pointy monster asked eagerly. A little… _too_ eager in your opinion. You squinted your sockets at him in suspicion. What was he up to?

“.... I guess? It would be nice to hear you say you’re sorry...” you replied after a while, not having been able to determine what exactly he was getting at.

You stumbled as the three of you walked when you saw _drool_ , a thin line of red saliva, drip from the corner of his grin. “oh , sweetheart, i’m real sorry.”

At your dubious look, his grin only grew.

“i could get on m’ knees for you, grovel, wouldja believe me then?” he let out a low, dazed laugh, eye lights fuzzy.

Blue was quick to grab your hand up and pull you against his rib cage, away from Red.

“YOU’RE AN ABSOLUTE ANIMAL, RED!” He told the other off, keeping you close to himself. You struggled in Blue’s hold, not quite comfortable being in his arms since the last time it was under… awkward circumstances.

“Th-Thanks,” you stuttered, “But I’m good now…” You patted the skeleton’s arm to show him that you were ready to be released, but he didn’t let up.

“Blue?”

“OH!” Blue startled. He seemed to snap out of something and notice that the three of you had stopped walking. Edge, Papyrus, and Sans were so far ahead that they didn’t even notice, but Stretch was quite a bit behind them and taking glances at the three of you periodically. “APOLOGIES.”

Blue squeezed you again, a bit more intentionally, before letting go.

You noticed Stretch stop walking, waiting for you guys. You looked at him, and what he saw must have been _something_ , because he started walking back towards your little group.

“hypocrite.” Red grunted under his breath at his blue counterpart.

“yo, you mind if i borrow bradley for a bit?” Stretch asked when he got closer. He stopped in front of your group of shorties, hands in his hoodie pockets.

“OH! UM…. NOT AT ALL, PAPY.” Blue responded reluctantly.

Red was silent as Stretch nodded his head at you and started walking ahead. You followed him with a breath of relief, leaving the other two behind.

“Thanks.” You said.

“no problemo, looked like you were having a tough time.” The lazy skeleton replied. “sans - uh, blue, i mean - he can be a little _enthusiastic_ with new people.” He shrugged.

A nervous laugh slipped past your teeth.

“Understatement of the century…” Before you realized what you’d blurted, you were already looking at Stretch with wide and apologetic sockets. “I mean, um,.... Sorry.”

Stretch huffed good naturedly and rubbed the top of your skull roughly like he was trying to ruffle your hair. It drew a sharp string of giggles out of you at the suddenness, and you batted his hand away.

“nah , i get it. he’s been a little rough with you, more than usual.” Stretch hummed. “he’s a good guy, but, uh…. red…” Stretch cringed a little. “.... he kinda seems like….” The tall skeleton waved his hand around and made a non-commital noise. “ya know?”

“A pervert.” You answered without hesitation.

Just because you were giving him a second… third…. fourth? Chance didn’t mean you didn’t recognize his flirtatious movements and lustful looks. Plus you were pretty sure he tried to flirt with the shop owner while you were all buying breakfast. Not to mention that he stole your underwear. So. Yeah.

“nyeh heh heh… right.”

“But you’re nice.” You point out, not wanting to linger on Red’s flirtations anymore.

A light orange blush bloomed over Stretch’s cheekbones as he looked away with a small grin. “schucks, kid, you can’t just say things like that.”

“I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true, you’ve been really polite even with all this craziness.” You point out with a pointed look.

“guess i learned from the best…” Stretch murmured as he glanced back at where Blue was still lagging behind, oddly. He seemed to be in a heated discussion with Red, whose face was all puffed out and red and angry.

“Maybe.” You hummed, not quite convinced. Stretch was at least a thousand times more polite than Blue. Not in a bad way! Just… that Stretch knew personal space, and didn’t grab you, and… Blue was a very… touchy? Person. “But I’d say that you’re a pretty cool dude all on your own.”

Stretch chuckled nervously.

“HURRY UP!” Papyrus called suddenly, “WE’RE ALMOST TO HOTLAND!”

His sudden exclamation jolted Sans awake, finally, who nearly tumbled off of Papyrus’ shoulder when he jumped. Papyrus was quick to steady him, though, fairly used to toting his older brother around.

“QUIT LOLLYGAGGING.” Edge added shortly, looking over to where Red was sweating.

“uh, yeh, boss, sure thing!”

Stretch tapped your shoulder. You looked up at him with a raised brow.

“Yes?”

“wanna do something cool?” He asked.

Did you want to know what this cool thing was before agreeing? Maybe, but you were distracted with the wide smile that had overtaken Stretch’s face. You hadn’t even known he _could_ make a face like that.

“... Sure.” You conceded.

Stretch squatted down and patted his shoulders.

“c’mon, get up.”

You could have sworn your eyelights shifted into stars. A piggy-back ride?! You hadn’t gotten one of those in _forever_ ! You practically _scrambled_ to climb onto Stretch’s back.

“This is so cool.” You said almost reverently as he started to stand back up to his full height. Stretch locked his hands together in front of him to help keep your legs pressed to his sides for maximum stability while you slung your arms over his shoulders.

“about to get a lot cooler.” He told you.

Then he started _running_.

This was a big surprise for you. You know. Considering in the two days you’ve known him, you’ve only either seen him sitting, slouching, or walking really _really_ slowly. You let out an honest-to-stars _whoop_ as he jolted forward.

The two of you were laughing madly as you quickly caught up to the other Papyruses.

“YOUR FORM COULD USE SOME WORK, BUT I’M VERY IMPRESSED, ACTUALLY!” Papyrus told Stretch with a large grin.

Sans shot you a less steady grin from where he was still slung over Papyrus’ shoulder. “havin’ fun, kid?”

You could hardly stop laughing enough to answer him.

“That was the _most_ fun. Ever.” you finally gasped out.

Edge scoffed. “I SINCERELY DOUBT THAT.”

You were going to ask him what was wrong when he plucked you from Stretch’s back and set you on his shoulders. “... BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT YET EXPERIENCED MY OWN GREATNESS FIRST.”

It was pure instinct that allowed you to grab onto Edge’s skull, careful not to cover his eye lights, as he began _sprinting_ towards the border between Hotland and Waterfall. “NYEH!” Papyrus called after you, starting to run and try to catch up. Sans, of course, still slung over his shoulder.

“ _bro._ ” Sans wheezed.

“ARE WE RUNNING? WHY ARE WE RUNNING?” Blue questioned before going ahead and jogging with the others. He caught up pretty quickly, falling into place a little behind Papyrus due to the taller skeleton’s head start.

Stretch somehow managed to keep up with a lazy jog…? It didn’t make any sense, logically, but somehow it was working.

Red started cursing profanities very loudly at being left behind.

… You weren’t above laughing at him a little. Underneath you, Edge was snickering as well. A few minutes later, though, you were starting to feel bad. You’d really left him by himself, you couldn’t even see him by now.

“Should we go back for him?” You asked Edge quietly. Your group had stopped at the entrance of the lab. Sans had been released by Papyrus and was going to text Alphys and see if she would let you guys through a shortcut she had in the lab that lead through MTT’s hotel and into the Capitol.

“SANS, MY BROTHER THAT IS - HAS A FEW TRICKS UP HIS SLEEVE. I TRUST HIM TO STAY SAFE.” It was resolute, unshakable. You supposed living in a world like theirs they had to trust in each other’s strength everytime they parted ways.

Your Pointy Papyrus was starting to look a little pensive, so you patted the top of his skull.

“You were right.” You told him. “Most _most_ fun ever.”

Edge smirked. “OF COURSE! NOTHING LESS FOR THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS!”

Stretch was leaning on the wall of the lab, panting heavily while Blue patted his back. He looked up at you with mock betrayal.

“you’re really _breaking my bones_ over here.” He huffed out between pants. Blue made a disgusted face and stepped away from his brother. 

“YOU DESERVE TO SUFFER FOR YOUR CRIMES.”

Your group shared a short laugh before Red popped up out of thin air in front of the six of you. He, too, was panting. His face was red and he was frowning.

“yeah, thanks for that, assholes.”

… Another, slightly louder round of laughter. Red just scoffed at the lot of you and crossed his arms over his rib cage.

“oh laugh it up…” He sat off to the side to sulk for a little while. Since Red was back and seemed to be in perfect condition besides being a little worn out, you figured he more than deserved a little retribution for his actions.

Sans whistled to grab the group’s attention.

“alph says she’ll let us in… she should be at the door in three, two…”

The lab doors slid open before Sans got to one, and behind them was little Alphys. She was shorter than even Sans, with a large lab coat that dragged on the floor behind her. “S-Sorry about the wait! I, um, I t-t-tripped over the, ah, m-my c-c-c-up… noodle... c-collection…”

“no prob, al. thanks for lettin’ us use the shortcut on such short notice.”

Alphys blushed and shrugged nervously, retreating into the lab. You followed her as she walked. “I-It’s really no… no problem.”

“WOW… SHE _IS_ VERY DIFFERENT…” Blue whisper-shouted in Stretch’s direction. The tall lazy skeleton nodded. 

“‘s weird to see her in a getup like that. usually she’s more sweaty and yelling.” He replied.

“S-So who a-are you all?” Alphys asked as casually as she could, adjusting her glasses.

“i’ll explain it to you later, pal.” Sans responded quickly, “in fact, maybe you can help me with adjusting a thermal regulator? somethin’ at my place overheated and it made a… uh… tiny explosion.”

“A-Are you okay??!” Alphys asked worriedly.

“yeah, no _skin off my nose_. just would be helpful an’ all.”

“SANS!” Papyrus scolded. “NOT ONLY DO YOU PUN IN THIS POOR WOMAN’S PLACE OF WORK AND RESIDENCE, BUT YOU IGNORE HER QUESTION ENTIRELY!”

Sans flushed under his stare and rubbed at the back of his skull shamefully. “uh, yeah, sorry. uh - that’s edge, stretch, blue, and red.” He pointed to each new skeleton as he spoke. Alphys took in the new faces with intensity you’d only seen while she was watching a new anime she found - oh dear.

“I-It’s nice t-t-to m-meet you all!” She stuttered out enthusiastically. “I’m, um, Alphys! Th-The royal scientist!”

“NICE TO MEET YOU!” Blue exclaimed, “AS YOU KNOW, I’M BLUE!” He offered his gloved hand to the small drake, who took it hesitantly and squeaked at his tight grip.

“Y-You too, B-Blue…”

“yo, i’m stretch.” Stretch went after Blue. She held her hand out to shake his, too, but Stretch bypassed it to pat her on the shoulder. 

“Hello, S-Stretch!”

“EDGE.” Was all Edge said, with a polite but curt nod in her direction. She looked up to where you were still seated on his shoulders with wide eyes.

“O-Oh dear…”

With an embarrassed chuckle, you patted Edge’s shoulder to let him know that you wanted to be let down. He set you down surprisingly gently and patted you softly on the head a few times. His care made you beam up at him.

For a while, everybody stared at Red, waiting for him to do something.

He made an angry puff sound, “fuckin’ fine, i’m red or whatever.”

Sans rolled his eye lights. “ignore that one, he’s a basket case.”

“asgore’s fuckin’ beard i’m right here!” Red growled.

“S-Sorry!” Alphys apologized, sweating more than usual. You shot Red a look and walked over to pat her on the shoulder.

“He’s just grumpy for waking up so early.” You reassured her. “They’re staying with us for a bit and they need clothes.”

As you turned away, Sans, Red, and Blue’s eye lights followed your form intensely. You didn’t notice, but Alphys did. A small smile squirmed its way onto her face as she followed after you and quickly went ahead to show you all the way.

Her glasses glinted.

She’d always had her suspicions… but this was so much more interesting!

“I-It’s fine…” Alphys shot another apologetic look at Red. “I’m n-n-not much of a m-morning monster, e-either…”

“We _did_ get up really early…” You grumbled, not forgetting how Papyrus had so mercilessly ripped your blanket from you. You missed the privacy and safety of your own room intensely. Unfortunately, there really was nowhere else for the others to stay. The inn would be too expensive to house four skeletons and there were no empty houses in Snowdin.

“Th-That sucks.. Um.. h-have you heard of this, um, well, it’s a manga, o-obviously, but um, there’s this girl Haruhi, and um…” You listened as Alphys explained the concept of a ‘reverse harem’ while the other skeletons followed behind you two at varying paces.

“Wait, so they're all just in love with her?” You asked, not quite understanding.

“R-Right! Y-You kinda remind me of Haruhi… kinda…” Alphys said. “Like, um, like _not_ like y-you’re a girl or anything, but, um, like, the others…” She leaned in closer to you so she could whisper more privately, “they totally remind me of, um, of the guys!”

You stayed quiet, knowing that the only thing that could really get Alphys talking like this was, in fact, anime. You didn’t mind, either. Papyrus didn’t like ‘kid’s cartoons’ and Sans wasn’t fond of anime, but you didn’t have much of an opinion. Sometimes the boobage was a little gratuitous, but to each their own.

“Like, um, Papyrus is such a T-Tamaki! He’s loud and boisterous, but, um… secretly super insecure… not! Not that I’m s-saying a-anything about him like that, um… B-but Edge kinda reminds me of Kyoya, who’s, um, the… um… Cool Type? I think? Yeah... “

You nodded. Papyrus did have a few insecurities, and Edge was very… cool? 

“B-But Blue! He’s soooo Hani, or, um… Mitsukuni! And Stretch is soooo Morinozuka! Like, um, Blue i-is kinda childish and cute, while Stretch is s-silent and protective…”

Another nod. She was surprisingly spot on with these descriptions despite only having met your brothers’ multiversal counterparts only a few minutes ago…

“S-Sans and Red are totally the twins, though. Like, um, they look the same, but one is k-kinda immature and hotheaded…”

_Definitely_.

“That sounds kind of interesting, actually. Can I borrow the… mangas?”

Alphys perked up, her small smile growing into a full on grin. “Y-Yeah, of course!” She confirmed happily. “Y-You’ll love it!”

You smiled back at her, but couldn’t help but ask her something that had been picking at the back of your mind for her entire min-rant. “... You never told me about Haruhi, though, why am I like her?”

Alphys made a small squeak. Her glasses almost slipped off her face, but she caught them quickly and took a look back at your brothers and their counterparts. “... N-no reason. Because you’re… like, um… sweet, I guess?”

You blushed a little and scratched at your cheek, looking away.

“Hey, thanks, you’re sweet too!”

There was an almost audible sound as three certain skeleton’s gaze shot to your flushed face with the expression of a monster looking at water for the first time in days. 

She huffed a little laugh out.

“N-No other reason, really…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the reader who requested that Stretch save poor Bradley from the Sanses! Hurrah for Papyruses!
> 
> I split this into two chapters *sweats* the next chapter is highly self indulgent and very thirsty, be warned.
> 
> Leave a request if you want to see something!


	8. Shoping Trip PT. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Bradely a virgin? Red seems to think so but he may just get proven wrong.
> 
> All this and more in chapter 8

Alphys’ shortcut was extremely helpful; you would have had to travel through many, _many_ more puzzles without her little backdoor into Mettaton’s resort. You and your companions ogled the fancy decorations placed tastefully around the large rooms with awe. She bid you all goodbye to scurry back into her lab.

“I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO VISIT A METTATON ESTABLISHMENT…” Papyrus breathed reverently, just barely brushing a sculpture of his idol lightly with his gloved phalanges. Edge didn’t comment, but you could see him eye the large crystal chandelier above you with an impressed gaze.

Blue was nearly vibrating in place.

“IT REMINDS ME OF NABSTATON’S RESORT! I’VE ONLY EVER SEEN PHOTOS AND VIDEO FEED…!” He rushed over to where there was an honest-to-stars _fountain_ and splashed some of the water to watch how it sparkled.

It _was_ a pretty neat effect, how did they get it to glitter so prettily under the lights…?

You wandered closer to look into the small pool of water.

_Oh._

It… _was_ glitter. Water mixed in with an ungodly amount of the sparkly particles. You took a few cautious steps back, not wanting to get any on your clothes. Stars know it would stick around indefinitely!

You saw that Sans had a dull look on his face, looking completely unimpressed. It was a well-known fact in your family that he held no affection for the Underground’s one and only star, but surely even he could appreciate the grandeur of this hotel…?

“eh. seen it.” He shrugged.

“I THINK I WOULD REMEMBER IF WE’D VISITED THE PRIMARY HUB FOR EVERYTHING COOL IN THE UNDERGROUND??” Papyrus replied. Despite his confused tone of voice, the skeleton currently had an entire arm dipped into the sparkly fountain. He’d taken off one of his gloves to splash around a little in the water.

It was as amusing to see as it was horrifying to realize that you were going to have that in your house.

“you were younger….” Sans explained casually, “i did a few acts here… comedy, that is.”

“I DON’T BELIEVE YOU.” Papyrus announced finally. He brought his arm up and out of the water, shaking it a little to rid the bone of water, and slipped his glove back on.

“heheh… maybe you don’t remember, but i’d drop you and lele off at grillby’s for the night…” Sans’ eye lights fuzzed as he remembered. “he told me that he had a hell of a time trying to figure out something you’d actually eat, and lele…” Sans looked at you. You stared back eagerly, wanting to know what he was going to say. But Sans only cringed and looked away, “you were _way_ too young to remember, uh…”

… That… _hurt_. Like he didn’t even want to think about you… You tried to let the subtle movement roll off your back, but it put a small metaphorical chip in your shoulder.

“I MEAN I CAN’T BELIEVE ANYONE WOULD PAY TO HEAR YOU TELL YOUR AWFUL JOKES. I REMEMBER VISITING GRILLBY.”

“come on, paps, i had a whole routine. puns were only _most_ of the act.”

“AND YOU WERE _PAID_ TO DO THIS?” Blue asked in mild horror.

Sans snorted, “yeah, i got a real funny _bone._ ” With a signature Sans-Wink, your eldest brother successfully sent Papyrus into a stomping fit.

“NO!! PUNNING!! IN METTATON’S HOTEL!! IS NOTHING SACRED TO YOU, BROTHER?” He said, exasperated.

“he’s got a point,” Red mentioned. “yer bone puns suck, there’s so many better options.” The edgy monster still had an edge to his voice that suggested he was a little irritated, but it was largely overshadowed by his mocking tone.

“sticks and stones may break my _bones,_ but words’ll never hurt me, edgy mcsharp-teeth. you think you can do better?” Sans narrowed his eye sockets at his multiversal double challengingly.

Red’s teeth quirked up in the beginning of a smirk as he took a quick glance towards you.

_Oh, oh stars, please not again…_ Wasn’t he still sulking over getting pulled away from you? Granted, it could be the early morning and the fact that he got left behind, but he’d seemed pretty heated with Blue earlier.

“sure thing. yo, bradley, wanna see my _bone-_ r?”

You almost choked.

“I’ll pass.” You told him.

“you tellin’ me you _don’t_ wanna study my mysterious 207th _bone_?” Red waggled his brow bones ridiculously at you. Despite the flush you could feel rising to your face, you couldn’t help but let out one, short bark of laughter.

It was different then when he cornered you or tried to touch you… sillier, more fun. A friendly poke instead of a giant shove.

Stretch _giggled_ , but hid it behind the sleeve of his hoodie when Blue shot him a disappointed glare. “HONESTLY, RED…”

“AGREED, YOU’VE EMBARRASSED YOURSELF ENOUGH, BROTHER.” Edge told Red while pinching his nasal ridge. There was a thin sheen of Red over his cheekbones - it seemed more like with how shameless Red was, Edge was feeling more embarrassed.

“come off it,” Red laughed, “i got a _femur_ good ones…” He turned his red eye lights to you, “speakin’ of _femurs_ and the things between ‘em, or as i like to call it, the _bone zone!”_

By now you and Stretch were nearly in stitches while Blue, Edge, and Papyrus had distanced themselves, pretending to not know you four. Sans was standing still, staring blankly at his counterpart.

“i think that’s enough about _boning_.” Sans grit out through clenched teeth. If your eyes sockets weren’t clouded with pink ectoplasmic tears, you would have seen that his eye sockets had gone empty again.

“wait, wait, i got a good one…” Red winked at you dramatically whilst making a ring with one finger and sticking the index phalanx of his other hand through it in small thrusting motions, “can i explore your central canal? and i don’t mean the haversian in the osteon!”

_Th-That was such an obscure joke!_ The sheer nerd factor inspired another round of giggles.

“THAT ONE DIDN’T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!” Blue complained petulantly.

Red rolled his eye lights, “fine, i guess it’s a good thing we’re both made of bones, ‘cause i’d like to be oste- _on top_ of you, dollface.”

“O-Oh jeez…” You gasped after finally calming down. Next to you, Stretch was still shaking with silent laughter of his own. “Do you just have those on demand?”

“heheh, yup. but those ain’t the only _on demand_ things i got, if ya catch my drift.” Another absolutely hilarious wiggle of his brow bones and you were laughing all over again.

“I’M LEAVING.” Edge told your group, stomping off on his own towards where many signs informed you there was a food court.

You’d never heard of a hotel that had a food court, but maybe that was just on brand for MTT. Blue nearly tripped over himself in his rush to follow and leave behind your group, with Papyrus leaving after a few more moments of laughter from you, Red and Stretch. Sans stood there, still tense, tapping his foot impatiently.

“are you done?” He sighed after you all had calmed for probably the third time.

“nyeh heh, sure, i think our bro’s went to the food court.” Stretch responded. His orange eye lights were bright in his eye sockets as he pointed to where they left.

“great.” Sans mumbled, “i guess we’re eating before we shop.” His unenthused tone went ignored by the rest of your group.

“Do you think MTT food is any good?” You asked Sans, “He has a cooking show… do you think they have the Legendary Hero?!” That sparkly sandwich had been calling your name since you’d first seen it premiered in a commercial a few months back… Papyrus had been just as keen to get his phalanges on one, but you were so far out in Snowdin that it was unlikely you’d be able to try one.

Now was your opportunity!

Red opened his mouth to make a comment, but Sans snapped at him before he could, “i know what you’re going to say, don’t even try.”

Red only grunted and scowled at the other, following after you and Stretch, who had started after the rest of the group. Sans was the furthest behind, wearing a scowl of his own.

After a tiny bit of back-and-forth in your head about whether or not you should, you finally decided to fall behind a little and walk next to Sans. He… hasn’t really been himself ever since these other versions got here. Granted, it hasn’t even been a week since the alternates arrived.

Sans has been snappy and kinda rude. It wasn’t really the best motivator for you to have some sympathy, but you figured he might just be stressed. The whole thing about him treating you like a kid… it isn’t new, so you can’t exactly hold it over his head at the moment, but he’d stepped up and told Red off the other night after what had happened...

The interaction with Alphys earlier proved that he was trying his best, too. He was polite with her and even told a few puns! And even just now, even though you can tell that the raunchy quality of Red’s jokes was getting on his nerves, Sans even rebuffed with a few puns of his own!

You kept Sans’ slower pace casually. After a minute, the glare softened into a look of tiredness that had your soul aching in your rib cage.

_Poor Sans._

He’s probably still worn out from whatever it is that kept him up so late last night.

… You should probably cut him some slack.

“Are you okay?” You asked softly, not wanting to alert the others to your conversation.

Sans jolted before turning to you. His eye lights swept the area behind you, then he turned his head to look behind _him_ before finally pointing to himself. “who? you talkin’ to this old bag of bones, ki - eh, lele?”

Your skeletal grin became a bit more genuine at the little display. “Yes, you, silly bones. Are you feeling alright? You stayed up late last night.”

A small bit of blue dusted over your eldest brother’s cheekbones as he shrugged. 

“i dunno. been a bit busy with the machine. ‘s totally busted, heh.”

“Take a break.” You suggested. If what he had been telling Alphys earlier was true, then he’d probably already been working himself into the ground before this whole situation happened. A small part of you wondered how you’d never noticed Sans having a basement lab before, but it almost didn’t surprise you?  
  


Like, you logically knew that Sans used to work in the lab and that he’s still interested in the sciences, but… having a whole secret basement lab is an entirely different thing.

“... a break?” Sans repeated skeptically.

“Yup!” You threw an arm around his shoulder and pulled him close to your side. Sans sputtered and struggled lightly, but ultimately went limp in your hold as you marched along with him. “A break! You know, like when you shirk duty at your sentry station? We’re shopping today. And eating Mettaton food!”

There was a small puff of laughter from the shorter skeleton.

“how could i forget?” He sighed, sounding content as he pushed his skull right into the gap between your clavicle and cervical vertebrae. “union mandated break, starting now.”

Sans’ hot breath against your neck was kind of ticklish, so you let go of him a few seconds later, feeling kind of weird. It was awkward as the two of you stumbled apart.

“Hahah,” You tried to cover up the sudden awkwardness you were feeling with a small laugh, but it fell flat. “What would you do without me?”

“...” Sans was quiet. The two of you shuffled quickly to catch up with Red and Stretch. You were coming up on what you believed to be the largest food court in the entire underground. The mall you’d visited back when you were a teenager in New Home had _nothing_ on Mettaton’s grandeur.

“looks like they already went ahead.” Stretch mentioned to the two of you when you caught up, pointing over to where the three more excitable skeletons were crowding some poor worker at the counter. There was lots of pointing to the sign and jumping.

“They’ll probably get enough for us, let’s find a seat.” You suggested to your brother and the alternates. They agreed and the four of you quickly found a rather large booth off to the side that would accommodate all seven of you. It was in clear view from where Papyrus Edge and blue were still ordering, so you figured they wouldn’t have trouble finding the lot of you when they were finished.

Stretch slid in first, then Red. Sans motioned for you to go in first, after which he slid in after you. It resulted in you being a little _sans-_ wiched, but that was fine. By now, each of the skeletons seemed to be in a decent mood, this morning forgotten.

Red, especially, was happy to see that at the center of the table a little caddy was stocked with napkins, salt, pepper… and condiment packets.

He reached over you to slide the caddy towards himself.

“fuck yeah!” He exclaimed, ripping open a packet of mustard and quickly sucking out its contents. Your shock was immeasurable.

Sans and Stretch had a cheeky laugh at the expression on your face, but you couldn’t _help it._ Knowing Sans’ rather gross habit and even after seeing the mustard stains on Red’s jacket earlier, you still weren’t prepared for this.

To rub salt in the wound, both Sans and Stretch reached for their favored condiments. Sans made quick work of a packet of ketchup, slurping loudly, while Stretch hummed happily at the taste of honey he’d taken.

“wassa problem, lele?” Sans teased, taking another slurp from a second packet.

“want some?” Stretch poked. He was wiggling his _way-too_ long tongue at you, the honey nearly blending in with his magic color. You wrinkled your nasal bone and covered your eyes.

“Disgusting. All of you.” You declared.

“awww, they’re not so bad.” Sans patted your shoulder a few times as a consolation. A few moments later, he spoke up again to counter that, though, “well, at least except for mustard. that shit’s nasty.”

It was a clear barb at Red, but the taller skeleton fell for it anyways.

“oh yeah? _suck it_ , classic. you wish ya could _ketch-up_ ta my level.” You groaned into the hands that were still covering your face.

_Again with the puns…!_

“really, now, red…” Sans sighed all exaggerated like before breaking out his own jokes, “you _must_ ard be out of your mind to say something like that. i love ketchup from my head _tomatoes_ , no _bones about it_. if any one’s a condiment connoisseur around these parts, it’s me.”

Red only snickered in response. He grabbed up one of Stretch’s honey packets from where the tall skeleton had been quietly hoarding them and tossed it over at Sans. Stretch whined but made no attempt to retrieve it once Sans had caught the packet and started looking over it. “prove it, vanilla. If your palete is so fuckin’ refined, you shouldn’t have a problem with a lil honey.”

Sans shrugged. “i don’t have anything to prove, why should i?”

… Gritting his teeth, Red replied. “... guess i knew you was a chicken, heh.”

Your hands fell away from your sockets finally so you could take a glance over at Sans, already knowing that jab wouldn’t go over well with your older brother. Predictably Sans’ eye lights had gone out, leaving his face eerily devoid of light and humor.

“what did you call me?” Sans almost _growled_.

“hm? whadd’id ya say?” Red taunted, “all i could hear was ‘bahk bahk _bahk.’”_

By now, the argument had pulled Stretch from whatever honey-packet tower he was trying to construct. “ouch, damn.” He commented.

“it's really not that important?” Sans laughed tensely. With the way he was gripping the packet of honey, you wouldn’t be surprised if it busted open all over the table.

“yeah.” Red tapped his sharp phalanges on the table, “but i _dare ya_.”

“DARE HIM TO DO WHAT?”

Your entire table startled at the appearance of Blue, who had his hands on his hips. Behind him were Papyrus and Edge, each holding try absolutely _stacked_ with food. They were giving their respective Sanses suspicious looks.

“... sansy here was gonna give your bro’s choice treat a try.” Red replied after a little, grin oily.

“like hell i _will_..” Sans retorted snappily.

“oooh, the chicken’s back. bahk bahk bahk.”

“RED,” Papyrus interrupted Red’s bahking to inform him that, “THERE ARE NO CHICKENS NEARBY, AND FRANKLY IF THEY WERE I BELIEVE THEY WOULD BE INSULTED AT YOUR IMPRESSION.”

“YOU’RE MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF, BROTHER. _AGAIN._ ” Edge tacked on with a pointed look.

It as now Sans’ turn to snicker as Red got chewed out by the Papyruses. And, Blue too, apparently. “IS THERE A REASON YOU FEEL COMPELLED TO ACT LIKE POULTRY?” He asked innocently, “PERHAPS THE ACTIONS FEEL NATURAL FOR YOU?”

Red threw his hand into the air while everyone shared a short laugh. “i don’t gotta hear this from the blueberry virgin.”

The rest of your group started to sit down with you, Blue next to Sans, Papyrus next to him and then Edge across from Papyrus and next to Stretch. They began to distribute the food among everybody as Blue sputtered.

His brows contorted into a furrow as his face light up with his namesake.

“I’M NOT A…” He blustered. Realizing what he was about to say and _where_ he was about to say it, he stopped and resumed quieter, “A V-VIRGIN!”

Stretch snorted in the background. Upon receiving a stern look from his brother, he waved his hands around in front of him as if to say ‘ _i’m innocent!’_ , “hey, bro. don’t worry. we all know you fuck.”

That only seemed to make Blue’s blush brighter. “YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SO CRASS, PAPY.” He complained.

“I’D PREFER IT IF WE NOT DISCUSS THIS MATTER AT ALL WHILE WE ARE EATING.” Edge remarked dryly, unfolding a paper napkin to set in his lap. Papyrus followed his example and nodded along.

“YES, LET’S JUST ENJOY THIS BOUNTIFUL FEAST OF MTT BRAND FOOD. I EVEN GOT US LEGENDARY HEROES!”

“Yes!” You punched the air above your head. “Thank you, Papy!”

You opened the little bag that had been sat in front of you to see the sandwich of your dreams. Bright pink and in the shape of a sword, not to mention _covered_ in sparkles, the Legendary Hero was everything you’d dreamed it would be.

Too bad Red couldn’t leave well enough alone.

“i’m not buyin’ it, blue’s definitely a virgin.” He declared.

“AM NOT!” Blue huffed.

“are too.”

Red pointed at Blue, “virgin,” next to Papyrus, “virgin,” then to his own _brother_ , “virgin.” He pointed to Stretch next but paused, “you pass, i guess.” 

"gee, thanks," Stretch rolled his eye lights and brought up his own sandwich to take a bite out of.

Red set his sights on Sans after and sighed, “not a virgin, but…” He squinted, “yer definitely into some weird shit. _and_ ya finish first.”

Sans glowered at Red but didn’t have a proper come back except to flip him off and give a weak, “fuck off.”

Just as you thought this was all over now that he’s decided whether or not his and his brother’s multiversal counter parts were virgins, he flicked your forehead. You didn’t see it coming, so both the shock and slight pain prompted you to yelp and hold the spot where he hit you.

You gave Red a betrayed look.

“extra mega virgin supreme.” He said almost clinically, like he was diagnosing you with it, “with a side of major bottom.”

Taking a large bite of your sandwich, you frowned grumpily. “That’s not even true…” When Red quirked a brow ridge at you, you relented, “well - ”

You shut yourself up, realizing that you were about to reveal information about your sex life that you didn’t want _anyone_ at this table to know. Least of all the skeleton sitting on your left, your oldest brother and arguably the most protective people you knew.

“bradley fucks?” Stretch joked. You could tell he didn’t mean anything by it, that he wasn’t serious, but you still ducked your head and took another large bite of your sandwhich to avoid incriminating yourself.

You seemed to have forgotten, however, that Sans was the best face reader on this side of the Underground.

He looked to realize what your reaction meant at exactly the same time as Red.

“you _do._ ” Your eldest brother’s sharp-toothed counterpart gasped. You try not to focus on the fact that he sounded utterly _delighted._

Sans made a choking noise.

“OF COURSE HE DOESN’T!” Papyrus sounded to have heard enough. He had already finished his sandwich and was listening with annoyance, “I HAVEN’T EVEN GIVEN HIM THE TALK YET.”

You looked up just in time to see Sans whip his skull around to look at Papyrus, “bro, how do you know about the talk? i haven’t even given it to _you_.”

“OH, WELL, THAT’S, UM, YOU SEE - “ Papyrus rushed to explain himself. His skull was a blazing orange.

“OH MY STARS.” Edge groaned. “IS THIS CONVERSATION REALLY HAPPENING?”

“I WISH IT WEREN’T..!” Blue replied.

“Ditto. Let’s eat.” You said quickly.

You all ate your food in silence from that point. You in particular tried to ignore the looks everybody else at the table kept shooting you.

Why in Asgore’s name did they care so much about whether or not you were a virgin! You’re an adult! It’s not any of their business!

The silence continued until you had all thrown away your trash and were headed to the shops in New Home just beyond Mettaton’s establishment. Papyrus spoke up briefly to explain that there was a store that would take measurements for Stretch and Edge’s wardrobe since there wasn’t any clothing that would fit someone as tall and skinny as them.

You remember visiting once a few years back when Papyrus had hit his final growth spurt and needed some new clothes.

It was decided that the group would travel to get the measurements taken first to give the tailors some extra time to fix up some clothes for Edge and Stretch after they picked out a few designs from a catalog.

Then you’d go to a regular store for Red and Blue, who were considerably shorter and more filled out in comparison to their brothers.

… It resulted in you, Sans, Red, and Blue all sitting together in the waiting room. Papyrus was in the back with his own counterparts to help direct the fittings.

You sat on a love seat next to Sans, a considerable amount of space between the two of you. Red and Blue sat in individual chairs on the other side of the room. The room was heavy with the previous conversation, but no one seemed willing enough to continue it.

Not that you minded. 

Sans cleared his throat. Just when you thought you were safe.

You felt an unreasonable amount of dread crawl up your spine, like you could tell what he was about to say before he said it. And in a way you could.

You knew that you’d never given either him or Papyrus a reason to suspect that you’d had relationships before, and you were hoping to keep it that way until you found someone that you wanted to take home and introduce.

The high school boyfriend you’d dated for two months and fooled around with a few times? Yeah, it was awkward enough when you saw _each other_ in public. You definitely didn’t want your brothers to know about him.

“... so.” Your eldest brother began. He was sweating enough to fill a Mettaton Brand sized pool “... uh….”

“It’s really none of your business.” You told him quickly. “I didn’t do anything in the house, if that makes you feel better.”

“ _i_ gotta question.” Red interjected,

“NOW REALLY IS NOT THE TIME, PLEASE.” Blue cut him off. He was still upset from when Red called him a virgin blueberry.

“no no, i need to know,” The taller skeleton continues, “how far didja go? was it just a handy? oral? ‘cause - “

“ _red._ ” Sans stressed. “you’re not helping.”

“Yeah, that’s kinda private information.” You confirm timidly. You look to Sans nervously then look away. _Awkward._

“...just tell me,” Sans implored after a little, “you were safe, right?”

“... Y-Yeah.” You could at least give him that. “We were safe, or - as safe as high school kids can be, heh.”

It was right after you spoke that you realized you’d said too much. Your face blanched.

The room became about ten degrees colder.

“... high school?”

You gulped.

_Shit._

“OH DEAR.” Blue squeaked. 

“who the _hell_ touched you while you were still in stripes!?” The explosion was expected, but you still flinched. Sans looked _livid._ His eye sockets hadn’t gone empty this time, but there was a flickering of blue in the left one that you only saw when Sans was really, _really_ upset. And you’d never seen it so close before.

And, well, you could _sort of_ understand. Sans had kept you in stripes until your graduation. While most of your peers had shed them at the beginning of senior or as soon as junior year, you alone remained with the marks of childhood.

Touching someone in stripes was pretty much illegal. The only reason that you had thought it would be okay is that you had basically almost been an adult anyways, plus your boyfriend had been the same age as you. He’d shed his stripes only a month before you started dating.

“W-We were the same age - “

Sans took a long, calming breath, then turned his worry on you.

“lele, you _know_ i had you wear those to protect you.”

“But he didn’t even do anything I didn’t like!” You protested.

“it’s the principle, bud. you don’t touch someone who’s in stripes.”

“...” you looked away, upset. Mostly because you knew he was right. But it wasn’t fair for him to keep you in stripes so long after everyone else your age had already been allowed to stop wearing them!

Sans sighed and shuffled closer to you. “... sorry, bud. i just… as long as you were safe.”

“Okay.” Your posture deflated a little, feeling less confident. “It… It was only o-oral, anyways. I didn’t let him, um…” You trail off softly.

You leaned into Sans for a little bit of comfort, and he was quick to wrap an arm around your shoulders. Ever tying was quiet until…

“high school?” Sans asked. He sounded a little odd.

“Yes?” 

“... but you had braces in high school.” His voice was so lost.

A deep, vivid hot pink coats your entire skull. “I-Is that really what you’re concerned about?!” Sans made a weird noise in the back of his throat while Red burst into laughter. “Y-You’re not even supposed to use your teeth??”

Sans stiffened.

_“shit!”_ Red gufawwed.

You pulled away from Sans and resumed pouting by yourself.

“Ugh! It doesn't even matter, he liked it anyways.” You retorted saltily.

. . . 

Red’s laughter increased by ten fold while both Sans and Blue did a fair impression of a light bulb. "nah, nah, sweetheart. keep explaining how yer supposed ta give head."

“... WHAT’S ALL THIS COMMOTION?” The Papyruses finally returned, looking upon the four of you with varying amounts of annoyance and confusion.

“nothing, nothing at all.” Sans lied, standing straight up, now looking like a lamp, “we better get a move on to the other shops if we wanna get home on time.”

“yeah,” Red said, “let’s _blow_ this popsicle stand.”

Blue made a noise of disgust.

…

Papyrus shook his head, confused, while the rest of you filed out of the store to follow him.

For the next thirty minutes at _least_ you had to endure Red taking any and every opportunity to make a dick joke or anything related to _sucking_ or _blowing_.

You were too embarrassed to explain to any of the Papyruses _why_ Red was having such a good time with his little jokes and Sans wouldn’t look at you during that time.

Blue kept on clearing his throat when he got within three feet of you and giving you awkward, sympathetic smiles.

_This blows._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahah! I've wanted to write the boys' reaction to Bradley revealing that he's not exactly the pure flower Sans makes him out to be since I first started writing this!
> 
> Red and Blue don't mind (in fact, they're glad that he's got some experience) (Blue just wishes it didn't have to be revealed the way it was), but Sans is devastated. If he ever finds out who exactly Bradley's boyfriend was, somebody's having a B A D T I ME .
> 
> This was a bit of a naughty chapter, but it was fun to write! If you liked it then leave a comment! :)


	9. Shopping Trip PT. 3 (Final)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make a deal, and a few purchases!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a long time to come out because I wanted to avoid having to describe so many outfits...
> 
> Shorter chapter!

Blue follows you in the store. 

He tried to be subtle about it, you could tell, but it wasn't working. Red was too busy ogling mannequins to get some clothes for himself, so you had taken up the mantle of making sure he didn't go naked or have to share Sans’ ketchup stained stuff.

At each rack or shelf you’d visited to browse through, Blue wandered over to slightly behind you, humming a jaunty yet unfamiliar tune as he looked through the clothes you’d _just_ searched yourself. While you’d accumulated quite a few articles of clothing to sling over your arm and bring to Red, Blue had picked out almost nothing so far.

It was another half hour into the trip that you finally decided to face him, otherwise you knew you’d be there all day.

“Blue,” You said. “Have you seen anything that caught your attention?” Just light enough that he didn't feel like you were scolding him.

Blue smiled brightly at you and held up one shirt in front of himself. You couldn’t help but notice that it looked… a little too small? When you pointed that out, Blue’s skull started to glow a little and he looked to the side bashfully.

“WELL… ACTUALLY… I THOUGHT IT MIGHT LOOK BETTER ON YOU!” He admitted. You took a second look at the shirt, noticing more than just the size. It was a baby blue crop top with a breast pocket that had a yellow flower on it.

It was… pretty cute.

But he wasn’t supposed to be shopping for you!

“It’s nice, but this trip is for _you_. I already have clothes at home.” You explained gently. Blue’s expression fell, but he clutched the shirt close to his rib cage. To your exasperation, you were catching the attention of the other skeletons in the vicinity.

First, Sans sauntered over, probably to make sure Blue wasn’t trying to harass you or something since that was apparently his biggest concern these days (perhaps just a little rightfully so…). Then, once Red saw that the other Sanses were gathered ‘round, he decided to come over too.

“what’s happening?” Sans asked with a yawn. He leaned heavily onto your shoulder, knocking you slightly off balance. Seemed he’d recovered from the previous hour. To be fair, he and the others have done a pretty good job at pretending _a lot_ of embarrassing stuff hadn’t happened.

You adjusted your stance to accommodate your heavy brother. “Nothing, Blue’s just having trouble picking out clothes.”

“NOT TRUE!” Blue pouted. “IT’S JUST THAT I KEEP FINDING THINGS I THINK WOULD LOOK CUTE ON YOU AND I GET DISTRACTED!”

“But this trip is for _you_ , Blue.” You told him again, confident that Sans would back you up on this. It was his wallet on the line after all. But Sans only looked over what Blue was holding and clicked his tongue.

“it’s cute.” He said, then turned to you. “why don’t you give it a try?”

Absolutely flabbergasted, you opened your mouth a few times, but now words came out. “... Are you serious?” You managed after a minute.

Sans shrugged, “nah, the name’s sans. but really… we made it this far out already, treat yourself.”

“You’re already paying for the new wardrobe of four monsters, Sans.” You attempted to reason, “I don’t need any more clothes.” Even if you were feeling a little bit of spiteful glee earlier knowing that he was going to boot the bill for the new clothes… it just felt scummy to take advantage of the situation like that.

Red chose then to jump in, looking a little eager. “if baby blue gets to choose some clothes fer ya, i can too, right?”

“YOU’LL JUST CHOOSE SOMETHING LEWD.” Blue scowled. Red scoffed, probably going to say something mildly insulting and crass, but Sans spoke up before he could.

“you two still need to find yourself clothes. i’ll help lele pick out some new ones.”

Red turned his narrow gaze on Sans, who pretended as if the other didn’t even exist.

You, yourself, found yourself stepping away from your older brother, leaving him to stumble and right himself. “Fine.” You conceded. “I’ll let you guys pick out some clothes for me.”

Blue’s eye lights turned to stars and Red gave a snarky grin over to Sans, who was still looking at you with faint betrayal.

“But… you need to pick out enough clothes for yourself first. _And_ I’ll only accept one outfit from each of you.” Once the conditions were set, Blue trotted away to pick out some clothes for himself and probably eye something to go with the shirt he’d already gotten.

Meanwhile, Red looked down at the clothes you’d chosen for him.

“those fer me?” He asked.

… You realized belatedly that it probably gave him an unfair advantage to have already picked out most of his clothes. “Yes.” You grumbled, “But you still need to pick out some underwear and… socks…”

Red took the clothes from you with a cheeky wink. “aw, kinda wanted ta see what you think would suit me, doll.” Then, he was gone, not giving you enough time to scold him. Stupid teleporting not-brothers….

“well, guess we better get looking.” Sans said from beside you. 

You whirled around to face him and whined, “You’re not even getting anything for yourself.”

Sans shrugged in that typical lazy way of his. “it’s my money, isn’t it? i can pick something out for my lil’ bro if i want.”

You couldn’t really refute that, so you crossed your arms over your rib cage and watched as he slipped away to browse the shelves himself.

… You really should have expected it when someone tapped you on the shoulder from behind. But you were too caught up in your own little world that it nearly scared you out of your skin. With a yelp, you turned to see Stretch.

He was leaning down so his skull was next to yours, smiling a little.

“why the long face?” He teased.

You turned back around so he couldn’t see your pouty face. You were an adult… pouting should be beneath you…

“Just Sans being annoying again.”

Stretch hums and leans against you, much like Sans had only a minute ago. “he does that a lot, huh?”

“I’m starting to think it’s a Sans thing.” You told him honestly. Maybe it was engraved into the universal code of all Sanses that they have to be annoying older brothers. Whatever that meant.

“yeah? what’s up this time?”

You gestured to where three Sanses were now riffling excitedly through whatever clothing they could find. Well. Sans himself looked like he was pursuing casually. “I told them they could pick something out for me after they got their own clothes.”

Stretch made an appraising noise before he stood up as straight as a guy like him could. He slipped his hands into his hoodie pockets and rocked back and forth on his feet a little. “sounds fun.”

“Not really. I’m pretty sure Sans is going to pick out something ridiculous.” You watched, uncomprehending, as Stretch began to look through a nearby rack of clothes. After a few moments, you realized what he was doing.

“Stretch-”

You were cut off as he held something out in front of himself. A cotton-candy pink hoodie. It didn’t actually look too bad… 

“i already picked out what i wanted didn’t i?” Stretch winked at you.

You frowned. “I guess…”

Stretch went back to looking, but it seemed his sudden activity drew the attention of the other Papyruses. These ‘swapped’ brothers really were quite the trouble-makers…

“HELLO!” Papyrus greeted as he came over. “WHAT’S ALL THIS EXCITEMENT ABOUT?”

“it’s dress up day for lele.” Stretch told him before you could.

Papyrus clapped his hands together with a large smile. “OH, I LOVE DRESSING LELE UP! I, THE _GREAT_ PAPYRUS, HAVE AN IMPECCABLE SENSE OF TASTE!”

Before he could run off and start his own search you caught him by the back of his scarf. With a wheeze, Papyrus looked to you. “YES, BROTHER?” He inquired innocently.

“One outfit.” You told him, knowing that there was no use arguing about ‘dress up day for lele’. At least you could minimize it.

“RIGHT THEN! IT’LL BE THE BEST OUTFIT YOU’VE EVER LAID… _EYE SOCKET_ ON! NYEH!” You could see Sans popping his head over a rack of clothing to shoot the two of you a grin and a thumbs up, which had Papyrus puffing his rib cage out in pride.

What you didn’t expect was Edge eyeing you up and down. You almost felt compelled to use your arms to cover yourself, but refrained. He’d been silent during the whole thing.

“ONE OUTFIT?” He asked.

You groaned. Not him too?!

“... Yes…” You said reluctantly.

Now there were six skeletons running amok in the store, all trying to pick out an outfit for you. Well… at least they were getting their own clothes, too.

Looking around, you decided to join… Stretch.

He was over near a shelf covered in pants, still holding the hoodie over his arm. When you approached him, he looked up with a tired smile. “‘sup?”

“Don’t ‘sup’ me.” You told him playfully with narrow sockets. “You’re the reason I have three more skeletons trying to dress me up.”

Stretch let out a short snicker and patted you on the head. “don’t be so glum, chum. have some _fun_.”

You snorted and slapped his hand away from your head. “Whatever… What are you picking out?” On your tippy-toes, you looked over his shoulder to see whatever it was he was looking at.

Stretch stepped back and let you see what was in his arms. The same hoodie from before along with joggers that looked suspiciously similar to the ones he was wearing right then. “i was thinking we could match.”

“Hmmmm….” You hummed with fake skepticism.

“hmmmm?” Stretch mimicked you, his eye sockets narrowing. “you think there’s something wrong with the way i dress?”

“Nooo…” You dragged the word out with an innocent tone.

You only saw a hint of a smirk on Stretch’s skull before he tossed the clothes he’d picked out over his shoulder, then plucked you up with _blue magic_. You let out a small shriek as Stretch started to prod at your ribs as he held you aloft. 

“oh yeah? tell me the truth, kid.”

_T-Ticklish!_

You squirmed and gasped, trying to escape. It wasn’t long until _you_ caused a ruckus and were drawing the others in. But no matter how much you wriggled, you couldn't escape Stretch’s magical hold. 

“NYEH!” Papyrus exclaimed, “I’LL SAVE YOU, BRADLEY!”

Suddenly, you were drawn into Papyrus’ arms as he presumably used his own magic to bring you in. Your brother laughed in triumph as he grabbed you and held your small frame over his head. “IT’S MY TURN TO HOLD HIM!!”

“Turn?!” You gasped, “I’m not a toy!”

“OF COURSE NOT!” Papyrus replied, “YOU’RE MY PRECIOUS LITTLE BROTHER! AND IT’S MY TURN TO HOLD YOU!!!”

Blue, who’d bounced over a few seconds ago, pouted at Papyrus. “BUT I HAVEN’T HELD HIM AT ALL TODAY!”

“it’s not nice to tell lies, baby blue.” Red pitched in from where he had been watching the proceedings with a smirk. Thinking back to earlier this morning, Blue _had_ been holding onto you pretty tightly…

“YES WELL…” He blushed and looked away, “I WAS PROTECTING HIM FROM _YOU!”_

“when was this?” Sans asked tiredly.

Red rolled his eyes and huffed, “fer yer infor _mation_ , i was saying i was _sorry_ fer yesterday.”

While it was technically true… it also left out the fact that he’d nearly drooled on your shoes asking you if you wanted him to grovel for you. You shudder at the memory.

“WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY?” Papyrus frowned.

All three Sanses went still. Papyrus turned a stern look on Sans, while Edge did much the same to Red.

“look, it’s not important…” Sans began to sweat, a few bright blue droplets appearing at the top of his skull.

The tension slowly rose among your little group, until you decided to break it. You still didn’t want Papyrus or some of the others to know what had happened…

“He’s right.” You said, “Has everyone picked out their clothes?”

Hah. You’re a master of redirection.

Blue and Red started talking at the same time, holding up various articles of clothing. You stopped them by raising your hand. “Okay, let’s get to the changing rooms, then.”

As the group traveled to the back where the changing rooms were, you allowed Papyrus to carry you with little complaint. He seemed happy enough to hold you anyways, which you thought was a little endearing. He carried Sans around enough that it should be normal for him, anyways.

Papyrus set you down on one of the little couches outside the dressing booths and sat next to you. The others gathered around and started to shove things at you - confused, you stuttered and pushed them away.

“W-what are you guys doing?”

Blue, the most adamant of those trying to push clothes into your hands, smiled brightly at you. “YOU’RE GOING TO TRY ON WHAT WE PICKED, RIGHT?”

You shook your head, “First, you and Red need to make sure your stuff fits.”

Red, ever the shameless monster, dropped everything in his arms at once and started to pull on one of the shirts _you’d_ picked on over the clothes he’d already been wearing. Everyone shot him an unimpressed look.

Edge delivered a swift slap to the back of his skull, which had Red stop in his tracks and curse. “what the hell, boss?”

“USE THE CHANGING ROOM LIKE A DECENT MONSTER.”

Red grumbled and rubbed the sore spot, gathering up his clothes again. “yeah yeah…”

From there, you and the others observed as the two Sanses tried on what they’d chosen. Sans was asleep on your other side after having taken the spot, leaning on your shoulder, while Papyrus gave praise to whatever they wore. 

Edge observed quietly and Stretch… Stretch was sitting at your feet since there was no room left on the couch. His back was leaning against your legs and he clapped anytime his brother came out.

You think you might have been the only one actually trying to make sure their clothes fit properly…

Luckily, there were no fitting issues. Red ended up keeping most of what you’d picked out, which were clothes similar to Sans’ but in darker colors. Blue chose a lot of work out-esque clothing, such as various tank tops and performance shirts and shorts. His clothes were either blue or gray, with the odd yellow article.

When it finally came time for you to try on clothes… Papyrus betrayed you by shoving you into a random dressing room. A shirt, pants, and tie were unceremoniously tossed over the door.

“TRY ON MINE FIRST!!” You heard your brother direct.

The others chimed in, calling dibs for ‘next’. After a bit of deliberation you weren’t a part of, it was decided that you’d try on Papyrus’ choice, then Blue’s, Edge’s, Red’s, Stretch’s, and lastly, Sans’. With a sigh, you looked down at what Papyrus had picked.

It was a soft white button-up shirt with long puffy sleeves and a pair of skinny black trousers. The tie was the color of your magic with little white stars patterned on.

You put them on with little trouble, then knocked on the dressing room door to get the others’ attention. “I’m coming out!” You warned them. The hushed murmuring from the otherside quieted.

“WE’RE READY!!” Papyrus replied.

Pushing the door open, you did some jazz hands as their gaze fell on you.

Papyrus’ face positively lit up as he took in the image, while Sans gave you a thumbs up and a lazy grin. There was just a hint of blue on his cheekbones, though… 

“ _suits_ ya.” He told you quietly.

“OH!! LELE!! YOU LOOK WONDERFUL!” Papyrus said next, “I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED SOME NEW FORMAL CLOTHES. RAISE YOUR ARMS TO TEST THE FIT!”

Feeling slightly embarrassed at the others’ silent stare, you did as Papyrus asked. He then asked you to turn around, arms still raised, so he could ‘see the fit’. He hadn’t done this when the _others_ had tried on clothes…

It was when Papyrus asked you to bend in a few different directions that Red let out a long whistle.

“great view!” He snickered.

“HMPH.” Blue huffed, “IGNORE HIM, LELE, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.”

Red grouses slightly at Blue. “i was complimenting him, wasn’t i?”

“pretty sure that was a cat call.” Stretch said. You gave him a thankful little smile which he returned with a wink.

“ANYWAYS, MINE NEXT!” Blue jumps off the couch to hand you a shirt and shorts. Before you could see what they were, he was pushing you into the dressing room yet again.

With the door shut behind you, you undressed and folded the previous clothes to put on the small bench that was in there with you. Then, you looked at what Blue had chosen. The same crop top with flowy, soft black capris. The top just barely covered your rib cage while putting your spine on display while the bottoms went down to your knee caps.

It was loose and comfortable!

When you exited the small booth, you put your hands on your hip bones. “I like it!” You said.

Blue had stars in his eye sockets as he looked you up and down. “ME TOO!”

“nice choice.” Stretch complimented.

Red blew a raspberry, “booooooooooooring.” He droned.

This earned him a swift elbow from Sans, who he’d sat by after taking your spot from earlier. He rubbed at his sore ribs and flipped your eldest brother off.

“YOU LOOK QUITE ADORABLE!” Papyrus added.

Last was… Edge. He scrutinized your appearance before uttering one word. “SOFT.”

Well… the outfit _was_ soft…

“Thanks…?” You replied. “I guess it’s your turn, then.” You went to take the clothes from Edge, but Blue stopped you.

“UM… AREN’T YOU GOING TO TEST THE FIT?” He asked with bright blue cheekbones. You shook your head as you stretched your arms out a little. The fabric was elastic enough that you knew it was good.

“It’s pretty loose-fitting so I’m fine.”

“OH… OKAY.” Blue said, sounding just a little sad. “YOU CAN TRY ON EDGE’S CLOTHES THEN.”

Only stopping for a second to give Blue a confused look, you took the outfit Edge handed you and went into the dressing booth yourself for once. You promptly folded the clothes Blue’d given you and started to put on what Edge chose.

And you… started to wonder if Edge knew your size, because the black sweater he’d chosen went down to your mid-thigh and the boat neckline hung off one of your shoulders. The pants were miraculously perfect for you, though. Black skinny jeans to cover up what the huge sweater didn’t. Somehow you were surprised despite knowing this was exactly Edge’s style.

When you showed off the outfit, Blue made an odd sound.

“WOW! IT’S SO… DARK!” He said, trying to sound like he was complimenting you. It just sounded awkward though.

“WARM.” Edge corrected, “IT’S WARM.”

“i like it.” Sans offered. You looked at him to gauge if he was telling the truth, but he seemed genuine.

“IT CERTAINLY FITS THE SNOWDIN WEATHER!” Papyrus agreed.

“are you sure? seems like lele might get the _cold shoulder.”_ Stretch punned, nodding to your bare shoulder. It got a little laugh from you, but even Sans and Red only huffed while the louder skeletons groaned.

“Good one. And it _is_ comfortable.” You said, “I guess it’s… Red’s turn?”

Suddenly, the edgy skeleton who’d been quiet for the past minute straightened up in his seat. He gave you a wide grin and handed you what he'd picked. “ _finally.”_ He purred. You felt a smatter of heat rush to your skull at the tone, so you quickly retreated back to the dressing room.

Looking down, you saw that he’d picked a silken short sleeve button up and another pair of dark skinny jeans and a thick black belt. While the pants were plain, the shirt was black with deep red roses on it. The silk was incredibly thin and soft…

You tucked it into the jeans and started to do up the buttons, but found yourself confused. It seemed as though some of the buttons were missing… because they only went up to the bottom of your sternum. It took you a second to realize that it was _intentional_ … you had to calm the bright pink blush on your face before you could face the others as you finally slipped the belt through the loops of the jeans.

Red had definitely been anticipating the outfit, because when you left the booth, he was leaning as far forward as he could. His brother and Blue were shooting him odd looks, but he either didn't notice or didn’t care, because his grin grew to shit-eating proportions when he saw you.

Another whistle left his teeth, “lookin’ good, doll!”

“SURPRISINGLY FASHIONABLE!” Papyrus praised with a keen eye.

There were compliments across the board, which brought the flush you’d just been fighting back with a vengeance. You shifted shyly in place as you received the praise. It did make you feel a bit more confident, though! You didn’t often wear clothes that showed a lot of your bones… Blue and Red’s choices were definitely the boldest clothes you’ve worn.

You took the next outfit from Stretch with a grateful smile.

Since you already knew what he’d picked out, you were less hesitant. Looking into the mirror at the back of the booth, you did a peace sign. Just like Stretch!

… While _you_ were delighted with the concept of matching with Stretch, Blue was not so enthusiastic.

“PAPY!” He scolded, “THAT’S JUST WHAT _YOU_ USUALLY WEAR!”

“if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Stretch shrugged. “i think it’s neat.”

“i think it’s boring.” Red deemed once again while looking you over.

Neither Sans or the other Papyruses had any complaints, though, so you quickly moved on. Last but not least…

Sans handed you his outfit with a lazy grin. “have at it, lele.”

You hummed and took the outfit into the dressing booth. A regular white t-shirt with dark sweatpants. You chuckled, typical for Sans.

The shirt was especially soft, though, and when you looked in the mirror you did a double take. The sweatpants were just fine, but… the shirt was see-through. Your entire torso was easily visible through the light fabric.

… Could you go out like this?

A knock at the door startled you out of your thoughts.

“ARE YOU OKAY?” Blue’s bubbly voice came, “YOU’VE BEEN AWFULLY QUIET…”

“Uh, yeah, be out in a sec!” You called back. Well… it’s not like you haven’t been around your brothers without a shirt before! It’s just a rib cage! Right! Besides! Blue had already picked out a crop top that showed off your spine, and Red’s choice practically gave the others an eye full of your rib cage...

With a hand that was only _slightly_ trembling, you opened up the door to the dressing room and stepped out.

… The reaction was instant.

Blue and Red’s jaws dropped while Sans had to put a hand over his smile for some reason. Papyrus’ sockets boggled and even Stretch had a light dusting of orange over his face. Edge was politely averting his gaze, skull turned to the side.

“SANS!” Papyrus exclaimed, “THAT OUTFIT IS HARDLY APPROPRIATE FOR PUBLIC!”

Sans let out a nervous giggle behind his hand and averted his own eyes. “... lazy day wear?”

“I… I LIKE IT!” Blue chimed in. His entire skull was blue, but he was looking at you eagerly. “VERY COMFORTABLE FOR HOME WEAR!”

“can’t believe i’m agreeing with one of you dumb fucks.” Red swore lowly. He seemed just as entranced as Blue.

“WELL… IF BRADLEY LIKES IT….. THEN…..” Papyrus said reluctantly.

Edge scoffs, “THERE’S NOTHING LEWD ABOUT RIB CAGES, GET AHOLD OF YOURSELVES.”

And yet he still wasn’t looking at you directly…

“yeah.” Stretch coughed, “yeah. looks good. guess that’s it then.”

“Okay…” You agreed. It wasn’t long until you were back in your own clothes and your little troupe was checking out. After the checkout, you went back to the other store to pick up the Papyruses’ clothes.

Then, _finally,_ it was time to go home.

It was late and even the more energetic skeletons were dragging their feet about the journey back.

You started yawning about halfway through Waterfall, at which point Blue offered to carry the bag with your new clothes in it. You initially rejected the offer, seeing as how he already had to carry a few bags of his own, but he convinced you after Papyrus offered to carry you the rest of the way.

Under the fake stars, you drifted between wakefulness and sleep. You were lulled into a deep sleep some time along the way, only waking when you were placed into a bed. It wasn’t yours, but you snuggled up to a pillow and let the worries of the day go.

You felt yourself get sandwiched between two other thin bodies not too long after, one tall and the other around your size, holding onto you rightly as they spooned you from behind.

Breath fanned over the back of your delicate cervical vertebrae and you squirmed away slightly before the darkness took you once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally this is done... I REALLY didn't want o write all the outfits/reactions but I set it up so I had to.... I think it came out okay though!
> 
> And yes: The outfit Red picked out for Lele was most definitely a gothic e-boy look and you can't change my mind.
> 
> Coming up with so many different types of unisex/male looks was a liiiitle bit difficult! But I did it! And Bradley looks great! There's someone who wanted to spend more time with Edge, but it'll probably take a few more chapters since I have just a BIT more thirst planned first...

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! If you're here, you may be familiar with [THIS](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20231878/chapters/47947258) work right here. I still desperately want to write it, but I'm terribly busy and uninspired. I've been reading a great many multiverse fics however, and I can't shake the idea of Bradley and OtherBros!
> 
> So I figured I'd write this while I gather inspiration!!
> 
> This fic has NO PLOT WHATSOEVER beyond like 3 things I know I want to do.
> 
> SO, If you want to see something, request it in the comments! This could be as simple as 'Bradley interacts with Annoying Dog?' to as complicated as specific characters and interactions! Don't be shy!
> 
> Love you all UWU!


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